


Don't Kiss and Tell

by Luki



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Bodyswap, Gen, Hana thinks she's the only sane one left in Namimori, Hibari thinks it's useful, Humor, Inspired by Yamada-Kun and the Seven Witches, Kyouko thinks it's awesome, Reborn just wants Tsuna to stay in his own body for five minutes, Tsuna has a very strange power
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 70,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6959440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luki/pseuds/Luki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The men in Nana's family carry a very strange curse.  They swap bodies with anyone they kiss.  When a very young Tsuna trips and falls on his new friend Kyoko, it sets in motion a very unusual friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm having a really lousy day, so decided to dig through my works in progress and publish the most light hearted one I had a little sooner than planned. This was inspired by the anime Yamada-Kun and the Seven Witches, but you don't need to watch it to understand. Essentially, in the anime certain characters can activate powers with a kiss, and one of them can swap bodies. That's all it has in common.

**Don't Kiss and Tell**

**Chapter 1**

Sawada Tsunayoshi was five years old, and already tired with life.  He wasn’t fast, or strong, or smart or funny.  Nobody ever wanted him on their team, and when he was, he was always the first one out.  Tsuna was the one person on the planet nobody wanted around, not even Tsuna.

He sighed and climbed up the steps of the jungle gym and sat at the top of the slide.  He’d become very fond of the slide, since unlike the swings and the monkey bars, it was very difficult to fall off...but very boring after the first five times.  A few seconds later, he slumped the bottom and glanced over at the edge of the park, where a hoard of kids were playing tag.  He’d tried to join in, only to get laughed away.

“I wish I was someone else.  Anyone else….”

“You there!  Can you play a dragon to the extreme?”

“Hieee!”

Tsuna jerked off the slide and into the dirt.  A much taller boy with a shock of white hair was pointing at him, grinning like a crazy man.  Apparently oblivious to Tsuna’s shock, the boy crouched by his side.

“Kyoko wants to play Rescue the Princess!” said the boy.  “But we extremely need another player!”

Kyoko?

As he stumbled to his feet, he noticed a smaller figure hiding behind the boy.  His eyes widened as he took in the young girl with strawberry blonde hair and gentle eyes.

“Um…hello” she said, giving a small bow.  “Sorry, my brother is a little…enthusiastic.  You don’t have to play if you don’t want to.”

“But Kyoko!  We extremely need a dragon!  If we don’t, who else can the extreme knight save you from?”

Tsuna swallowed, and as he piped up, both children shut up and focused on him. 

“How do you play?”

The manic boy grinned, while the girl gave a smile that dimmed the sun.

* * *

 

After a whirlwind five minutes, Tsuna found himself on top of the jungle gym, sitting next to Kyoko and squeaking out the odd roar while Kyoko’s brother – Ryohei – runs around the gym hollering…knighty things.

“Thank you Tsuna” Kyoko giggles, while Ryohei yells about “slaying the evil beast to the extreme!”  “Most people are a little put off by my brother.”

To be honest, had Ryohei approached him on his own, Tsuna would probably have run in the other direction.  But Kyoko had looked so hopeful, and so sweet, Tsuna couldn’t even think about saying no.

“Do you live near here?”

Tsuna nodded.  “Just a few streets away.  You?”

Kyoko smiled.  “We’re a little further away, closer to the shopping centre.  It’s a bit far to walk, but brother takes care of me.”

Her face dims a little as Ryohei starts clambering up the net.  “Other kids invite me to play all the time, but only if brother stays home.  Lots of people don’t like brother, he’s really enthusiastic and people don’t want to be around him.  He says he doesn’t mind, but he’s my brother, I don’t want to be around people who are mean to him.”

She smiles.  “Sometimes I wish I could be as cool as my brother.  He never lets anyone tell him what to do.”

“Y-You’re pretty cool Kyoko” Tsuna piped up.  “You’re the coolest princess on the jungle gym.”

That made Kyoko laugh, and she stood up.

“Really?  Is that why you captured me?”

Tsuna bit his lip and nodded, and stood up with her.  “Sure.  I don’t capture any old princess.  Just the very best.”

Kyoko was grinning now, and Tsuna began to relax, just as Ryohei announced his arrival to the top.

“I HAVE COME TO SLAY THE DRAGON TO THE EXTREME!”

The next few moments changed everything.

Ryohei’s yell jolted Tsuna, causing his natural klutziness to take into effect.  He tripped into Kyoko, and the two stumbled back.  Kyoko leaned back, hoping to hit the wall, only to find them both flying downwards on the slide.  Her back hit the metal, Tsuna crashed into her, and as they slipped down the slide, Tsuna’s lips crashed against Kyoko’s.

Even at five years old, this would have been a terrifyingly humiliating moment for both of them had it not been in the middle of a panic, and what happened next.

It was a strange feeling, a tugging at their heads, before their vision shifted and positions swapped. 

As Ryohei yelled from the top of the slide, Tsuna and Kyoko stood up, and found themselves staring at a mirror replica of each.

“D-doppelganger!”

“Hieeee!”

Both children jerked back, staring in horror at what stood in front of them.  Tsuna was the first to drop his gaze, only to shriek as he spotted a pink sundress he was currently wearing.  The whimper from nearby suggested Kyoko had spotted the dungarees, and when he looked up, Kyoko-Tsuna was pulling at her hair.

“Tsuna, what just happened?” she asked, a little frantic.  Tsuna-Kyoko could only shake his head.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Kyoko!”

They both jerked as Ryohei slid down the slide, and Tsuna-Kyoko’s eyes widened as the older boy clapped his hands around his…her? Shoulders.

“I’m extremely sorry I scared you!” Ryohei blustered.  “Are you okay?”

Tsuna-Kyoko could only stare at him in horror, and the worried expression became panicked.

“Kyoko?  Kyoko are you broken?”

He turned around and loomed over his actual sister, unbeknownst to him.

“Oi!  Tsuna!  What did you do to my sister?”

Much to both boy’s astonishment, Kyoko-Tsuna just burst into tears, and Ryohei stepped back in confusion while Tsuna-Kyoko panicked.

“Kyoko!” he yelped, running towards her.  “It’s okay!  Don’t cry!”

Ryohei blinked as his sister started comforting the sobbing boy.  “Eh?  Kyoko?”

Kyoko-Tsuna looked up from the sniffling.  "B-Big brother” she choked out. 

The older boy looked back and forth between them.

“Is this a new game?”

Kyoko-Tsuna shook his head.  “No!  Something happened when we fell down the slide.  We swapped bodies but we don’t know how.”

Ryohei’s jaw dropped, and he screamed in horror before lunging forward and clamping his arms around Kyoko-Tsuna.

“I’m extremely sorry for yelling at you Kyoko!  Please don’t cry!”

* * *

Thankfully, Ryohei had absolutely no trouble accepting both Kyoko and Tsuna’s word as truth, but he had no more idea how to fix the problem than they did.  They tried going down the slide again, yelling out magical words, and even an ‘extreme hug!” thanks to Ryohei.  It didn’t work, but the action made Tsuna think back to exactly what happened before the incident…and blushed bright red when he realised what they hadn’t yet tried.

“Uh…K-Kyoko?” he started.  “When we fell down the slide, we crashed into each other and…and…andwekindofkissedeachother!”

Kyoko-Tsuna thought back, and immediately blushed.  Ryohei was automatically furious.

“You took Kyoko’s extreme first kiss!” he roared, only to calm down as Kyoko-Tsuna tugged on his arm, still blushing furiously.

“Maybe it’s like the magic kiss in the storybooks?” she said, catching on to what Tsuna had been suggesting.  “M-Maybe if we do it again?”

It was hard to say which of them was redder by the end of that sentence.  Ryohei seemed torn between outrage that his little sister had to perform such an act, and eagerness to try and fix the problem.  Tsuna was refusing to look up, while Kyoko was biting her…his? Lip.  Finally, she sighed, and marched over the boy currently possessing her body, and quickly pressed her lips to his.

The same jerking feeling occurred, and when they both pulled away, they had swapped positions.  Kyoko lit up.

“It worked!”

Tsuna grinned, wrapping his arms around his chest.  “I’m me again!”

“Extreme!” Ryohei roared.

* * *

That night, when they get home, all three of them tell their parents what had occurred.

The Sasagawa’s are a little upset that their daughter has been kissing random boys, but with her brother’s ‘extreme explanation’ assume that it’s all part of the make believe game they’d been playing, and brush it off with good humour.  It’s actually quite sweet that their children have such vivid imaginations.

Sawada Nana on the other hand…

“Oh Tsuna, you activated the curse already?” she says.  “You’re such a fast learner!”

Tsuna’s eyes widen.  “C-curse?”

His mother nods, and sits him down in the living room.  “My family have a very big secret Tsu-kun” she whispers.  “Hundreds of years ago, one of my ancestors broke the heart of a woman well loved by a guardian spirit.  The spirit in turn, cursed my ancestor.  Now, whenever a man of my family kisses another person, he swaps bodies with that person.”

“But why?” Tsuna asks.  It’s a rather terrifying feeling to swap, but why would the spirit do it?

Nana smiles.  “Because if you swap bodies with someone, there’s no guarantee they’ll swap back.  My ancestor was very wealthy, and when the next woman he seduced kissed him, she found herself in the body of a rich and powerful man.  She refused to give it back, and nobody believed him.  He ended up living in the street, hungry and dying because everyone thought he was mad.”

She claps her hands.  “But don’t worry, there’s a happy ending.  A man took pity on my ancestor and nursed him back to health.  My ancestor fell in love with the man’s kindness, and even when he had a chance to take his body for his own, he gave it back.  They stayed together and swapped regularly, even having children together.”

Nana places her hands on her son’s shoulders.  “Every man in my line has been blessed with this curse Tsu-kun” she says.  “Some find someone who loves them and is happy to share their body with them, others swap lives with others completely, and some choose to never kiss the one they love.  But they have always found a way to be happy.”

“…Really?” Tsuna asks.

“Oh yes!” Nana insists.  “My parents used to swap bodies all the time.  I think my Dad actually carried me the whole nine months!  And my Great, Great Grandfather wasn’t actually my Great, Great Grandfather at all!  He was the son from a wealthy family, and they refused to let him marry my Great, Great Grandmother, so he swapped with a friend so he could marry her, and his friend could have money!”

“What about never kissing?” Tsuna replies, and Nana waves her hand. 

“Your uncle insists he’s never swapped with your Aunt” she says.  “And they’re very happy together.  There are lots of things you can do with the one you love that don’t require kissing on the lips.”

“Really?” Tsuna asks, and Nana freezes, suddenly realising what she’s saying to her five-year-old son.

“Ah, hah hah, don’t you worry about that” she insists.  “Let’s have dinner now, okay Tsu-kun?”

* * *

In another life, perhaps that would have been the end of it.  The Sasagawa siblings would have decided to believe it was just a made up game, and Tsuna would have sworn never to kiss anyone again.

However, in this life, Tsuna would return to the park to find Kyoko waiting there for him.

“Hi Tsuna!  Were you okay last night?”

Tsuna nodded.  “Um, y-yes.  I-I told my mother what happened and she said that my family is cursed.  All the men in my family can do it.”

Kyoko’s eyes widened.  “Really?  That’s amazing.  You’re like a superhero!”

Tsuna blushed heavily.  “N-not really!  It’s not really useful or anything.  It’s just scary and weird.”

“I don’t think so” Kyoko replied.  “It’s only weird if you let it be.”

“Well, it’s not like I can use it for anything.”

At that, Kyoko faltered, and looked down, wringing her hands.

“Um…actually, I was wondering if we could maybe do it again?”

Tsuna’s eyes widened.  “E-eh?”

The girl looked at him with wide, hopeful eyes.  “Do you want to try it again?  I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to be a boy!”

“Hiei!  Really?”

Kyoko nodded.  “Haven’t you noticed how different people treat boy and girls.  Girls have to be pretty and sweet and the boys don’t let them play in the really rough games.  But boys aren’t allowed to play with dolls and have to do what girls say.”

Tsuna pouted.  “But I’ve never really wanted to play with dolls

“You don’t have to!” Kyoko insisted.  “But people always treat girls nicer…”

She glanced over into the park, where other kids were playing.  “I noticed yesterday, other kids don’t treat you very well.  Wouldn’t you like it if people treated you nicer?”

He forced down the instinctive ‘yes’ but Kyoko was still looking at him with giant bambi eyes…and that will crumbled.

“J-just for an hour?”

Kyoko’s face lit up, and she gave a quick bow.

“Thank you Tsuna.”

The boy just blushed furiously when she took his shoulders, and pressed a light kiss to his lips.

Since they were prepared for it, the switch went smoother this time, and a moment later, Tsuna looked at his grinning doppelganger and sighed.

“Please don’t do anything too dangerous.”

Kyoko-Tsuna nodded and grabbed his arm.  “I promise.  Now let’s go play!”

Despite his protests, Kyoko dragged Tsuna towards the children playing tag, and pushed him forward.  The group paused as they watched them walk over, and Kyoko-Tsuna turned to them with a smile.

“Hi there!  I’m going away for a bit, so can Kyoko play with you?”

The kids were scowling, with seemed to give Kyoko pause, but they faded when they looked at Tsuna-Kyoko, who was more than a little hesitant.

“Sure Dame-Tsuna” said one of the leaders.  “She can play if you leave.”

Tsuna-Kyoko panicked, but Kyoko-Tsuna just patted him on the shoulder.  “I’ll be back in an hour, have fun!”

With that Kyoko ran off, taking Tsuna’s body with her.  Tsuna-Kyoko wanted to follow, only to find one of the kids tugging on his arm.

“Come on Kyoko!” she said.  “Hiro’s it, he’s the one in the red shirt.  Just stay away from him okay.”

He took one more glance at Kyoko, vanishing out of the park.  “Uh…okay.”

The game resumed, and Tsuna-Kyoko was a little bit hesitant.  In a matter of minutes, he’d trip and fall, or get caught first or cause someone else to be caught.

However, as the game went on, Tsuna, in Kyoko’s body, didn’t trip, or fall or do anything other than run around and avoid the ones who were it. 

It was as if whatever made him Dame-Tsuna didn’t follow when he swapped bodies.

(He kind of pitied Kyoko if it remained for her).

Of course, it was too good to last.  As he tried to avoid Hiro and the other ‘it’s,’ he stumbled and fell to the ground, ripping Kyoko’s dress and scraping her knee.

He winced in pain, and started to panic.  He’d ruined Kyoko’s dress; he’d ruined Kyoko’s knee!  She was never going to forgive him.

Just as he started tearing up, he found himself surrounded by concerned children, pulling him up and trying to console him.

“Don’t cry Kyoko!  It’ll be okay!”

“Your dress is only a little dirty, do you want us to take you home.  We promise you won’t get in trouble!”

He could only try to choke back the hysterics as people crowded him, offering him support and platitudes, something that he’d never really experienced.  Before he could really process it, there was a familiar voice coming from the distance.

“Tsu…Kyoko!”

It was Kyoko, running towards him, and Tsuna could only gape at the sight of his body.  All of his clothes were either torn or covered in dirt, while his hair was bedraggled and…was that a bird’s nest hiding in it?

“Kyo…Tsuna?”

Kyoko-Tsuna gave a nervous chuckle.  “Yeah, sorry.  I got in a little trouble.”

The kids snorted.  “Typical Dame-Tsuna.  We can take care of Kyoko.”

“No!” Tsuna-Kyoko squeaked.  “I-I mean, our uh…families!  Our families know each other and I need to go home with Tsuna.”

Kyoko-Tsuna blinks, but quickly gets on board.  “Uh…yes!  Yes, so it’s okay.  I’m sure…Kyoko will be happy to play with you again.  But we need to go now!”

She slings an arm around Tsuna’s shoulders and the two of them stumble out of the park.  Within a few steps, the two of them collapse into giggles.

“W-what did you do to my body?” Tsuna-Kyoko snickers, the pain in his knee fading under the glee.

“S-sorry” Kyoko-Tsuna snickers.  “I was climbing a tree when a branch broke and I kind of fell.  Then I slipped into the river.”

“What!”

“Just a little!  I pulled myself out!” Kyoko-Tsuna insists.  “Your body is a little bigger than mine and it’s a little clumsy.”

Tsuna-Kyoko winced, but nodded in acceptance. 

“So…how was it for you?”  Kyoko-Tsuna asked.

Tsuna-Kyoko sobered at that.  “It was…nice.  Everyone was nice to me, and when I tripped they were all nice and comforting.  Normally people just laugh.”

They both fell silent, and then turned to look at each other, with grins slipping on their faces.

“Want to do this again?”

“Same time next week?”

They shook hands, and after a quick glance for witnesses, kissed back.

“Deal.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eep, had a long day, then remembered I needed to post this. Enjoy.

**Chapter 2**

It should have only been a few times, ending once the novelty wore off.  But by the end of the year, Tsuna and Kyoko swapping bodies had become a weekly occurrence.  Kyoko really enjoyed the freedom she could get from being a boy, while Tsuna really liked not being ‘Dame Tsuna’ for a while.

They also tried to keep it secret.  Although her brother knew about the first incident, Kyoko had asked that they keep it quiet from Ryohei.  She was pretty sure her brother wouldn’t understand why his sweet little sister would want to swap bodies with a boy, or be comfortable with her kissing said boy a dozen times.

Tsuna would never admit it, but he had become grateful to his ‘curse.’  He had always been a little…okay, a lot, aware, that he wasn’t a very ‘manly’ boy.  His father, mother and the kids in the neighbourhood had all made that clear.  He was too cautious, too quiet, too…soft.  When playing as Kyoko, those were actually personality pros – people might like Kyoko, but when Tsuna was in the driver’s seat, they liked him just as much.

As for Kyoko, although she was a quiet, sweet and charming young girl, getting to play in another body seemed to release something inside her.  There were all these things girls were-not-allowed-to-do that Kyoko very much wanted to do, and Tsuna’s ability gave her that.

So by the time both of them started school, both of them had become exceptionally talented at playing each other.  It had gotten to the point where even Kyoko’s parents couldn’t tell something was off…although to be fair Kyoko’s parents had no idea it was possible, but Ryohei was just as oblivious. 

Nana on the other hand, always seemed to know who walked through the front door regardless of what they looked like.  No matter how hard Kyoko tried, Nana knew instantly.  Thankfully she seemed happy that Tsuna was embracing the curse instead of being scared of it, and her only request was that they always swapped back before Kyoko went home, just in case something happened…unless they decided to switch permanently, in which case that was just fine.

Tsuna really didn’t know how to take that.

 It could have continued that way for years, with the two of them switching back and forth, possibly forever, until Kyoko’s brother forced things to change.  Kyoko, wearing Tsuna’s body met Tsuna outside their Elementary School one afternoon in time to switch, eyes frantic and body shaking.

“My brother’s in danger Tsuna!”

His heart leapt into his throat.  Ryohei, or ‘brother’ as he’d started to consider him (masquerade as someone’s sibling long enough and certain things start to stick) had been acting odd lately, but Tsuna hadn’t considered the boy could be in actual trouble.  “What happened?”

Between ragged breaths and a desperate attempt to hold back tears, Kyoko spilled the story.  Ryohei had always been a bit of a fighter, and apparently that had caught the attention of some older, and far less scrupulous boys.  They’d decided Ryohei had to be taught a lesson, and were going to meet him to fight this evening.  However, rather than taking him out themselves, they were going to kidnap Kyoko as a shield.  Kyoko might have remained oblivious if it hadn’t been for the fact that she’d overheard them while in Tsuna’s body.

“I need to stop them Tsuna” she said, after she’d calmed down and they’d switched back.  “I can’t let them use me to hurt my brother.”

“Can’t you talk to your brother?” Tsuna asked.  “Maybe you can convince him to stay away?”

Kyoko was already shaking her head.  “You know my brother Tsuna.  He’ll never back down, no matter what.”

He sighs.  “Well if we can’t talk to him, what can we do?”

The girl bit her lip. 

“Well…I was thinking…what if you swapped bodies with my brother, and then swapped with me?”

Tsuna’s eyes widened.  “Hiei?  Kyoko that’s too dangerous!”

“I know Tsuna, but if I go, maybe I can talk to them.  Get them to back off.  I can’t let them use me to get to my brother!”

Tsuna was already shaking his head, so Kyoko grabbed his shoulders, giving him the biggest kicked puppy look she could.

“Please Tsuna!  I don’t want to bother my brother but I have to do something.”

His resolve was crumbling, he could feel it.  It was stupid and reckless and could put them both in danger…but she sounded to desperate…

“But I don’t even know if I can swap in another body…”

Kyoko clapped her hands and bowed.  “Can you try?  I need to do this.”

Looking at that teary face, Tsuna couldn’t help but crumble.  Like he always did.

“Where is your brother?”

* * *

They had to take the long way to avoid any would-be abductors, but made it to the Sasagawa residence without incident.  Ryohei Sasagawa was snoring on his bed, napping before his future standoff, and oblivious to his door opening and letting in the younger duo.  Kyoko stayed close to the exit while Tsuna tiptoed towards the bed.

This was unbelievably awkward.  Maybe it wasn’t right to kiss Kyoko all the time, but still, at least Kyoko was a girl!  Now he had to kiss her brother?

He made the mistake of glancing back, and getting a full blast of Kyoko’s hopeful eyes, and drooped.  Turning his attention to the bed, he braced his hands on the edge, and hesitantly dipped in. 

It was the quickest, lightest kiss he could manage, but he hadn’t taken into account his position.

He yelped as he suddenly found himself shifted onto the bed, while his body crashed and sprawled over the blankets.  Ryohei, oblivious, continued to snore as Tsuna-Ryohei jumped off the bed and Kyoko took his place.

“Let’s try it Tsuna” she insisted, and lightly kissed her brother’s body, igniting the same shifting feeling.  He barely had time to register the fact that he could continue to swap even out of his own body, before Kyoko-Ryohei pushed off, looking between Tsuna in her body and Tsuna’s actual body in expectation.  Tsuna sighed, but accepted there was no point in taking Kyoko’s body when the whole event was supposed to keep her out of harm’s way.

He kissed Ryohei-Kyoko, and with Kyoko-Ryohei’s aid, had Ryohei snoozing comfortably in his little sister’s body while they slipped out the door.

* * *

It didn’t take long to track down the boys – they were prowling around the river where Kyoko normally walked, and stood straight when Kyoko-Ryohei walked up to them.

“Excuse me, but I want to talk to you” she said.

The ringleader just crossed his arms and sneered.  “Talk Sasagawa?” he snapped.  “I think we both know we need to do a little more than that.”

Kyoko shook her head.  “No we uh…extremely don’t.  I’ve been thinking, and there’s no reason for us to fight.  I promise I’m not your enemy.”

“Oh come on” one of the lackies sneered.  “You’ve been beating up our buddies left and right all through school.  It’s our turf, you either get in line or you get stamped down.”

“Please, you even brought Dame-Tsuna” the ringleader replied.  “So confident you bring a bad luck charm with you?  That you’ll regret.”

“Hiei!” Tsuna squealed.  “No!  That’s not it at all!”

“Shut up!” the boy yelled, and lunged forward, punching Kyoko in the stomach.

The reaction was immediate.  Kyoko buckled, staggering back and fighting the urge to drop.  Her opponent sneered. 

“Seriously?  I thought you’d at least _try_ to block that.”

“Kyoko!” Tsuna yelled, running forward before he managed to think it through, only to find himself yanked back and thrown to the ground by the other boys.

Kyoko winced, and forced herself upwards, throwing a punch at the boy in front of her.  Unfortunately, although she might have her brother’s body, Kyoko didn’t have the slightest clue how to fight.  The punch was sloppy, and went wide, sending her flying to the ground.

The older boys burst into laughter.  “Man, is that the best you’ve got Sasagawa?”

“I can’t believe we were ever actually worried about this brat.”

The ringleader stalked over, and yanked Kyoko-Ryohei up by the hair, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a knife.

“Still, best make an example of him.  Just so people understand.”

Tsuna’s eyes widened, and he tried to break free from his guards.  “S-stop it!  This isn’t what we wanted!”

“Oh shut it Dame-Tsuna!” the boy snapped.  “You’re lucky I’m busy right now.  Stay quiet and I’ll even let you leave with all your teeth.”

Still wincing from the tight grasp in her hair, Kyoko tried to break away.

“T-Tsuna…”

“Oi!  What is extremely going on?”

Everyone froze, and slowly turned to stare at the new arrival.

There, with angry scowl and arms akimbo, stood Kyoko.  Or rather, Ryohei in his sisters body. 

He pointed in Kyoko-Ryohei’s direction.  “Body snatcher!  Give me back my body and return Kyoko!”

Kyoko-Ryohei winced.  “brother…it’s me, Kyoko.”

Ryohei-Kyoko’s jaw dropped.  “Eh, K-Kyoko?”

“Oi, what the hell are you morons talking about?” snapped the ringleader.  He kicked Kyoko in the stomach as he yanked her up.  “Stop talking nonsense.”

“Kyoko!” Tsuna whimpered, but trailed off when he felt the sheer fury emenating from the body of the little girl watching the scene.

“How dare you hurt Kyoko!” Ryohei-Kyoko screamed, all but combusting in anger, lunging at the boy holding her down.  The act made the boys laugh, the sight of a little girl in a skirt running towards them more adorable than anything else.

At least, until the little girl landed a punch that broke the ringleader’s nose and sent him flying off his victim.

Here’s the thing – while Kyoko didn’t have the instincts to fully utilise her brother’s body, they were still very much active with Ryohei.  He couldn’t land with the same kind of strength, but the natural talent for fighting could make up for a lot of physical detriment at this age.

This, combined with the element of surprise borne from their opponent being a little girl with bambi eyes and flower hair clips, resulted in a rather spectacular ass kicking.  Tsuna and Kyoko crawled to the side, and just watched Ryohei-Kyoko pound his opponents into the ground.  Within a few minutes, all three boys are running off, and Ryohei is collapsing to the ground, looking at Kyoko’s hands in utter panic.

“Gah!  Kyoko, I hurt your hands!  I’m sorry.”

Kyoko-Ryohei ran over, grabbing his hands in hers and sniffling.  “No!  It’s not your fault big brother.  I should have told you what was happening, but I heard those boys say they were going to use me to get to you, and I thought I could talk them out of it if I went as you.  I’m sorry.”

Ryohei-Kyoko’s eyes softened.  “Oh Kyoko, you extremely shouldn’t have been involved.  This was a battle between men.”

“I know” Kyoko replied.  “But I want to protect you too big brother.”

Ryohei sighed, and turned to Tsuna, who was watching from where he’d crawled earlier.  “Oi, this is your doing Sawada?  It’s an extreme technique.”

Tsuna squeaked, and bowed his head.  “Y-yes broth-I mean Sasagawa!”

“It’s not his fault brother” Kyoko insisted.  “I’m the one who convinced him.  We’ve been swapping a lot ever since we found out Tsuna could do it.”

Ryohei’s jaw dropped  .  “Eh!  Kyoko, that’s not extreme!”

His sister frowned at him, and Ryohei winced as he discovered her puppy eyes were still astonishingly effective even while wearing his own face.  “Brother!  I can swap with Tsuna if I want!  I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you, but sometimes it’s fun to pretend to be someone else.  Right Tsuna?”

The Sasagawas turned to look at him, and Tsuna faltered, unable and unwilling to argue.  “R-right.  And I promise I’ve never done anything wrong with Kyoko’s body!  Ever!”

Kyoko grinned.  “See brother?  It’s okay.”

Ryohei could only turn to look at both of them, head moving furiously before sighing.  “I guess it’s your decision to the extreme.”

He stood up, and pounded one hand into his fist.

“But I extremely insist that you never get in the way of my fights Kyoko!  I won’t let this happen again!”

Tsuna was already nodding in agreement, and Kyoko smiled.

“Okay big brother.  But for now, let’s swap back and go home.”

A second later, she’d pulled Tsuna close and kissed him, oblivious to the shrieks of “Extreme Affection!” beside them.

* * *

The very next day, Ryohei insisted on walking his sister and ‘brother-who-is-sometimes-my-sister’ to school in case their opponents tried anything.  Thankfully, their trip remained thug free…although everyone seemed to give Kyoko a very wide berth when they finally reached the school.

Apparently there was a rumour going round that Kyoko was in fact the heir to some Female Amazon Warrior Tribe and could punch out a grown man as easy as she could smile.

Ryohei was horrified, and insisted on correcting the story to absolutely everyone who heard it.  Which only made their classmates certain it was true.

Kyoko stayed silent on the matter, but when she caught eyes with Tsuna in class, they both couldn’t help but giggle.

Looked like nobody would be using Kyoko against her brother anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko makes a new friend, and things become a little more complicated.

**Chapter 3**

A week later, once the bruises had faded, Tsuna waited for Kyoko outside the gates to walk with her home, only to see her head over with another girl in tow.

“Hi Tsuna!” she greeted, and gestured to the girl next to her.  “This is Hana.  She’s in my class.”

‘Hana’ was flicking her eyes over Tsuna, dismissing him in a few moments before returning her attention to Kyoko.

“This is the monkey you’ve been going on about all day?”

Tsuna blinked.  Monkey?

Kyoko pouted.  “Hana!  Don’t be rude.  Tsuna, do you mind if Hana walks with us?”

Yes.  But he was hardly going to say that in the face of so many sparkles.

“Sure.  I don’t mind.  It’s nice to meet you Hana.”

The girl merely sniffed, and Tsuna’s shoulders drooped, accepting that the best part of his day was going to be utterly miserable.

* * *

Kurokawa Hana didn’t have a lot of friends.

This was equal part due to desire and circumstance.  She had always considered herself rather mature compared to other kids her age, and most children, especially _boys,_ were so dumb and inconsiderate.  Frankly, there were so few children who were interesting that she didn’t bother to make friends.  In return, her rather standoffish behaviour isolated her from her classmates, and they didn’t make much effort either.

That’s when Kyoko had walked in.  She’d spotted the pretty girl in her class at the start of the year, but she’d been surrounded by other kids and Hana hadn’t given her another thought.  Then that weird ‘warrior princess’ rumour started and the girl’s entourage became more distant admirers.  When the class had needed to pair each other up for an assignment, there actually hadn’t been any immediate volunteers, just children and monkeys whispering in the back.  However, apparently oblivious to the chaos behind her, Kyoko had merely glanced around the room, walked up to Hana, and sat down next to her.

“Hi there” she’d said.  “Do you mind if we work together?”

Since she’d needed a partner and Kyoko had so far yet to annoy her in any way, she’d agreed.  And had so far been the best decision she’d made since she’d entered school.  Kyoko wasn’t necessarily very smart, but she was cute, and at least aware on some level that she could use it to her own advantage.  She also didn’t seem to care that Hana’s default personality was ‘harsh’ or care how Hana referred to other people, perfectly happy to smooth over any issues when they came without tossing blame to anyone.  At barely seven years old, the girl had managed to craft an almost flawless ‘perfect Japanese girl’ identity that Hana could only reel at.

All in all, Kyoko was the kind of girl Hana was quite happy to spend time with.  The only downside?  The title of ‘Kyoko’s Best Friend’ was already taken.  By a monkey.

Within an hour she’d learned not to ask about ‘Tsuna’ as Kyoko would gush praise and admiration that was decidedly not deserving.  Especially if Tsuna was the ‘Dame-Tsuna’ Hana had heard so much about.  A bit of an odd duck, who was generally at the bottom of the ladder at the school, unless he was having an ‘off’ day in which he could be found playing sports or getting into trouble.  When Kyoko asked if she wanted to walk home, she’d agreed, only realising too late that this would also involve walking with the monkey.

He at least had the saving grace of realising he was clearly not worthy of spending time in Kyoko and Hana’s presence.  Even when they walked home, nearly all Kyoko did was talk about Hana to an almost completely-silent Tsuna.  Maybe after a few weeks she could convince Kyoko of this too.  After all, now she had Hana, she wouldn’t need Dame-Tsuna.

* * *

Tsuna couldn’t decide if Hana was a good or bad thing.  On the one hand, Kyoko clearly thought she was a great friend.  On the other, her existence was directly affecting Tsuna’s own friendship.  Before now, Kyoko didn’t have any close friends, so nobody at school was likely to notice if they were acting odd.  They could only trick their parents and Ryohei because they were around them so often.  Thanks to this, the two of them hadn’t swapped for nearly 2 weeks. 

Maybe Kyoko didn’t want to swap anymore…now she had a ‘girl’ friend, Tsuna’s boy adventures probably seemed embarrassing.  All she ever talked about now was Hana.  Her favourite cake, her favourite show, how she scrunched up her nose when she was frustrated and raised an eyebrow when she wanted to hide a laugh.

The only person Tsuna knew that well was Kyoko, and he was starting to think Hana probably knew her better now.  As such he was caught off guard when Kyoko continued to follow him after Hana waved goodbye rather than head to her own house, and asked in the same tone one would ask the weather-

“So, think you’re prepared to swap tomorrow?”

Tsuna froze, and stared at Kyoko in shock. 

“Y-you still want to swap?”

The girl frowned.  “Well of course I do” she said.  “I know we have to be careful, but you should know enough now not to get caught.”

Tsuna just blinked like a deer in headlights, and Kyoko’s frown became a look of equal confusion.

“Tsuna, why do you think I’ve been talking about Hana all this time?  It’s so you’ll know how to be me around her!”

“EEEEHHHH?”

Kyoko smiled and clapped her hands.  “Don’t worry, I know you can do it.  I like Hana, and I like you, but she has problems with boys, so if you can convince her to like you as me, then everything will be fine.  She’s so smart, she would have figured something was wrong immediately if we’d done it earlier.”

“Kyoko, I don’t know…” Tsuna trailed off.  “It’s one thing to swap when nobody will notice, but actually fooling someone?  Hana could hate you if she finds out.”

The girl was already shaking her head.  “I don’t care.  I like swapping with you Tsuna.  And I like spending time with you too.  If Hana doesn’t like that, then she’s not a good friend anyway.  But I think she’ll learn to like you once she stops seeing you as one of the boys.”

“But I still have to convince her I’m you!”

“That’s easy.  What’s her favourite food?”

“Huh? Chicken Karage but- “

“Her least favourite class?”

“Home Economics.”

“Favourite?”

“Mathematics.  And she’s the only one in class that can do the advanced division I see your point!” Tsuna finishes, and Kyoko giggles.

“See.  You’re practically friends already.”

* * *

When Hana walked into her classroom the next day, Kyoko was already at her seat, apparently going over her homework, and oblivious to Hana’s presence.

“Morning?”

Kyoko jerked up, blinking fiercely before giving a nervous grin.

“Ah!  Hana, g-good morning.”

Pleasantries out of the way, Hana glanced over the work sheet, frowning at the scribbles the girl was writing down on a different piece of note paper.

“What are you doing?”

Kyoko glanced down at the notes and gave a rather depreciating chuckle.  It was an odd sound to come from the usually optimistic girl.

“Well, I was just looking at my homework, and trying to remember how I did it?  I know the answers are right, but I can’t actually remember how I figured it out…”

Which was the oddest thing Hana had ever heard, and judging from the scribbles on the notepaper, Kyoko must have been possessed when she did the work because she clearly didn’t understand whatever she was working on.  Hana wished she could have that luxury, but if Kyoko couldn’t answer in class after succeeding in homework, it would be problematic.

(Come to think of it, Kyoko sometimes had days like that in class – where her knowledge didn’t seem quite as standard – Hana had always assumed the girl had just been distracted, but maybe she had forgetful episodes like this regularly?)

The other girl sighed, and slipped into the desk beside Kyoko, glancing over the first problem.

“Okay, do you remember what the teacher said about multiplying these numbers?”

Kyoko looked in surprise, and sheepishly shook her head.  Hana rolled her eyes.

“Okay, listen up and write this down so you don’t forget again.”

* * *

At lunchtime Kyoko seemed much more relieved.  Probably because the teacher hadn’t called her in class – which was a pity considering Hana had wanted to make sure she hadn’t just wasted her time explaining the work Kyoko already knew, but at least the girl was happy.  Probably the best decision she’d made considering Kyoko was already holding out her bento in gratitude.

“You can take whatever you want Hana.  You really helped out.”

Hana was already grabbing a piece of chicken, when she freezes at the expression on Kyoko’s face. 

It’s…odd.  Kyoko has always lit up like the sun when she’s happy – nearly the entire class fawns over it, an impressive accomplishment considering it happens at least ten times a day, but this isn’t the same.  There’s more…Hana isn’t sure, but perhaps gratitude?  And genuine elation that Hana had helped, as if Kyoko wasn’t used to her doing just that every single day for the past week or two.

She pulls herself back together when the smile dims, the box in Kyoko’s hands starting to drop, and continues to select a few pieces.  Kyoko’s bento’s were always better than hers. 

“How about tomorrow’s English work?” Hana asks, trying to get back on track.  “Or have you forgotten that too?”

Kyoko just smiled.  “Don’t worry, that’s just fine.  But do you mind if we go looking for Tsuna after we eat?”

Ugh, the monkey again.  Hana just shrugged.  “Doesn’t he usually join us?  Why should we go looking?”

“Oh, today Tsuna will be playing football outside, so I wanted to go cheer him.”

Huh, so today was an ‘off’ day for Tsuna.  When he actually acted like a normal monkey, great.

Unfortunately, her reluctance went unnoticed by Kyoko, who was already dragging her out the door.

* * *

Hana blinked.  Then rubbed her eyes.  But the vision in front of her refused to fade.

Dame-Tsuna, the boy who – for the last two weeks had avoided sports like the plague and treated gym class as his own personal tailor-designed hell was running around the field trying to kick a ball.  He was utterly hopeless, having tripped no less than three times and having sent the ball flying towards the opponent’s goal, but he was smiling as if it was the best time of his life.

“Tsuna!” Kyoko called out, waving over to the boy.  He looked up, before glancing over at his team.  They were already shooing him away, the need to get rid of the klutz more important than numbers, and the boy stumbled towards them.  His uniform was dirty, and it looked like he might have grazed his knee, but the boy was utterly unapologetic, coming over and grinning at the girls.

“Afternoon Kyoko!  And Hana.  How are you?”

Hana could only stare.  She didn’t pay much attention to Tsuna, but there was just something…off about him today.  Normally the boy more or less slumped around, careful not to draw attention and clung to the slightest compliment like a dying man did to scrap of bread.  Today, his eyes were lit with almost fantastical glee.  The fact that he was playing _sports_ of all things did nothing to dissuade Hana’s feelings.

Kyoko and Tsuna, oblivious to her mental reboot, were still exchanging pleasantries, with Kyoko now scouring the field.

“Where’s brother?  I thought he liked to play when you did, you know, just in case?”

In case of what?

Tsuna just scratched his cheek.  “Oh, he was going to play, but some of the guys were complaining about me joining in and he chased them off.  But it worked out because they had the numbers to let me play after that.  I just need to make sure he doesn’t see this- “

The boy gestures to his knee.

“And it’ll be fine.”

Hana hadn’t realised Tsuna had integrated himself into Kyoko’s life so thoroughly that even her brother kept an eye on him.  She was starting to think there was a lot she didn’t know about Tsuna.

Kyoko was already nodding along.  “I’ll try to hide it too.  But how did you convince them to let you play?  Even with the numbers, they don’t really let ‘Dame-Tsuna’ take part.”

Tsuna grinned.  “I just asked them nicely.  Like I do with you.”

Kyoko sighs, looking down at the ground and Hana is just completely lost.  She half wants to stomp her feet and insist her friend start making sense again, but there’s yelling coming from the field, and Tsuna glances over, giving the two of them one last look, this time filled with concern.

“Are you sure you don’t- “

Kyoko is already shaking her head.  “If you’re happy then I’m happy.  And I’m having a really great day.”

Tsuna’s face lights up before running back to the game, stumbling once as he does so.  Hana however barely notices, because she’s still reeling.

That, was _Kyoko’s smile._

* * *

It gnaws at her for the rest of the afternoon, and classwork is left unfinished as she tries to process what happened.  Had she been more like the rest of her classmates, perhaps she wouldn’t have noticed.

But she’s not like them.  She might just be a little kid but she’s a smart little kid, who pays attention to only things that catch her interest and right now Kyoko and Tsuna are right in the bull’s eye.

Tsuna is acting…well to be honest he’s acting _like a boy._   The generic athletic and stupid energetic boy you see in cartoons, unlike his usual should-have-been-born-a-mouse-please-don’t-call-on-me self.  Kyoko on the other hand, has been surprisingly delighted at Hana’s presence in a way that just feels strange.  And their smiles…Hana has to resist slapping herself, because what she’s thinking belongs in the world of TV and video games and she’s a much more sensible person than that.

Still…

When the bell rings, Kyoko’s by her side as per usual, talking about the last class and whether they should walk into town to window shop before heading home.  It’s utterly normal, as is Tsuna waiting for them at the entrance, although he’s wearing a look of utter delight instead of resignation, and it has Hana’s hackles up.

The walk home is just as bad.  It’s harder to spot the oddities, but Tsuna definitely walks a little too confidently, especially as he’s still stumbling over his feet.  There’s no hunching or dropped head, and he’s far too eager to join in the conversation.  Tsuna doesn’t, as a rule, interact with Hana unless Kyoko is specifically pushing him.

And on that topic, Kyoko is looking at Tsuna with far too much fondness and admiration.  Hana is painfully aware that Kyoko cares about Dame-Tsuna, but right now she’s looking at him like he’s the reason the sun rises, which is just weird.  Hana actually steps back a bit, keeping them both in sight, and her suspicions just keep growing.

Now that looking at them both, it’s pretty obvious. 

“So just out of curiosity, do you two pretend to be each other regularly, or are you just trying to freak me out?”

The two of them freeze, and glance behind them in sync.  Hana has her hands akimbo, and glaring at them both.

It’s Kyoko who answers first, cocking her head in confusion but wringing her hands in distress. 

“Eh?  W-what do you mean Hana?” she asks.

“Don’t play dumb” Hana argues, relieved that _finally,_ Tsuna looks more like his frightened old self.  “You two have been acting weird all day.  I thought I was going crazy, with Dame-Tsuna playing sports and _smiling_ like that.  But you’ve been acting we’ve only just become friends and you don’t know how to do your homework and if we’re really friends you’ll tell me what’s going on!”

She didn’t mean to start yelling, but by the end of her rant her hands are clenched and she’s glaring at them both.  They’re wearing matching expressions of dismay, and that soothes part of her anger quite nicely.  Less so when they turn to each other and start talking as if she’s not there.

“I’m sorry, I really thought we were good enough to pull it off.”

“No, it’s my fault.  I should have told you not to play sports today.”

“To be fair, Hana’s really smart.  I bet she’d find it interesting?”

“We can’t keep telling everyone!”

“It’s not everyone!  It’s Hana.”

“And Hana is getting very, very annoyed!” she interrupts, drawing their attention back.  “So tell me, or I’ll just figure it out on my own and **then** tell everyone.”

Kyoko winces, and Tsuna gives her an apologetic smile.  _Kyoko’s_ apologetic smile.

“Well, since you probably won’t believe me unless I prove it…” Kyoko starts, walking up to the girl.  “Please don’t hit me for this.”

And in the next instant, Kyoko pecks her on the lips.  Hana shrieks, jerking back, only to stumble to the ground as her directions become muddled.  Above her, she can hear someone talking to her.

“Sorry!  Sorry!  I should have warned you it can be weird.  Are you okay?”

That…is **her voice**.

She’d already guessed what was going on, but still…looking up and seeing her own body look down at her apologetically, with Tsuna giving a shaky wave in the background, was a little too much for Hana to take.

All things considered, she thought fainting was perfectly understandable given the circumstances.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hana wakes up, gets an education, and things get even more complicated.

**Chapter 4**

When Hana wakes up, she’s in Tsuna’s room.  She only knows this because she’s been in Kyoko’s, and this definitely isn’t it.  Tsuna and…herself…are watching her like hawks.  She moves into a sitting position on the bed, before glaring at her body.

“Do you have to kiss me to swap back?”

Her body, Tsuna (because of course it’s Tsuna) nods.  “Yes.  I could have done it before you woke up, but I was worried you’d think it was a dream and then we’d have to do it again and I really didn’t thank that was-“

Hana-Kyoko holds up a hand to stop the rambling.  It’s rather disconcerting to hear her own voice sound so pathetic.  “Fine.  Let’s kiss and then we can talk.”

At least Tsuna is still in Hana’s body – given some time she’s certain she can handle this, but kissing a monkey on top of everything else would have been too much.  Girls in the West kiss each other all the time right?  It’s not that weird.

Except everything about this is weird, and the strange feeling she gets when she swaps from Kyoko’s body back to her own doesn’t help that fact.

Tsuna and Kyoko then choose to swap back themselves, and Tsuna’s mother comes in carrying drinks and asking them about their day.  It’s pretty clear she knows what the two of them have been doing, and she’s looking at Hana with an expression that is making the girl realise she is probably the only fully sane person in this house.

That…actually makes her feel better.  Hana’s always accepted the world is full of crazy people, it’s nice to be right.

So, the monkey’s cursed, and Kyoko found a way to turn it into a fun game.  Kyoko’s brother is aware, but not part of the regular swapping.  Tsuna likes to spend time as Kyoko because people don’t make fun of him, and Kyoko likes to be Tsuna because she gets to do things that proper Japanese girls ‘aren’t-supposed-to-do.’

No wonder Kyoko is so utterly perfect at playing the part Hana has never even tried to play.  If Hana had a substitute body where everything she did had no impact on ‘Hana’, she could totally be perfect too.  She’s actually a little jealous.

“So how did you know something was wrong?” Kyoko finally asks, once the explanation is over and the cups empty.  “Tsuna’s Mother can always tell, but my parents don’t have a clue.”

“We even fool brother, even though he knows we swap now” Tsuna adds in.

Hana smirks, leaving back on her hands.  “Well, he’s a monkey so its expected, and your parents would probably never guess this.  Sawada was too happy, and he smiled like Kyoko, while Kyoko couldn’t understand her own homework and seemed surprised I wanted to hang around her.  You think you’re doing a perfect act, but really you just don’t have anyone close who would notice how off you actually are.

Both of them look down at that, a little embarrassed.

“I guess I do go over the top when I’m in Tsuna” Kyoko admits.  “It’s just nice to play sports and not worry about getting dirty.  The boys would never let me play normally – my brother would interfere in a heartbeat.”

“I try, but I just understand things better in Kyoko’s body” Tsuna admits.  “So I take notes on her finished work so I can try and get mine done before class.  And I know you don’t like me so it was a little hard getting used to being around you.”

They both look so miserable, Hana can only sigh.  “I don’t like monkeys, but if you spend so much time in Kyoko, you’re really just half-a-monkey, and I guess I can stand that.  But you need to get your grades up and start playing more sports.  I don’t hang around idiots and if Kyoko wants to play sports you need to make it look less strange!”

Tsuna looks a little bit horrified, while Kyoko looks delighted.  Hana just smiles.

“Might as well start now.  Get out those notes and let’s look at your homework.  Kyoko, you too.”

Both are quick to comply, and Hana swears she doesn’t feel anything when she catches a glimpse of Tsuna’s grateful smile.

* * *

Hana’s goodwill only lasts about half an hour.  She knows the boy struggles but dear lord!  If Kyoko wasn’t swapping with him every other day she’s pretty certain he would been kicked out of school by now.  Which doesn’t make any sense, because he understood her notes well enough when he was in Kyoko’s body, but now he’s only making sense of about half of it.

“No, the answers 44, which you knew just 8 hours ago Sawada!  How can you be this forgetful?”

Tsuna winces.  “I’m s-sorry.  I just can’t seem to keep everything straight.”

“Here Tsuna” Kyoko interrupts, handing over her paper.  “You can look at my sheets again.”

Hana runs a hand through her hair in frustration.  It’s like trying to teach a goldfish to fetch.

“Okay, that’s my limit of patience for the day” she says once Tsuna - finally - manages to answer the last question correctly.  “I’m going home.”

Kyoko follows her, and Tsuna walks them to the door.  By the time shoes are back on their feet, the topic has changed to what they’ll be doing at the end of the week.

“My parents were talking about taking brother and I to the park for a picnic this weekend” Kyoko says.  “They said we could invite some friends – would the two of you like to come?”

Hana’s happy to agree, and Tsuna looks delighted, swinging his head in the direction of the kitchen, where his mother has been watching them in amusement.

“Mom, can I go?”

Nana smiled.

“Of course Tsu-kun.  So long as you pass your maths on Friday.”

Tsuna froze.  “Eh, pass the t-t-test?”

“Oh right” Kyoko said, nodding in memory.  “I remember the teacher talking about it.  If you can’t get at least 20% you have to attend remedial studies.”

“It was in the letter your teacher sent home with you last week” Nana reminded him.  “I think if Hana has been kind enough to help you study, you’ll be able to do a good job this time.  I know Tsu-kun can do it.”

Tsuna’s entire good mood evaporated, and the girls watched him sink into depression.  “Hiei!  I completely forgot!”

Nana, apparently oblivious to the internal despair in her son, just chuckled.  “Don’t worry Tsu-kun!  You still have a few days to study.  You can do anything if you try.”

Her son just gulped, and Kyoko gave him a sympathetic wave as they left the house.

* * *

The next few days found all three of them locked in the library, trying to create a miracle in Tsuna’s brain.  Ryohei, hearing about his friends plight, had come in to try and help, but he was barely passing class himself.  As such, come Thursday evening, Tsuna had all but given up.

“It’s no good.  I won’t be able to pass tomorrow.  I’ll have to go to remedial classes and miss the park.”

“I can swap with you to the extreme!” Ryohei insisted, and Tsuna’s face lit up, only to pause as he spotted Kyoko furiously shaking her head and waving her arms.

“Thank you Brother, but I don’t think that would work.”

“Maybe it wont be that bad” Kyoko soothes.  “You never know, you might ace the test.”

Yes, Tsuna thought.  Right after brother took a voluntary vow of silence.

He was so distraught, he didn’t spot Kyoko giving Hana a calculating look to the side.

* * *

 

The next day, he headed towards the classroom with the same aura of a man heading for the gallows.  He’d tried to study last night, but the numbers had all blurred in his head, refusing to make sense.  He wasn’t even sure he could add 2+2 right now.

His misery had even been apparent to Kyoko and Hana, who had joined him for lunch.  Kyoko had tried to coax him through a few basic revisions, while Hana had thrown insults and tried to teach him some equation shortcuts, but even they’d given up when it was clear nothing was staying in his head.

It really had been too good to be true, to think he’d get to go to the park with his friends.  Things didn’t work out that well for Dame-Tsuna.

So lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realise he was being followed until he felt the hand clamp against his shoulder and swing him round.  He blinked in surprise as he stared into the face of the scowling Hana.

“Hana?”

The girl in question just gritted her teeth.

“I want to make this clear monkey.  I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for Kyoko.”

And with that, Hana grabbed his shoulders and kissed him.  Seconds later, Tsuna-Hana jerked back and squealed.

“H-Hieee?”

Hana-Tsuna ignored him, stretching the shoulders of her new body, and grimacing at the feeling.

“Ugh, its sweaty and itchy.  This is going to be a pain.”

Tsuna-Hana gaped in incomprehension, and Hana-Tsuna sighed.

“Idiot.  I’m going the take the test for you.  That way you can come to the park and I don’t have to deal giving me that ‘disappointed’ face all day.  Now don’t do anything stupid in my body, or I’ll run into the girl’s bath naked!”

Tsuna squeaked, and nodded furiously.  Certain the threat was taken seriously, Hana-Tsuna headed towards the classroom. 

“Good.  Kyoko’s waiting for you in the girls bathroom.  If you don’t think you can fake being me, swap with her before class.  I’ll meet you afterwards.  And believe me, after the test I am going to make you study until your eyes _bleed_.”

"Hiei!"

* * *

When the final bell rang, she returned with a confused look on her face, and an exam bearing an incomprehensible 80%.  Tsuna, currently possessing Kyoko was too busy sobbing tears of joy at the number to care, until Hana dragged him into an empty classroom.

“Sawada” she hissed.  “What is _wrong_ with your body?”

He dragged his attention away from the numbers on the paper and frowned.

“Wrong?”

Hana-Tsuna threw her hands in the air.  “I tripped over thin air twice and bumped into a door I had ample time to pass!  Nobody is that clumsy.  And I fully intended to get 100% on that test, but even at my best I screwed up.  Every time I tried to focus on a question my brain filled with fog, so I ask again.  What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Hana!  Don’t yell at Tsuna.”

They both jerked up to spot Kyoko-Hana slipping into the door, frowning at her friend.  “There’s nothing wrong with Tsuna.  I thought you liked him now.”

Hana-Tsuna sighed.  “Don’t come into a conversation mid-way Kyoko.  Although…”

Her face took on a calculating expression.

“You would probably be the best person to ask.  When you borrow Tsuna’s body, how much clumsier and dumber are you?”

Kyoko-Hana blinked in surprise.

“Well...I know I trip a lot, but I thought that was just a boy thing.  And in class, it is sometimes harder to answer questions, even when I know the answer…but Tsuna doesn’t get called on a lot so I never focused on it.”

Hana turned her attention to Tsuna-Kyoko.  “And you?  Considering you takes notes of Kyoko’s homework when you’re in Kyoko’s body, I’m going to assume its easier for you.”

Tsuna looked down.  “Yes, but I just thought Kyoko was smarter than me.  I definitely understand things better in Kyoko’s body though, and I don’t trip at all.”

Hana-Tsuna nodded, and plucked the exam from Tsuna-Kyoko’s hands.  “So, clearly there is something off with you, that makes it hard to be coordinated and to think.  Which is why you’re so dame.  At least now we can do something about it.”

Tsuna-Kyoko looked up.  “Do something about it?”

Kyoko was following Hana a lot faster.  “Oh, I get it!  We just make sure Tsuna studies and does his homework in my body, and he’ll learn more.  That way when he’s in class, he’ll be able to think more because he managed to study properly.”

Hana nodded, though she was frowning – a calculating look that was completely out of place on Tsuna’s face.  “You’ll have to be careful though, since Kyoko will suffer if she does hers in your body.  Probably best if you do all the studying together so you can swap regularly.”

Kyoko was already grinning.  “And if we add you to the mix-“

Hana cut a hand through the air, silencing her friend.  “Oh no.  This was a one. Time. Thing.  I am not becoming a regular of your little swap-a-thon.  I’ll help you study Kyoko, and Tsuna when he’s in your body, but don’t expect me to do this all the time…and stop pouting it doesn’t work when you’re not in your own body!”

Kyoko-Tsuna dropped the pout and giggled sheepishly.

“Thank you.  Now come over here Sawada and swap me back.  I have enough boy cooties on me to last a lifetime.”

* * *

On Sunday, Hana is still focused on this new revelation, and when they’re all a suitable distance away from Ryohei and Kyoko’s parents, that’s all they can talk about.  Tsuna rather wishes they’d put more interest in the swing set, but Hana is driven.

“Hana, thanks for helping me with the test, but I don’t know any more than you do.  I’ve been dumb and clumsy my whole life.  I can’t tell you why it’s like that.

Hana throws a hand in the air.  “Then we test it.  Kyoko and I both found your body clumsy and difficult to think in.  How about someone who is naturally athletic?  Do you think if he borrowed your body he’d have the same problem?”

She’s already looking in Ryohei’s direction, and the older boy grins. 

“I am ready to swap to the extreme!”

Tsuna winces – at least last time Ryohei had been asleep.  Before he can utter a word of protest however, Ryohei has swung an arm around his shoulder and kissed him.  Moments later Ryohei-Tsuna is pushing him off and starting a circuit around the park.

“I will test the clumsiness to the extreme!” he hollers back, and they all wince, glancing over at the Sasagawa’s.  Thankfully, they don’t appear to have noticed the ‘extremes’ aren’t coming from their son.

They keep their eyes on Ryohei, and within minutes is becomes clear that whatever hinders them in Tsuna’s body doesn’t seem to bother the other boy at all.  His frame is awkward, but from lack of exercise rather than clumsiness, and he doesn’t trip once.  When Ryohei-Tsuna jogs back, he’s breathing hard, but lacking even one bruise.  Tsuna has never run that long without incident, and his jaw is just a little bit open at the sight.

Hana has a notebook in her hand (which has Tsuna double taking – did she always have that?), with stick figures and some kind of list next to them.  “Fighting monkey doesn’t suffer from clumsiness in Sawada’s body.  Difficult to tell if he has any trouble thinking.”

She looks up.  “Sasagawa, does your brain hurt?”

“Eh?”

The girl sighs and scores something out.  “That needs more testing.”

Kyoko giggles, and hands her brother some water to help him recover.  “Perhaps I should be borrowing brother’s body if I want to do more exercise.  That would help Tsuna from having to recover if I got hurt.”

“That is not a good idea to the extreme!” Ryohei argues.  “If you got in trouble, I wouldn’t be able to help.”

His fists clench and there are literal starts in Tsuna’s eyes.  “I will kiss Tsuna every morning and take him jogging to the extreme.  Kyoko will have a perfectly athletic body, and Tsuna will become a true man.”

“Hiei?” Tsuna-Ryohei shrieks.  “Brother, you can’t do that!”

Kyoko seems just as offended and is trying to talk her brother down.  Hana meanwhile, is fighting down a laugh.

“Why so upset Sawada?” she snickers.  “Most people would be elated if they could find a way to get in shape without doing any of the work.”

Tsuna drooped.  “But it doesn’t matter how ‘in shape’ he gets me if I still trip and stumble whenever anyone else is in the body.”

The girl frowns.  “True…I just wish I knew _why_ that happens.  It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Then we can train your instincts to the extreme!” Ryohei-Tsuna declares, fire in his eyes and pulling Tsuna to his feet.  “Come, we’ll start by running around the park.”

The girls looked impressed. 

“That’s actually not a bad idea” Hana admits.  “Maybe it’s Ryohei’s talent that makes the body less clumsy…if you train in his body maybe you can get less clumsy.  And means Ryohei isn’t slacking off while he trains you.”

“We’ll cheer for you Tsuna!” Kyoko chimes, as Tsuna is dragged off, his protesting falling on deaf ears. 

His complaints however, soon die as he starts to appreciate Sasagawa Ryohei’s body.  He’s used to physical differences, but Kyoko’s body is graceful, not athletic.  Hana – for however short a time he was in her – is the same.  So a body that can actually run and jump and do all those things Kyoko likes to do in his without causing pain or damage is…fun. 

The Sasagawa’s seem to think Tsuna acting like their son is utterly adorable, and Tsuna decides to go along with it.  He’s used to shrieking, but getting to yell at the top of his lungs and not feel publicly humiliated is new.  Plus, Kyoko and Hana haven’t been able to stop snickering so at least they’re having fun watching.

The circuit running gets a little dull after a while, but he gets why brother likes fighting and training if he feels like this most of the time.  It’s a little embarrassing – Tsuna’s definitely getting the better part of this bargain considering how woefully out of shape Tsuna is. 

Not that Ryohei seems to mind.  It takes a staggeringly long time for him to start lagging behind Tsuna, and when they do finally stop, he’s up and ready to go in minutes.  Tsuna, even in Ryohei’s body needs at least ten minutes to recover, not that his unexpected training partner is willing to give him it.

“A man does his best work when pushing his limits to the extreme!” Ryohei-Tsuna insists.  “Power through and do one more lap.  It will be an extreme way to end the day!”

Really, all Tsuna wants to do is collapse and enjoy a drink, but Kyoko is smiling and Hana is clearly enjoying his torture, so he staggers to his feet and starts running.  Ryohei-Tsuna is on his heels, panting but still keeping up, and his teeth clench. 

It’s silly, but he really doesn’t want brother to beat him.  Not when he’s using the body that can actually do this kind of exercise.  Brother doesn’t notice, keeping the pace, and Tsuna starts to gasp for air, desperate for more power to pull ahead.  He doesn’t really know how to handle his breathing, which is probably why he can’t get more, but that’s not enough to stop.

They hit the halfway point, and Sasagawa’s body finally starts feeling the burn.  It aches in his chest, his arms, his legs.  He wants to collapse, but sees the finishing line and something inside him pulls at resolve he didn’t know he had.

Ryohei is focused on the race, so doesn’t notice his body start to glow, flickering with orange flames.  Hana and Kyoko on the other hand, freeze and stare in shock as Tsuna-Ryohei suddenly bursts into action, pulling forward and shining as if he’d been set alight.  He stumbles towards them, grinning in delight, only to pause at their faces.  Ryohei comes in behind him, and gasps dramatically when he spots the glow.

“Extreme!”

That’s enough for Tsuna to take notice, and his hands jerk up as he focuses on the orange flames flickering around his arms. 

It’s more an aura that anything, light surrounding him for a brief moment before dimming away.  For a second it almost seemed tangible, like he could grab it in his hands and pull it into reality before slipping away.  The moment they vanish, he stumbles to the ground, pain back in his limbs and the loss felt more keenly than he thought possible.

“So, either Ryohei has some kind of superpower” Hana says, after a moment of silence.  “Or you’ve got more than one curse Sawada.”

Tsuna gulps.

* * *

The flames are awarded an entire five pages to Hana’s notebook, but nobody really knows what to make of them.  Tsuna decides he’ll ask his mother the first chance he gets, in case they’re somehow involved with his curse.  They also wonder about asking Kyoko and Ryohei’s parents about the flames, but the fact that Ryohei has never been able to spontaneously combust before now suggests its something Tsuna has done, not him.  Besides, this new revelation takes a back seat when it turns out there’s another side effect to swapping with the older boy.  When the Sasagawa’s are packing up and calling them back, Tsuna and Ryohei swap, and Tsuna immediately collapses to the ground.

 _Everything_ hurts.  He’s never felt so bad in his life.  The entire world solidifies into his body lying in foetal position, ignorant of the panicked voices around him.

He ends up waking up in his own bed, having been carried back by Ryohei – who is at his door with Kyoko the very next day with a look of pure agony on his face.

“I am extremely sorry!” he yells, immediately falling into a bow.  “I should have not taken your body to such extremes.”

He’s still aching in places he didn’t know he had, but Tsuna stumbles over to Ryohei with his hands up trying to placate him.  “It’s okay Brother!  If you weren’t in pain, how could you have known?  We’ll just have to be careful.”

“Are you okay Tsuna?” Kyoko asks, helping coax her brother back up.  “My parents were so worried when you collapsed.”

Tsuna nods.  “I just…hurt everywhere.  I don’t know how brother managed to keep my body moving as long as he did.”

“That’s what I extremely don’t understand” Ryohei insists.  “I was in no pain all day.  Your body worked fine to the extreme.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense brother” Kyoko insists.  “You should have felt some kind of restraint…maybe we should let you take someone else’s body and see if it happens again?”

Ryohei looks horrified.  “Kyoko!  I can’t hurt you or Hana.  That would be wrong to the extreme!”

“He’s right!” Tsuna argues.  “You might get really hurt.  I bet Hana will agree with me on this.”

“But-“

“Kyoko, it’s okay” Tsuna interrupts.  “We’ll just have to make sure brother never borrows anyone’s body to do anything…extreme, and we’ll be fine.”

Ryohei nods in agreement.  “I promise never to be so extreme using your power Sawada.  I will instead help you become extreme on your own!”

Tsuna’s muscles flinch in horror, and his face falls.

"We can start with jogging around town before school!  Follow me to the extreme!"

Before he can protest, Ryohei has a hand on his arm, and the two of them are flying down the street, Tsuna's wail echoing through the neighbourhood.

"HIEI!!!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word of warning, I'm currently working from 8-5 in a really physically demanding job. The past week it's been all I can do to shower and eat before bed. As such the next few chapters are a lot further behind than I wanted, and there might be a small delay in posting them. Apologies.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should warn you right now that I have no idea when the next chapter will be done. Lost nearly all my free time a lot quicker than expected and another idea's bitten me quite badly. Will update, but probably next month rather than next week. Thanks for sticking with me.

**Chapter 5**

Tsuna manages to make it to school despite his protesting muscles, and all of them plus Hana meet to eat lunch and go over what happened.  Much to Kyoko’s disappointment, Hana completely agrees with the boys regarding Ryohei.

“We might be able to do small short tests, but until we know why it affected you so badly long term body swapping with him is a bad idea” she warns.  “Considering you swap with Kyoko for nearly a full day without any trouble, it’s probably Ryohei-specific.”

“Maybe I’d be fine since we’re related?” Kyoko offers, and droops when everyone shakes their head.

“It’s too risky to the extreme!” Ryohei argues right back. 

“Yeah, if you want to be a boy for a day, stick with the dame” Hana says.  “What I want to know, is what those flames were.”

“They were crazy to the extreme” Ryohei agrees, and Tsuna nods his head in agreement. 

“Have you tried to do them again?” Kyoko asks.

Tsuna shakes his head.  “No, I’ve been too tired.  I’m not even sure how I did them the first time.  I was tired and exhausted, but I really wanted to beat brother...and next thing I know-“

“You’ve gone Dragonball Z on us, we know” Hana finishes.  “But if it’s too dangerous to use Ryohei, maybe we can replicate the effect in your own body or Kyoko.  Which means-“

“Exercising to the extreme!”

“Hiei?!”

* * *

Over the year, under heavy supervision, Tsuna and Ryohei swap several times to both train up Tsuna’s body and see if they can replicate the flames.  They have little to no luck, only once obtaining a tiny flicker when Tsuna’s caught off guard and nearly falls off the roof by Ryohei-Tsuna yelling in his ear.  They have no luck replicating the flame in any other body.  As for the sheer exhaustion, it continues to happen if Ryohei trains – even when holding back.  Any exercise over fifteen minutes has Tsuna flat on his back.

Eventually, after a few months with no serious incidents, Kyoko manages to convince Ryohei to let her borrow his body one afternoon instead.  It gives Tsuna some relief, and it’s less odd to see him running around.  Ryohei, not wanting to damage his little sisters reputation any more than he had the first time he’d ended up in her body, had spent most of the time on the sidelines cheering her on and doing an – admittedly badly – impression of Kyoko while Tsuna and Hana supervised.  Unlike the first swap which had been less than 30 minutes, Ryohei and Kyoko stayed in each other’s bodies for nearly three hours before swapping back, one of the longest switches for the boy…only for Kyoko to immediately collapse.

Apparently, even if Ryohei was sitting back and doing nothing, something about his mind resulted in his host body feeling as if it had run several marathons back to back if he stayed in it too long.  None of them could figure out why, and they all went with Ryohei’s theory that his mind was just too ‘extreme’ for them to handle.  Not that it stopped him from waiting on Kyoko hand and foot for nearly a week as an apology, something Hana took full advantage of.

* * *

Time passes, and Ryohei eventually leaves for Namimori Middle, and is no longer available for testing or swapping.  However, by this point Tsuna has started to – slowly – improve physically, at least to the point that his presence doesn’t guarantee failure when he joins a team, and it’s no longer a shocking thing to see him play in games at lunch or after school.  Sometimes it’s even actually Tsuna in control.

Not that it keeps the boy from hanging out with the group.  His absence actually gives them a good game – how long it takes him to figure out whose who when they meet up after school.  He’s not had the best success, but Tsuna and Kyoko like to think its because they’re getting better at playing each other.  Hana’s been great at listing their tells.

They usually meet up in the main street arcade, which has cheap food and games that children on minimal pocket money can enjoy.  Tsuna is debating whether or not to play Donkey Kong or try his luck at getting the last gashopan figure for his collection when Ryohei storms in, announcing the world that’s he’s extremely certain Tsuna is Kyoko.  He gets over the disappointment quickly, and the girls meet up with them after doing some window shopping at the nearby bakery (Kyoko cannot wait to hit middle school and actually have an allowance capable of buying the cakes on days other than her birthday). 

“So how is Namimori Middle brother?” Kyoko asks, as Ryohei eyes up a few games.

“It’s very extreme!” Ryohei answers.  “There’s a few guys who aren’t very extreme and want to cause trouble, but Hibari keeps them in line!”

“Hibari?” Tsuna asks.  “That terrifying student who beat up a teacher that one time?”

Ryohei nods.  “He’s an extreme guy.  He’s already taken over the disciplinary committee, and he’s extremely strong!  Even stronger than me.  I thought about joining, but it’s seems extremely complicated, so I thought I’d join the boxing club!”

Hana shuddered.  “I can’t believe that psycho actually got a position of authority.”

“Wasn’t he the one who knocked out that yakuza guy outside the playground last year?” Kyoko added.

Tsuna shuddered.  He’d never had any interaction with Hibari, but the stories alone were terrifying…he’d forgotten he’d been in brother’s year. 

Ryohei, oblivious to their nerves, quickly moves on and starts playing a fighting game, while Kyoko and Hana take on one of the claw machines.  Tsuna just watches Ryohei, admiring the ridiculously high score the teen manages to rack up.

The first time the guy approaches, Tsuna is distracted by Ryohei and misses what he says, but from the way Kyoko hunches up and glances aside for help, it probably wasn’t suitable for a girl as sweet and young as her.  She catches their eye and slips off, huddling up to Hana as Tsuna gets Ryohei’s attention, and the guy stalks off towards a group that must be his friends when he storms over.

They kind of look familiar, but Tsuna can’t place them. 

Ideally, that would have been the end of it, but they start stalking the group.  The second time, Ryohei really gets involved, chasing the guy away and roaring about his little sisters virtue.  It’s more embarrassing than helpful though, as the guy’s slipping back into the arcade in a matter of minutes.

The third time, Hana’s had enough, and yanks Tsuna to the side.

“Oi, Sawada, let me swap with Sasagawa.”

“Hiei?” Tsuna shrieked.  “Hana, you never want to swap!”

The girls sighs.  “I know, but those morons wont leave Kyoko alone, and they don’t give a damn about her brother’s threats.  That idiot will probably chase them out the next time, and when they give him the slip and come back we won’t have any way to get rid of them.  I on the other hand, can scare the living daylights out of them, so long as I look the part.”

Tsuna winced.  “So…you want to borrow brother and mentally scar them for life?”

Hana patted him on the shoulder.  “You’re not nearly as dumb as you think Sawada.  It’s perfect, just make sure you swap with him immediately.”

“Eh, why not just leave brother with you?  Then he can watch over Kyoko while you…do whatever you’re going to do.”

Hana laughed.  “Yeah, like I’m going to let the monkey wreck my reputation.  He can stay in you or Kyoko, he’d never do anything to hurt her, and your reputation can hardly get any worse.  I’m sure Kyoko can play me well enough, and if not you can do it.”

Tsuna blinked.  “Really?  You trust me?”

Hana shrugged.  “I’m not completely heartless.  Although it might be a weird ability, you are a very underrated actor.  Pretty certain you could fool just about everyone provided you don’t have to take an exam.”

It takes a bit to convince Ryohei, but he’s won over by the idea that if they get past Hana and get Kyoko, they’ll actually be bothering him.  Tsuna manages to keep his own body, while Kyoko ends up in Hana, Ryohei in Kyoko and Hana in Ryohei, whose already walking over to the group with a malicious smile on her face.  She ends up taking the group away, and the three of them just engross themselves in the claw machines.  Kyoko-Hana is obsessed with winning plushie’s from a recent show, and she’s well on her way to getting the full set while Ryohei-Kyoko cheers her on. 

Five minutes and a magical girl plush in hand, they realise that Hana hasn’t returned.

“She must really be tearing into them” Kyoko muses.

“I’ll go look for her” Tsuna offers, heading in the direction he’d seen Hana take the teens.  He barely turns the corner before he hears both of them yell out.

He turns so quickly that he trips over his own feet and crashes to the ground.  But his eyes catch sight of the teens pinning back the arms of Ryohei-Kyoko, yanking them up and darting for the exit.  Kyoko-Hana was lunging for them, trying to claw them away.  Ryohei is trying to bite down on the hands keeping him silent, but his sister still hasn’t grown in all her adult teeth yet and it’s not having much effect.  When they catch sight of Tsuna, one of the teens not keeping the girl pinned down breaks off and yanked Kyoko into his arms.  They all but fly out the arcade, and Tsuna stumbles to his feet and tries to follow.

It suddenly hits him as he spots them running off.  They’re older and taller, and hidden behind their newest ‘friends’, but the guy who has been bothering them is one of the guys that called Ryohei out all those years ago.  This whole ‘annoyance’ was a trap from the start.  Coax ‘Ryohei’ out and then grab Kyoko three-to-one and abduct her.  ‘Hana’ was probably just necessity.

He chases after them, but his endurance – for all it’s improved – isn’t up to chasing after teenagers.  He loses sight of them as they run past Namimori Middle, and collapses next to the gate.

Oh god, this was all his fault!  He should never have kissed anyone after Kyoko.  He should have locked himself away and never let anyone touch him.  He never should have let Hana convince him it was okay to use brother’s body, never should have let anyone talk him in to it.

Now his friends were going to get hurt, maybe even seriously, and there was nothing he could do!  He wasn’t strong like brother, or smart like Hana, or even charming like Kyoko.  There was nothing he had left.

“Herbivore…”

Tsuna’s eyes glanced up, panic attack paused at the dangerous growl.

Standing by the gate was a middle school student, but wearing a black uniform instead of Namimori Middle’s, with a red band around his arm.  Grey eyes bore down on him through black bangs, and Tsuna froze.

It was a middle school student, but wearing a black uniform instead of Namimori Middle’s, with a red band around his arm.  Grey eyes bore down on him through black bangs, and Tsuna froze.

Oh god, they'd just been speaking about him.  He knew this student.  Everyone who had ever lived in the vicinity of Namimori knew this student.  Hibari Kyoya – the demon prefect of Namimori.  Even brother had spoken about him in awe regarding his…strength.

Strength…

Unaware of the thought’s running through the boy’s head, Hibari approached, tonfa flicking into one hand.

“This is Namimori Middle” he began, eyes wandering across the small boy’s frame.  “Students of Namimori Primary are unwelcome here.  Leave, or I will bite you to death.”

Tsuna squeaked as the aura around the other boy practically shone with bloodlust.  He should flee – run away and promise never, ever to set foot on Namimori Middle’s grounds until he was of age, and yet...

He was going to die…

But if he didn’t do it, his friends might die.

What choice did he have?

He swallowed, before standing and bracing himself.

“Hibari” he began.  “I’m very, very sorry.”

And then he threw his arms around the prefect’s shoulders and kissed him hard on the lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 

Wao.

People hadn’t been exaggerating about Hibari’s strength.  This body was fantastic!

Tsuna had gotten used to an athletic body after so many swaps with brother, but Hibari was a completely different breed.  Where brother had trained his arms to a point where he felt top heavy, a powerful pressure force compared to his own, Hibari was a coiled spring, with each limb defying physical odds as the mind demanded.  What the boy had to do to maintain this kind of physique must be truly terrifying.

…And Tsuna was probably going to find out just what said physique could do just as soon as he gave the body back.

Hibari had been understandably confused when he suddenly found himself a foot shorter and lacking any kind of muscle.  Tsuna, without much way of a plan and not wanting to stay any longer than he had to, had just pushed him away and bolted, even dropping one of the tonfa’s in his haste, all the while hollering apologies and promising to return Hibari’s body as soon as possible.  Even if he’d tried to follow, Tsuna’s body would have drastically hindered the prefect.  As it was, Tsuna was only just keeping the abductors in sight.

They were heading out of town, closer to the less populated areas, filled with storage and warehouses.  A moment later they’d slipped down a corner, and Tsuna jerked to a stop as he found himself facing an empty road. 

What building?  Where did they go?

Part of him was already panicking again, but another part – a strange, foreign part was growling deep down.  His heart was starting to burn, and his eyes narrowed.  Storming over to the closet door, he kicked it open and stalked inside.  No sign of them.

Next building then.

* * *

Hibari Kyoya was confused.

He didn’t really like the feeling.

Hibari Kyoya was all about order.  Everything had its place, and its purpose.  Herbivores liked to crowd and carnivores were meant to stop them.  Hibari was a carnivore, and thus was in charge of making sure the herbivores obeyed.  After a day of patrolling Namimori Middle, he’d been on his way to discipline some more feral herbivores that had ganged up and made their home in the city centre when he’d spotted a fledgling herbivore trespassing on his territory.  He’d decided to scare the fluffy creature off, when said fluffy creature had done something…unsettling.

Hibari had fallen to the ground and watched his own body run down the street.  When he made to follow, his feet didn’t obey, and he’d crashed to the ground.  His body was soft, and squishy and…fluffy. 

Somehow, he’d become a herbivore. 

Which was inexcusable.

One of his tonfas had fallen to the ground when the thief had fled, and he stormed over to collect it.

He was going to find that herbivore.  Find him, get his body back, and make him pay for even thinking he could control any part of Hibari Kyoya.

However…

He glared at the street as if the lack of his body’s presence was somehow its fault.

There was no way to tell what way the thief had gone, or how to track him.

But his previous engagement was still waiting for him.  And no matter what he might look like, Hibari Kyoya was no herbivore. 

His eyes narrowed, his hand clenched around his weapon, and with his head held high, he stormed out of Namimori Middle and out into the street.

* * *

Hana bit down a cry as the idiots kicked her in the stomach, sending her flying into the wall.  The idiots had whacked Ryohei’s body over the head, and when she’d woken up, her arms were tied down, and they’d started their ‘education.’

To the side, she could hear Kyoko screaming and Ryohei yelling, but she refused to answer, biting on the lip.

Apparently, things hadn’t been as good at school as Ryohei had suggested.  He still had enemies from his more feral fighting days, and they’d banded together with the older teens that hadn’t liked the new threat to their territory.  Hibari was one thing – he at least was predictable, Ryohei was just a giant explosive nightmare.

So they were grabbing him and his ‘demon sister’ for good measure, and finishing what they started.

By the wall, Ryohei-Kyoko was straining at the rope bound against his wrists, but they’d come prepared after the last time, and he wasn’t moving an inch.  Kyoko had struggled, but now she was just screaming, tears falling down her face.

One of the teens came towards her, and Hana-Ryohei gritted her teeth.  The punch rocked her jaw, and she couldn’t help the cry out, unused to the feeling.  Before she could recover, the jerk had yanked her up by the collar, and started punching her face repeatedly.

“Stop it!  Just stop it!” Kyoko screamed.

“Fight me!” Ryohei yelled.  “She’s extremely not the one you want!”

The teens just laughed, and the last punch burst skin.  Hana yelped as she felt the blood trickle down the side of her face.

Dammit, Ryohei could have taken these guys without even trying.  But she’d decided to try and be smart about it, and gotten blindsided.  How was she supposed to face him? how was she going to face Kyoko?  Would her brother even have a body to go back to when they were done?

Hana was unceremoniously dumped to the ground, and out of the eye she could still see out of, she saw the jerk striding back to the group, hi fiving the next guy looking for a chunk of meat. 

He took two steps before the sound of cracking wood echoed through the room.  The second crunch had everyone looking at the barricaded door.

The final was the loudest, and sent wood flying – the door crashing against the back wall.  Black shoes stomped into the warehouse, and the teens not currently tied up paled as they took in the black uniform, tonfa and angry glare…and collectively stepped back.

“Oh crap, what the hell is Hibari doing here?”

“Hibari?” Ryohei-Kyoko yelled.  “What are you doing here to the extreme?”

The teen didn’t answer, and instead stumbled further into the room.  As he came closer, Kyoko-Hana frowned. 

She didn’t know Hibari…but he was breathing heavily, with his eyes wide, and was clutching one tonfa in a very shaky grip.  There was something just so familiar about his expression…

“…Tsuna?” she whispers, only to have her brother turn to her in shock.

“Eh?  Really?”

Tsuna-Hibari held up one tonfa, and was pretty pleased that it was only shaking a little bit.

“L-let them go.  Or I’ll uh…fight you to death!”

The teens stared at him, and Hana-Ryohei hung her head.

“Oh god, Tsuna…”

On the plus side, her tormenters weren’t paying any attention to her anymore.  They were starting to recover from the intruder’s arrival, and were starting to smirk.

“Fight you to death?”

“Did he hit his head?”

“Look how his hand’s shaking, think he snorted some drugs by gangsters he hit by accident or something?”

Tsuna-Hibari bit his lip.  “I said, let them go.”

The ringleader was already shaking his head.  “Please, that’s not Hibari, or he’s dosed to the gills.  Either way, there’s no way he’s a threat.  Take him out.”

Some were still hesitant, but two were clearly less intelligent than the others, and rushed over.  Tsuna froze…for one brief instant.

Clearly, Hibari’s body was born to fight.  The second his eyes caught sight of moving targets, his body was moving before Tsuna even registered the motion.  The tonfa found its way into one teen’s stomach, and his body spun, the other hand curved into a fist and smashing into his opponent’s nose.

It was sloppy, and nowhere near as graceful as it should have been, but the power and speed were uncanny.  Both bodies crashed to the ground, and Tsuna snapped his head to look for his next target, grinning though he couldn’t remember ever cracking even a smile.

Nobody was moving after that, and the adrenaline edge started to ebb, and Tsuna’s eyes dragged themselves away to focus on his friends.  Hana-Ryohei was covered in bruises and blood, while Kyoko-Hana and Ryohei-Kyoko were tied up and staring at him in disbelief.  He headed towards them.

“I’ll untie you now.  Let’s go.”

“Like hell you are!”

Someone behind him! 

He tried to turn round-

Only to feel a body crash into him and pin him to the floor.  A few moments later, several more bodies joined him, forcing him flat to the ground.  The tonfa went skidding across the floor.

The adrenaline was back, and Tsuna felt his breath grow ragged.  This body did not like being confined.  There was a burning in his chest, a weird pulsing feeling that felt vaguely familiar growing inside.

“Tsuna!” Kyoko-Hana yelled.  One of the teens not currently keeping Tsuna down turned to glare at her.

“What?  You got a screw loose too?”

And slapped her across the face, letting her crash to the ground.

That burning feeling in his chest exploded.

“Kyoko!”

His captors screamed as orange flame blossomed all over his body, wild and untamed.  They pulled back scorching hands as Tsuna-Hibari struggled to his feet, teeth gritted and eyes shining orange.  The tonfa lay abandoned as he lunged for his first victim.  The punch was nothing special, but powered by this new source of determination, the thug went flying.

The next was already running up behind him.  Tsuna merely leaned forward before shifting on his feet and sending one leg up in a high kick.  The teen dropped to the ground as he heard the sound of a jaw breaking.  Opponent neutralised, Tsuna turned his attention to the beaten Hana-Ryohei and the siblings sitting along the wall.  He stalked towards them, steps confident and assured, only to pause as the rest of the group recovered and came at him.

They might as well have been flies heading towards a lit match.  Five minutes later, Tsuna continued his pace, placing a hand on Hana-Ryohei’s bindings and watching them burn.  When her body dropped, he caught it and swiftly set her down before turning his attention to the Sasagawa’s and doing the same with theirs.  Once they were free, he smiled, and the flames ebbed away.

“Sawada…what the hell is that?” Ryohei-Hana whispered.

Tsuna didn’t answer.  As it was, he had just enough time to register Kyoko-Ryohei’s shocked face before everything went dark.

* * *

Hibari is halfway to his destination when he spots the patrol car.

He grimaces – for some inexplicable reason, the herbivores who are supposed to punish other herbivores take exception to Hibari doing his duty.  Many time’s he’s been out distilling punishment, the Namimori police have had the audacity to arrest _him_ as well as the criminal herbivores.  Recently, they’ve even taking to patrolling (hah) areas of unrest in the hopes of stopping him before he starts.  They’re getting frustratingly good at it.

He cannot wait until he’s old enough to control them.

The officers in question are Nobuo and Kirishima – two impressively efficient men who Hibari can, however reluctantly, admit are strong and smart enough to hold him back.  They’ve also got a sixth sense for just where he might show up.  It would be admirable if it wasn’t so annoying.

Kirishima is leaning against the car, Nobuo inside, and Hibari-Tsuna hides his one tonfa and looks for a way that won’t run into their line of sight.  There’s an alley maybe 200 metres down the road that looks like it could be a good-

“Hey, kid!”

Dammit!

He turns to glare at Kirishima, hand twitching for his tonfa.  The man is good but Hibari can generally win head to head fights so long as he finishes them before Nobuo gets out of the car.

But Kirishima isn’t glaring at him.  He’s not even signalling his partner.  Instead, he’s walking towards him and crouching down with a sickly smile on his face.

“This isn’t a good place to be young man” he says.  “There are some very bad men in the area, you’d best head back and stay safe.”

It’s such a…ridiculous spiel of words that Hibari’s brain almost shuts down.  He wants to bite Kirishima to death for insulting him in such a matter.  Doesn’t he realise who he’s…talking…to…

Hibari’s eyes flicker over to the patrol car, and makes out the blurry reflection staring back at him.

The police don’t recognise him. 

…Which means they won’t stop him.

He smiles, and points towards the street.

“I live just around that corner” he lies.  “May I please get through?”

Kirishima frowns, but shrugs and stands, plastering on that stupid fake smile.

“Well, okay kiddo” he replies.  “But make sure you head straight home.”

Hibari ignores him, and strides forward, unable to stop the smirk as he hears Kirishima lean into the window and asking his partner if he’s spotted the pre-teen-menace yet.

The handful of bystanders still on the street pale when they take in the expression on the young boys face, his mind focused only on his future target.

He’s starting to see an upside to this whole ‘body snatching’ thing…

* * *

When Tsuna wakes up, he feels a lot better than he thought he should.  In fact, most of the pain seems to focus on his arms and back-

“Tsuna!  You’re awake!”

He yelps as whoever was holding his arms up immediately drops them, and his body – apparently being dragged along the ground – is dumped to the ground, head hitting the concrete.

“Finally!” Hana-Ryohei snaps, kneeling down and yanking Tsuna-Hibari up, slinging one arm around her shoulder.  “Dragging you was taking forever.  Stay awake this time okay?”

Tsuna mumbles something, but they don’t appear to hear him.  In the time he’s been unconscious, Hana and the Sasagawa’s have managed to make it out of the abandoned street he’d found them in, and were starting to make their way back into town.  Judging from the pain in his back and the scuff marks in the street, they’d been dragging him most of the way. 

“Why didn’t you just swap with me and put me in an easier body?” Tsuna finally asks, curious that they’d not make life easier for themselves.  Although he’s also surprised that Ryohei hasn’t taken the chance to get his own body back for the girls.

“I extremely wanted to but-“ Ryohei-Kyoko starts, only to be interrupted by Hana.

“Are you kidding?” she snaps.  “Look at yourself, you’re all banged up.  You get yourself that damaged and you can handle the pain until you find the real Hibari.”

Tsuna turns and stares at the girl.  Ryohei’s face is tight and angry, but there’s an emotion in her eyes that Tsuna knows all too well.

Guilt.

She looks away, and yanks him forward.  He yelps, though more out of habit than it actually hurting.  Hibari’s body is insane, ten minutes of sleep after hitting pure exhaustion and he’s halfway to full power already. 

“We’re almost to Namimori Middle Tsuna” Kyoko-Hana pipes up, bringing him back to the present.  “Brother thought that if you borrowed Hibari’s body, you must have been at the school.”

Tsuna nods.  “Yeah.  I ran into him at the gates.”

“Good” Hana replies.  “We’ll go in, grab him from wherever you stashed him, swap back and get out before he has time to ask questions.  If we’re really lucky he’ll just brush this whole thing off as a bad dream.”

A foreboding feeling started to throb in Tsuna’s stomach.

“Uh…stashed him?”

Hana-Ryohei stops moving, and turns to glare at Tsuna.  Kyoko-Hana and Ryohei-Kyoko also turn, worry on their faces.

“Sawada…you **did** make sure Hibari couldn’t go anywhere with your body, right?”

Tsuna swallows.  “Uh…”

Hana throws off his arm and lets him stumble to his feet.

 “Seriously Sawada?  You left that crazy guy with your body and didn’t make sure he’d be where you left him?”

“I panicked!” he yelps.  “I couldn’t keep up with those guys and needed someone strong and he was just…there!  I didn’t have time to think about it!”

“Oh god…” Hana groans.  “What if he called the police?  Or even worse, tried to fight someone?”

“I don’t think he’d call the police” Kyoko tries to comfort.  “How would he explain it?  If he didn’t follow Tsuna, surely he’d stay right where he was?”

“I don’t know, Hibari’s an extreme guy” Ryohei argues.  “He’d definitely want to patrol or fight to the extreme.”

Hana looked like she wanted to bash her head against the wall.  “We’re going to be picking up pieces of Tsuna for months…”

“L-let’s just get to the school!” Tsuna insists, finding his footing and heading towards the building in the distance.  “Maybe we’re worrying over nothing and he’ll still be waiting there?”

* * *

He wasn’t waiting there.

Tsuna kind of wanted to cry.

“Well that’s just perfect!” Hana-Ryohei snapped.  “There’s no telling where he’s gone!  What do we do?  Walk around town and look for the nearest explosion?”

“H-He has to come back at some time right?” Kyoko-Hana murmured.  “I mean, it’s not like he’ll **want** to stay in Tsuna forever.  Maybe if we just wait?”

“That’s not okay to the extreme!” Ryohei-Kyoko yelled.  “We must find and return Hibari to the extreme!  I will not rest until he has been found!”

“Don’t even think about it!” Hana warns.  “The last thing we need right now is to get separated again.”

“Then what should we do to the extreme?”

“Herbivores…”

As one, they freeze, and slowly turn their heads, eyes widening at the sight.

His uniform is in tatters, there’s blood dripping from every limb, one hand clenches a badly damaged tonfa, while one eye appears sealed shut.  His hair is smoking, and some of the edges appeared charred, yet the grin is of complete victory.

Tsuna has never looked less like Tsuna.  But then they’d be hard pressed to find someone as different from Tsuna as Hibari.

The one still functioning eye narrows in on them, and the smile becomes almost feral.

“Return my body herbivores.  We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 'completely' back, but I've got at about a third of the next 3 chapters written and actually have something resembling a plot skeleton to work with now, so feel comfortable posting this chapter. Was gonna be a lot longer, but Hibari does not like being told what to do even in fanfiction...


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

While Tsuna had been taking out Ryohei’s assailants, Hibari had arrived at his chosen destination.

The yakuza thugs didn’t know what to make of the small pre-teen that bursts through their door, and the first instinct is laughter.

Hibari makes them regret this almost instantly.

This body is not built for fighting.  That was recognisable from the start – but there’s something about it that screams potential.  Like a dog leashed and muzzled for so long it’s forgotten it has legs and teeth.  It’s clumsy and awkward, and he doesn’t know always calculate the range properly, but if there’s something Hibari loves more than a _really_ hard fight, he’s yet to find it.  This body is enough of a handicap to make something dull and necessary into something _exhilarating._

He barely registers the injuries he receives, just counts the bodies and storms further into the building.  The adrenaline is clearly going to his head, as the hand holding his one remaining tonfa almost appears to be glowing – the weapon shimmering with purple flame. 

Apparently, adrenaline must be going to his opponent’s head as well.  They’ve gotten their hands on explosives, and finds him under attack by Molotov cocktails.  They come perilously close to hitting him – this body has a lot more hair and he doesn’t duck well enough to avoid it completely while tripping over his feet, but the building still takes more damage than he does.

His opponents clearly don’t know how to take it; half the time they’re just staring in shock while their friends are crushed into the ground.  It’s helpful, gives him time to figure out how to move.  In the end, he only gets one serious injury.  When finishing off the boss – his main target for the day, he underestimates the man’s strength compared to his own endurance, and the man slams his elbow into his eye.  His body doesn’t have any experience in handling this kind of damage, and it takes him a horrifically human time to recover.  Time the herbivore uses to smash him into the ground and try to knock him out.  He fails, and gets a tonfa to the neck in punishment.  When he finally falls, Hibari struggles to his feet, panting heavily.

It took twice as long as he expected, the building is no longer structurally sound, and he can hear police sirens in the distance, but his prey are down and Hibari has proven that regardless of his body, he is no herbivore.

Now, he just needs to avoid the sirens heading this way and get back to Namimori Middle.  The herbivore had said he would return, and Hibari intends to be there. 

And bite him to death for stealing what belongs to a carnivore.

 

…At least, that had been the plan.  Before he’d seen the damage his body had taken, and the herbivores crowding it.

Biting him to death would be pointless.  Hibari would only be damaging his own body, and right now, the herbivore’s own body was in such bad shape he’s not sure it would survive Hibari’s discipline.  Besides, the way the other herbivores are acting (the frustrating boxer has not said ‘extreme’ once in nearly 3 minutes, while one of the girls hasn’t stopped), suggests he’s not the only one not feeling himself.

No, he won’t bite him to death.  So long as he explains exactly why he shouldn’t.

* * *

Before Tsuna can make his way over to try and fix all this, Hibari-Tsuna has turned away, walking towards the school.  They follow with little choice, and eventually find themselves inside a meeting room.  Once the Sasagawas and Hana are seated, Tsuna turns to find Hibari glaring at him, brandishing a tonfa.

“You will undo this now.”

Tsuna squeaks, and nods furiously, before darting in and kissing the prefect.  The teen feels the change instantly, his hand pushing against Tsuna’s chest and all but throwing the boy across the room.  Tsuna howls, both from the act, and also from the damage Hibari has apparently inflicted on his body – even Ryohei at his worst hadn’t left him feeling like this!

Hibari seemed rather upset at the state of his in return, from the way he’s flexing his hands and stretching his legs.

“You pulled muscles herbivore.”

Tsuna gulped.

“You have no room to complain” Hana-Ryohei warns, glaring between the two.  “I’m surprised Tsuna doesn’t have broken bones!”

“Hn.  Explain to me what you did.”

Hana’s still glaring at the prefect, but Tsuna slips between her and Hibari and starts stuttering out an explanation.  Hibari’s expression remains almost completely poker face throughout the story, though when he spots Tsuna starting to look dizzy on his feet, he takes in the group and walks towards the desk.  He opens a drawer and tosses a first aid kit at Kyoko-Ryohei before sitting down, prompting the rest of them to sit opposite him.

While Kyoko and Hana tend to everyone’s injuries, Tsuna tells Hibari about Ryohei’s enemies – the first fight and then the ambush that needed a heavy hitter.  Hibari has crossed his arms and legs, but his eyes have barely left Tsuna’s face.  It’s extremely unnerving.  Especially when he finally trails off and Hibari doesn’t react.  Just keeps staring until both Sasagawa’s are fidgeting and Hana’s fists start twitching.

Finally, he smirked and got to his feet. 

“I will make you a deal herbivore” he started.  “In exchange for borrowing my body, you will in turn allow me to borrow yours whenever required.  You will also follow a training program that I provide.”

Everyone’s eyes widened.

“Excuse me?”

“I extremely did not expect that!”

“N-Nani?”

Hibari glares at them.  “You will train, and I swap with me whenever I ask.  If you do not, I will bite you to death, and when you arrive at Namimori Middle, you will be punished for imitating Namimori students.”

“Hiei!” Tsuna shrieked.  “I-imitating students?”

“Technically, when you and Kyoko swap, you’re pretending to be each other” Hana explains, her eyes narrowed.  “Though I think he’s being rather high and mighty considering he wants to break the rules too.”

Hibari’s eyes narrowed at the girl.

“The small animal’s ability can help me protect Namimori more efficiently.  It is not ‘breaking the rules,’ it is utilising the tools available.”

His hands were reaching for his tonfa, and Tsuna jumped up, desperate to get attention back to him.

“I agree Hibari!” he yelps.  “You can borrow my body whenever you want.”

The Sasagawa’s and Hana all jerked and turned to him in shock.

“Tsuna!”

“You can’t be serious!”

“Extreme!”

Hibari meanwhile, just smiled and relaxed back onto the couch.

“Hn, good.  I will drop off your instructions on my next patrol.  Now get out of Namimori Middle or I will bite you to death.”

* * *

“Well, that could have gone a lot worse” Kyoko-Hana offers, once they’re out of the Middle School grounds.  Hana-Ryohei is struggling with their injuries, so Kyoko and Ryohei are helping support Tsuna.  Hibari hadn’t left his body in great condition – walking is very much a challenge right now.

“It extremely worked out for the best!” Ryohei-Kyoko agrees.  Hana-Ryohei just stares at them in disbelief.

“Are you kidding?  Sawada’s now at the beck and call of that maniac until the end of time.  How is this a good thing?”

“They’re not entirely wrong” Tsuna defends.  “I mean, if Hibari is borrowing my body, it means we’ve got another one for me to train and study in right?  One with no exhaustion issues after use?”

Hana falters at that, and just turns away.  Tsuna sighs, and tries to turn to the next order of business.

“W-well, since everyone’s safe now, let’s find somewhere private and switch back.  Brother needs to go to the hospital.”

Ryohei-Kyoko grinned.  “Great.  Swap with me first!  Hana shouldn’t suffer any more to the extreme!”

Hana tensed up.  “Actually…I’m okay staying like this for a little while longer.  Why don’t I handle the hospital, you can just relax at home.”

They all frowned. 

“Longer?” Kyoko asks.  “Hana, my parents won’t let brother out of their site for days after this!  It could be days before everyone can switch back.  And there’s no way brother will be able to fool my parents, or yours.”

“Well…maybe it’ll be good practice for him” she argues back, refusing to meet their eyes.  Ryohei cocks his head, trying to make the pieces fit.

“Hana, do you not want to swap back to the extreme?”

“Just…not right now.”

“Hana, you shouldn’t be the one going to the hospital to the extreme!”

“Well neither should you Hana” Tsuna argues. 

“It’s my body” Ryohei argues.  “Why won’t you let me endure it to the extreme?”

“Because it was my fault!” she yells.

Everyone’s eyes widen, and Hana kicks a wall in frustration.

“I was an idiot” she snaps.  “I thought I could handle a few teenage idiots because Sasagawa is strong and I’m smart and nobody would ever hurt me.  If I’d just let Ryohei handle it, he could have fought them off and we’d all have been fine.”

“Hana, you extremely don’t know that” Ryohei insists.  “They were tough guys to the extreme.  If they failed they’d just have tried again- “

“But they didn’t fail!” Hana interrupts.  “Because of me they succeeded, and now everyone’s hurt, that demon monkey knows about Tsuna, and you now have this!-“

She slaps a hand against the bleeding wound on the side of her face.  Even under Kyoko’s makeshift patch job, it’s not hard to see it’s going to scar. 

“You could have stopped them, but because of me, you couldn’t, and everyone is going to see that every, single, day!”

Kyoko is sniffling, and Tsuna looks away. 

He hates this.  It’s not like it’s never occurred to him that he could get a borrowed body injured, but this is the first time their bodies have been damaged in a permanent way.  It’s almost worse that it wasn’t him that did it – he’s the one that kept swapping.

However, they’re all pulled out of their misery by the sound of laughter – Ryohei’s.  It’s always a little unnerving to hear him when he’s using his sisters voice, and Hana’s staring at him as if he’s gone crazy.

“You’re a good friend to the extreme Hana!” he insists.  “I don’t care about that scar!  Scars are a warrior’s pride.”

“But **you** didn’t get this scar!” Hana splutters, and Ryohei just stares at her.

“I’d rather bear it than you or Kyoko” he insists.  “I couldn’t get rid of our enemies to the extreme.  You took my body because you thought you could handle the situation better than me.  We both made mistakes to the extreme.  But you extremely aren’t to blame.”

“H-he’s right Hana” Tsuna insists, breaking into the conversation.  “I mean, I’m the one who can swap.  If you’re to blame, then I’m to blame even more since it’s my power that let us do it in the first place.”

“And mine!” Kyoko pipes up too.  “Tsuna never wanted to swap again after the first time!  I’m the one that convinced him to do it.  If you’re to blame, we’re all to blame!”

Hana is staring at them in shock, a shiny quality starting to appear in her eyes.  Tsuna really hopes she isn’t going to cry, because Hana doesn’t cry in public and that might actually be the most terrifying thing that has happened all day.  Ryohei-Kyoko however, just walks over and claps his hands on her shoulders.

“I’m extremely proud to let you use my body any time Kurokawa Hana.  You did nothing wrong to the extreme.”

There’s a sniffle, and a not so subtle rubbing of the eyes.  But when she faces them again, Hana-Ryohei is smiling.

“Maybe you’re not such a monkey after all Sasagawa.”

* * *

Once Hana and the Sasagawa’s were back in their original bodies, Ryohei powered through his own pain and carried Tsuna home.  The three of them offered to stay and help explain to Nana exactly what had happened, but Tsuna shooed them away, insisting that Ryohei get to the hospital as soon as possible.  His mother had been really good on not asking about how much he was using his ability, but explaining his current state was something he should do on his own.  Ryohei was going to have enough trouble explaining his injuries to his own parents as it was.

It started about how he expected.  Nana had been shocked, and rushed to sit him down and fix him up.  She’d wanted to know what had happened – she’d seen Tsuna after Ryohei had done his worst before and this was a completely different level.  So Tsuna told her about the teenagers.  About the arcade and switching Hana and Ryohei.  The trap and running into Hibari.

He knew he’d done something wrong when he told her about taking Hibari’s body, and her hands froze mid-way through a bandage.  A few moments later, she continued to wrap his arm, but kept her eyes lowered and asked him to continue.

She said nothing when he told her about finding the teenagers, or rescuing his friends.  When he mentioned the flames her head jerked up for a moment, but there was nothing but confusion in her eyes, and she stayed silent until he finished his tale – finding Hibari and creating the deal to swap bodies with him whenever he wanted.

A dead weight began to fill Tsuna’s stomach as Nana continued to patch him up, saying nothing.  Normally his mother would fill the silence with empty chatter, but her eyes looked dim – as if Tsuna had committed some terrible act, and he didn’t know what.

It wasn’t until all his injuries were bound, and the first aid box put away that Nana sat on the chair next to him, and brushed one hand against his cheek.

“Tsuna, do you remember when I told you about your ancestor?”

He frowned in confusion, but nodded.

“He was cursed, and the very first time he swapped, he lost his body forever” Nana tells him.  “If it hadn’t been for the man that saved him, he would have died in the streets with nothing, not even his name, with everyone thinking he was crazy.

You have a very special gift Tsuna, but you have to think about the people you use it on” she explains.  “If the person you swap with doesn’t know what you’re going to do, that’s stealing.”

“But it wasn’t!” Tsuna insists, desperate to make her understand.  “I only borrowed Hibari’s body, I was never going to- “

“Did Hibari know that?” Nana interrupts, silencing him.  “You were very lucky Tsu-kun, that Hibari was so good about it all.  What would you have done if he hadn’t been?  Or worse – what would have happened if he’d died in your body?  Or you in his?”

Tsuna froze. 

It was true, Ryohei’s scar was the first time they’d ever had a permanent injury, but he’d never thought of…worse. 

And Hibari liked to fight.  Against really, really, dangerous people.

Nana smiled, relieved her point had gotten through.  “You are lucky; all your important people know about your gift.  That means you’re in a very special place - you could swap with someone forever, and not have to give up your old life.  But only if the person you swap with understands that.”

Tsuna nods.  “I’m sorry Mama” he says.  “I never even thought about that.”

She smiles and hugs him.  “I know Tsu-kun.  Just remember – what you have is a gift, but you must have permission, or you will be nothing but a monster.  And my Tsu-kun is not a monster.”

* * *

Any hopes Tsuna had of letting Ryohei handle the ‘training’ part of the agreement with Hibari were quickly dashed.  Ryohei had to train his own body during school hours, and during the weekend, Hibari started to change his patrols to include Tsuna’s home and the local parks.  If he found Tsuna relaxing in someone else’s body, that body got ‘bitten to death’ as punishment.  Apparently Hibari didn’t believe in ‘cheating.’

That said, if he found Tsuna in Tsuna’s body and was ‘unhappy’ with the level of training, he started fighting Tsuna until he collapsed.  There really wasn’t much in the way of a win.

At least not until Ryohei spotted Hibari beating up Kyoko’s body on one of their scheduled swap days and went berserker on the prefect.  He didn’t exactly win, but it did impress on Hibari that it wasn’t _just_ Tsuna he could swap with.

A few meetings with Hana mediating, and Hibari, delighted at this new avenue of camouflage is given the option of borrowing either Tsuna or Ryohei, so long as Hana is left in control of _his_ body – at least until Tsuna learns how to portray him better.  Hana dislikes spending so much time as a ‘violent monkey,’ but she _does_ like the power that comes with the position – and quite frankly, of the group she is the only one that can pull off the same level of terrifying that Hibari can.

(On that note, Hibari has warned Tsuna that neither Sasagawa is allowed to be in control of his body _under any circumstance._ Ryohei is fairly self-explanatory, while Kyoko…let’s just say Hibari with puppy eyes is something _all_ of them are still trying to forget).

It does however, mean that Tsuna now has to get better at playing Hana and Ryohei as well as Kyoko.  Thanks to the exhaustion issue with Ryohei, they can only ever risk him being in Tsuna – the boxer flat out refuses to risk Kyoko, and Tsuna completely agrees, whether the girl in question does or not.  She usually lets her displeasure be known when hiding as Hana, since _Kyoko_ would never be so insulting to Tsuna or her brother. 

However, with the exception of the increase in swaps, and Tsuna wanting home exhausted and battered, very little changed with Hibari in on the secret.  With him at Namimori Middle and the others still 2 years away, their normal routine remained more or less the same.  Hana’s smart enough to handle Hibari’s schedule, while Ryohei, isn’t academically gifted and Tsuna can bluff his way through the day.  When Hibari isn’t using him, Tsuna and Kyoko often spent at least half the week as each other, and with Hana’s help started to brush away the obvious tells and flaws in their performances.  It’s affecting their actual personalities – Tsuna’s a lot less panicked and calmer from periods in Kyoko, while Kyoko has become a little more outspoken – Hana approves apparently. 

Tsuna’s also started trying to tame his hair after Kyoko took half a dozen products to it over a weekend just to see what would happen and ended up looking a lot like Tsuna’s mother.  She spent the entire day in one of her own dresses and masquerading as Tsuna’s ‘cousin’ while Tsuna endured a training session with her brother to improve her fitness (apparently Ryohei was willing to justify Kyoko getting into shape so long as it wasn’t _Kyoko_ doing the work).  His reward at least was clearing out a good month of Kyoko’s pocket money at the opening of a new bakery (sugar actually did taste better with a girls taste buds, who knew?).  He’s never managed to fully replicate her effect, but there is a definite air of control in the birds nest nowadays.  Hana even bought him hair clips for his next birthday, and even though he’s 80% sure they were a joke, he takes to wearing them anyway. 

Whether it’s Kyoko’s influence or his own, he gets surprisingly little flak for it.

By the time they reach their final year and get ready to head to Namimori Middle, the effects are more than impressive.  Tsuna’s acting ability has skyrocketed with the number of trades he’s had to do – even Hibari doesn’t mind leaving him in control now.  His skill as Kyoko, Ryohei and Hana is close to perfect – a lot of his time his friends actually struggle to tell who’s who, and Kyoko’s not far behind him.  Although she’s never in Hibari, she’s managed to unnerve her brother a few times at just how spot on she can play Ryohei.  Hana insists she’s still too sweet to play her, but Tsuna’s had to toss a coin a few times.  Kyoko’s gotten _sneaky._

There’s only one real downside.  He spends so much time trying to be everyone else, there’s not really much time to be himself.  It’s actually getting to the point where he’s not entirely sure who ‘he’ is.  Kyoko is a picture perfect Japanese girl with a strong adoration for baked goods, Hana is an intelligent ball of sass who will probably rule the world one day, Ryohei is an exuberant boxer, Hibari is battle-crazy warlord, and Tsuna is…the guy they swap with whenever they want a break from being those people.  They never asked it of him, but he’s never really established a personality – when Hana made it clear how easy it was to tell him and Kyoko apart, he focused more on reducing his character so he could focus on getting Kyoko right. 

He’s not even ‘Dame-Tsuna’ anymore.  Thanks to Brother and Hibari, his tripping and fumbling – although still a thing – only happen once a day at best, and Hana has dragged his grades up through sheer force.  Now if you were to ask his classmates what he was known for, they’d probably have to think just to remember who Tsuna actually _was._   Average in sports, average in grades, not part of any clubs, and no hobbies outside of people watching.  After spending years learning to mimic other personalities, he was very good at observing people and imitating their reactions.  His intuition was second to none, almost capable of predicting people’s movements before they did – he was getting eerily good at it.

He sighs and brushes those feelings away as he adjusts the tie on his new Namimori Middle uniform.  Perhaps he’s more a blank slate than he thought he’d be at this age, but it’s still so much better than the alternative.  No reputation is definitely better than a bad reputation, and he doesn’t just have Kyoko, he has Brother and Hana, and…sort of Hibari, he guesses.

It’s not perfect, but he’s happy, and not everyone can say that.  Besides, without some kind of gigantic shift in his life, he doubts anything could really make it any better.

About a month later, a baby in a suit boards a plane to Namimori.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's heeeerrrreeeee....
> 
> I admit, I had a lot of other plans for Tsuna and the others growing up, but they just weren't coming to me, so I decided to fuse the next two chapters together and get to what people actually want to see - Reborn handling the chaos that is Tsuna and his merry band of switcheroos. Might hold off on releasing the next chapter until September just to give myself some buffer time to write more chapters though.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

If Tsuna is honest, there really isn’t much difference going from elementary to middle school.  Dame Tsuna has vanished into childhood stories, and he’s settling into ‘invisible Tsuna’ instead…although everyone is reminded of his existence whenever the Disciplinary Chairman shows up and drags him out of the class. 

Hibari is now on site, and he makes it clear that Tsuna will be providing his body at least once a month in addition to Ryohei.  However, he also doesn’t mind Tsuna and his group hanging out on the roof on a regular basis, so it’s a pretty decent trade-off. 

Kyoko, to nobody’s surprise, quickly ascended to the ranks of school idol.  The story of the Amazonian warrior princess has become little more than an urban myth – something only a friend of a friend actually heard, and confides to Tsuna that if she didn’t get to escape every now and then, she’d probably go crazy.  Far too many people wanting a piece of her without actually getting to know her.  Hana has managed to find a balance between them, predominantly known as ‘Kyoko’s friend’ – which is exactly how she likes it.  Everyone underestimates her, and she can perform riot control for her best friend. 

So, Tsuna is invisible, Kyoko is popular, and Hana is a budding power-behind-the-throne.  It’s a pretty functional set up with Hibari and Ryohei popping in to add a chunk of random chaos.  However, during his people watching in class, someone has caught Tsuna’s eye. 

His name is Yamamoto Takeshi.  The rising star of the baseball team, and the number one crush for most females in year one. 

He’s athletic, attractive and popular.  On the surface, the male equivalent of Kyoko, but Tsuna’s seen Kyoko handle her hoard of admirers – Yamamoto is doing exactly the same, just with laughter instead of smiles.   

But unlike Kyoko, Yamamoto never stops.  Tsuna’s been watching, and _nobody_ at school actually gets to see the real Yamamoto.  Maybe even Yamamoto doesn’t get to see the real Yamamoto. 

It’s dumb and stupid, but Tsuna can’t help but think Yamamoto could really use a day where he _didn’t have to be_ Yamamoto Takeshi.  His instincts are screaming that he’s a good guy who could just use a break. 

Tsuna brings it up one day at lunch, after Ryohei is finished regaling his most recent match up in the boxing club.  It’s been a long time since they brought someone else into the fold, but it’s not just his choice anymore.  He needs at least two of his friends to agree with bringing in the lonely baseball fan. 

Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. 

“No” Hana insists.  “No, no, no, no, no.” 

Kyoko just shakes her head.  “Tsuna, I know you want to help, but you barely know Yamamoto.” 

“That’s the thing” Tsuna argues.  “He just looks so sad, I thought maybe I could offer to- “ 

“Don’t even finish that sentence Sawada” Hana snapped, swiping her hand through the air.  “There are already enough monkey’s in this group.” 

“But Hana…” 

“I think it’s a good idea to the extreme!” Ryohei insisted.  “Yamamoto looks like an extreme guy.  We should help extreme men in need!” 

“Hana does have a point brother” Kyoko warned, trying to calm her brother down.  “Tsuna’s supposed to be keeping his power secret.  If he kisses Yamamoto, then Yamamoto will know forever.  It’s one thing for all of us to know, we’ve been friends for years and Hibari can keep a secret, but Yamamoto might tell someone and then Tsuna could get in trouble.  Even if he doesn’t – we started swapping as kids, when we didn’t really understand the importance of kissing someone, there’s no telling how he might react to it.” 

Tsuna drooped.  The girls weren’t wrong.  It’s not as if he knows Yamamoto would even agree.  He might freak out or attack him for it.  It’s not like ‘because he feels like a good guy’ is a valid argument – even for him. 

Ryohei pouts, although doesn’t argue his point.  In this Tsuna thinks Hibari might actually agree with the boxer – even with all his training, Tsuna is still pretty weak and the authorities are starting to recognise Ryohei after too many swaps.  The prefect would probably highly endorse another athlete joining the body switching club.  Probably best they don’t ask him. 

“speaking of popular athletes and ‘kissing’” Hana says, choosing to change the subject, “how are you handling your latest stalker Kyoko?” 

Kyoko groans.   

“Uh, don’t even mention Mochida!  I don’t know what else to do!  I’ve said no a dozen times but Mochida just doesn’t seem to hear it.” 

“Not to mention all those whining banshees in our class squealing in your ear about it being _so romantic_ and asking why you’re playing hard to get” Hana mutters.  “I swear I’m gonna stab someone if they don’t shut up about it soon.” 

“Why don’t you just be upfront and tell him you’re just not into him?” Tsuna asks, and Kyoko looks down.” 

“I know I should, but every time he asks there’s always a crowd.  It feels like I’d be humiliating him.  I mean, saying that I’m not looking for a boyfriend or that I’m busy should be enough!  Don’t boys know that means we’re not interested but we don’t want to be cruel about it?” 

“Kyoko is too kind to the extreme!” Ryohei adds.  “A real man would accept her refusal to the extreme!” 

Hana gives him a mock salute.  “Well said Sasagawa.  I’ll even add an ‘extreme’ myself.” 

Tsuna chuckled.  “Well, tomorrow we’ll swap and I’ll try to handle it.” 

“Ah, but Mochida is always waiting for Kyoko at the gate” Hana warns.  “And if anyone sees you and Tsuna kissing on the way to school Mochida will go straight for Tsuna.” 

“Hey!” Tsuna snaps.  “We never swap in public!” 

“Yeah!” Kyoko insists.  “We’re not that stupid, we always find somewhere private unless it’s an emergency.” 

Hana holds up her hands in defence.  “Okay, but still he’ll be looking for you, so you’ll need to swap really early.” 

Tsuna and Kyoko turn to look at each other, and smile. 

“Today, after school?” Tsuna offers. 

“Sure!” Kyoko replies with a smile.  “Your mother makes sukiyaki tonight right?  I can’t wait.” 

Tsuna grins.  “Great.  Then I can get my homework and studying for the week done tonight.  Keep Mochida away and walk me home Brother?” 

Ryohei punches the air.  “I will help to the extreme!” 

* * *

“I’m home!” 

“Welcome home Tsu…oh sorry, welcome Kyoko!” 

Kyoko-Tsuna chuckled and scratched the back of her head.  “How can you always tell Maman?” 

Nana just smiled.  “Don’t be silly, a mother always knows Kyoko.  Are you staying the night?” 

Kyoko nods.  “Tsuna’s helping me with a problem at school.  We’ll swap back tomorrow.” 

“Ah, I’m glad my Tsuna’s become so responsible!  I’ll call you for dinner if you want to start working on your homework.” 

Kyoko grinned and headed up the stairs.  One day, she wanted to be as easy going as Nana was.  “Thank you Maman”  

* * *

The next morning, Nana busied herself with breakfast and preparing two bentos so Kyoko could take one for her son too.  Tsuna really was so lucky to have found someone like Kyoko, Nana thought.  She’d always been a little envious of her father and brother’s ability.  He only ever let her swap with him once a year as a special treat.  It wasn’t good to get used to something like that when you were young.  He'd said he could swap with her brother if he wanted to, but he'd always been so awkward about the curse, Nana had never gotten permission.  But Tsuna was completely different. He had friends his age, who were perfectly at peace with his ability and happy to share.  Ah, maybe if Tsuna and Kyoko married, it would be Tsuna in the wedding dress and Kyoko in the suit.  That would be such a funny story to tell the grandchildren! 

Although…sometimes she wondered if Tsuna liked being someone else a little too much.  Between Kyoko and Hibari – the swaps she knew about, her son spent precious little time as himself.  That could be a problem…after all, if Tsuna decided he wanted to be someone else, he had the power to do it.  But what if the person he swapped with didn’t want to? 

Surely Tsuna wouldn’t swap…but it would be such a relief if Tsuna liked being himself as much as he liked being other people.  If only she had a way to encourage him more. 

She left the stove and headed out to get the newspaper.  However, there was something else in the mail box… 

‘ _We’ll raise your child to be the leader of the next generation’_  

Nana’s face lit up. 

This is perfect! 

* * *

“A tutor?” 

Nana grinned while Kyoko cocked her head.  “Yes!  I know you and Hana have helped tutor Tsuna for a long time, but this tutor could give him confidence and skills for the future.” 

“I have to admit; Hana might like it if she didn’t have to spend so much time helping us” Kyoko admitted.  “But I don’t think it was such a good idea to call him without telling Tsuna first.” 

“Oh I’m sure he won’t mind” Nana insists.  “He’s arriving this morning, so would you mind pretending to be Tsuna until you can swap back?  I don’t want to confuse him.” 

The doorbell rang, and Kyoko glanced over, before turning back and nodding.   

“Okay, that’s no problem.  But you have to explain it to Tsuna.  I had nothing to do with it.” 

Nana laughed.  “Of course.” 

Kyoko-Tsuna nodded, and went to answer the door, only to frown when she saw nobody there. 

“Hello?” 

“Ciaossu.” 

She looked down, eyes widening as she took in the baby in the suit. 

 _‘Ah!  He’s so cute!’_  

Forcing down the instinctive reaction, she frowned in confusion. 

“Are you lost little boy?” 

“I’m the home tutor, Reborn.” 

 _‘So…cute!’_  

Caught off guard, Kyoko burst into a grin. 

“Oh!  You must be some kind of prodigy.  That’s so cool!” 

 _‘Oops…Tsuna would never be that delighted.’_  

“Tsuna, is it the tutor?” 

Kyoko-Tsuna turned around. 

“Yes.  But he’s a baby.” 

Nana came to the door, and gasped. 

“Ah, hello little boy.  Are you lost?” 

Kyoko smothered the chuckle.  She and Nana did think so alike sometimes.   

“I am Reborn, the home tutor.” 

Kyoko ignored him, turning to Nana. 

“I have to go to school Maman.  I’ll see you and…Reborn?  After school.” 

“Okay Tsuna.  Have a good day!” 

Kyoko-Tsuna waved goodbye as she ran through the gate, shaking her head in amusement.  Tsuna was never going to believe this.  Hana would go nuts, she hated babies, but Kyoko was sure she could talk her round.  Reborn was so adorable, it would really make studying so much fun! 

“Actually, home tutor is just my cover.” 

Kyoko screeched to a halt as something landed on her head. 

“Eh!” 

Reborn jumped to her shoulder.  Kyoko was relatively certain babies were not meant to be that athletic. 

“I’m actually a hitman – the world’s greatest, and my real job is to turn you into a mafia boss.” 

Kyoko-Tsuna gulped. 

‘Th-that’s not funny Reborn.  You shouldn’t say such things.” 

Reborn ignored her, instead pulling out a folder from nowhere. 

“Sawada Tsunayoshi.  Age fourteen, with average grades and sportsmanship ability.  Only notable accomplishment is your friendship with school idol Sasagawa Kyoko, otherwise you’re considered unforgettable by your classmates.” 

“How do you know that?” Kyoko-Tsuna asked.  “You couldn’t have spoken to Maman long enough to- “ 

“It’s my job to know” Reborn interrupted.  “Don’t worry, compared to my last student you will be easy to groom into a perfect mafia boss.” 

Kyoko-Tsuna gulped.  She’s starting to get the feeling Reborn _isn’t_ joking. 

 _‘Suddenly Mochida doesn’t seem that bad.  I picked a really bad day to swap with Tsuna…’_  

“Heh, heh…uh, hey um, there’s my school!  Goodbye!” 

Carefully, she plucked the baby from her shoulder and set him on the ground, before bolting for the building.  She made a point not to look back, trying to put some distance between her and the creepy child that suddenly wasn’t so adorable, hoping her heart wasn’t racing as much as she thought. 

There was a small crowd at the front of the school, and Kyoko spotted Tsuna-Kyoko facing off against Mochida.  The teen was grinning and looming over the girl, whose teeth were gritted and hands were clenched.  Tsuna-Kyoko was clearly trying to figure out the best way to tell the teen ‘get lost’ without ruining Kyoko’s reputation. 

Kyoko wished him luck.  She’d been trying to figure that out for a week.  As she got closer, she slowed down, hoping she could sneak past without anyone noticing.  Mochida generally ignored Tsuna unless he greeted Kyoko, and she really needed some alone time. 

“Isn’t that your friend?” 

She swung her head round.  Inexplicably, Reborn was keeping up with her, walking alongside the wall. 

“Are you really going to leave a woman to defend herself?” 

“Eh.  But…I…uh” 

“If you’re the kind of person who’ll abandon his friends, you should just die right here.” 

Kyoko-Tsuna’s eyes widened as she watched the chameleon that had been perched on Reborn’s hat shapeshifted into a gun, and fired at her.  She didn’t even have time to scream as the bullet pierced her skull. 

‘ _I’m…dying?_  

 _I’m so sorry Tsuna.  I hope you can be happy in my body.  This is all my fault._  

 _I wish…I wish I’d had the courage to tell Mochida my real feelings.  If I’d done that, none of this would have happened…’_  

Tsuna’s body collapsed to the ground.  Three seconds later, an indigo flame burst into life on his forehead.  Reborn froze, taking in the colour as Tsuna jumped up, clothes bursting off his body. 

“REBORN!” he roared, before his eyes swung in the direction of Kyoko and Mochida, both of whom had turned at the sound of the yell.  “TELL OFF MOCHIDA WITH MY DYING WILL!” 

The entire crowd outside the school was gaping at her, but she ignored it, storming over and pushing them out of the way to next to Mochida, standing in front of Tsuna-Kyoko. 

“Ts-Tsuna?” he squeaked, eyes darting down her body in horror.  “W-what are you doing?” 

Kyoko ignored him, choosing to glare at Mochida, who didn’t appear to understand what was happening.  She thrust a finger into his face, all but ramming it up his nose. 

“Listen up Mochida!  When a girl gives you excuses not once, not twice, but every. Single. Time you ask her out, take the hint!  But since you’re too stupid to figure that out, I’ll spell it out for you.  Sasagawa Kyoko is not. Interested. In. you!  At all!  Do you think if you keep cornering a girl in public she’ll eventually give in?  Have some respect for her and yourself!” 

She grabbed the shell-shocked Tsuna-Kyoko’s arm.  “The next time you bother me I swear I’ll forget about decorum and punch you in the face.  And then I’ll sic brother on you!” 

Everyone was silent, jaws dropped and staring at the half naked boy.  Kyoko-Tsuna, still riding her dying will, stormed out of the crowd, dragging Tsuna-Kyoko with her. 

When they made it inside the door, the flame on Kyoko-Tsuna’s head finally dimmed, and she blinked back to consciousness, before blushing beet red. 

“OH MY GOD!  WHAT DID I JUST DO?” 

“That’s what I want to know!” Tsuna-Kyoko wailed.  “Why aren’t you wearing any clothes?” 

Kyoko-Tsuna looked down, and screamed, wrapping her arms around her chest.  “I-I don’t know!” 

Tsuna-Kyoko frantically looked round, before grabbing her hand. 

“I have my PE kit in my locker.  You can change into that, and then you can tell me what happened.” 

* * *

Reborn is going to _kill_ Iemitsu. 

The man had _sworn_ his son had sky flames.  Even the Ninth had confirmed it.  But there was no denying the fact that when Sawada Tsunayoshi entered dying will mode, it was mist flames fuelling his actions. 

This is the sort of thing a mafia tutor needs to know _before_ he takes a job like this.  Because Vongola requires an heir with the correct bloodline and **sky** flames. 

He clenches his teeth and makes his way into the building, completely uncertain as to exactly how to carry on from this point.  It’s important to remember that it’s not Tsuna’s fault the information is inaccurate – one doesn’t choose their flames. 

However, the sight he sees inside the entry hall banishes most of those thoughts to the back of his mind.  His student is huddled against the ground, arms around his head as he rocks, while Kyoko, the girl he’d just defended has opened a locker and is pulling out a gym kit. 

“Here, put these on.  Then maybe we can beg Hibari for a spare uniform.” 

That just made his student seem even more panicked.  “We can’t!  If he hears that you showed up at school in your underwear he’ll bit you to death!” 

The girl standing over him just giggled nervously.  “Well, maybe we can get one from the Disciplinary Committee before he finds out.  But we’d better swap back first, I don’t want him knowing it was you and beating you up for it.  Brother would have a fit.” 

His student, currently pulling on the shorts, jerked in shock.  “No!  Tsuna, I don’t know what happened, but I’m not letting you take the fall for it.” 

The girl stays silent, but just as his student finished pulling on a t-shirt, she glances round the room (Reborn makes a point to stay out of sight) before she darts in and gives the boy a quick kiss, before shrieking and leaping back. 

“Tsuna!  I told you- “ 

“It’s okay Kyoko!” his student insists.  “Honestly, until we figure this out staying in the right body is probably for the best.” 

The girl droops.  “Well, I don’t know for sure, but I think it has to do with the really strange baby your mother hired to be your tutor.” 

The boy blinks.  “Baby?” 

“That would be me.” 

Both teens freeze, before turning round in unison to see Reborn staring at them. 

Frankly, the entire conversation was ridiculous and insane, even by mafia standards. 

But considering Reborn was a grown man cursed to live in an infant’s body, it wasn’t the _strangest_ thing he’d seen.  Besides, if it was true, his initial panic over a Decimo Mist was unnecessary. 

“I am the Home Tutor Reborn, and I require an explanation.” 

He held Leon up and narrowed his eyes. 

“Now.” 

* * *

In the end, Tsuna and Kyoko had decided not to risk Hibari’s ire and instead went to the Nurses Office.  They only had one uniform, and it was just a tad too big for Tsuna, but he made do.  While he changed, Kyoko repeated what Reborn had told her when he’d assumed she was Tsuna. 

Tsuna, naturally freaked out, but was forced to get back on topic when Reborn shot the air around him and demanded the explanation he’d desired earlier. 

“Ah…um…can’t we maybe explain after class?” Tsuna asked, desperately looking for some time to process ‘you’re now in line to inherit a mafia family.’ 

“The bell will ring in five minutes, so I suggest to explain quickly” Reborn warned. 

Tsuna gulped.   

“There’s a curse on all the men in my mother’s family.  Any time I kiss someone, I swap bodies with them.  Kyoko and I, there was an accident when we were little and that’s how we found out.” 

Reborn’s eyes narrowed.  “Yet you’re still swapping?” 

“It was just for fun at first!” Kyoko insisted.  “Tsuna was having a lot of trouble with the kids in the neighbourhood, and I wanted to be a boy for a while.  Girls don’t get to do the fun things boys get to do.  And we just…kept doing it.” 

“Yeah, we’ve done it so long nobody can tell, and its…soothing, to be someone else every now and then.” 

“Hmph.” 

Tsuna flinched at the sound.  “A-anyways, what do you mean I have to become a mafia boss?” 

Before Reborn could reply though, the bell rang, and Tsuna’s heart sank.  Reborn just glared at them, before jumping and kicking Tsuna the ground.   

“Meet me here at lunch.  I will explain everything then.” 

\--- 

The lunch bell couldn’t ring fast enough.  The second they were released, Tsuna and Kyoko ran to the roof, closely followed by Hana chasing their heels.   

“Is anyone going to explain to me what happened this morning?” the black haired girl snapped. 

“Trust me Hana, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you” Kyoko moaned.  “I still don’t believe it.” 

“Maybe it’s all a big joke?” Tsuna offered, praying to every deity he could think of to make it true.  This morning had been one giant disaster – everyone had been whispering about what happened, and Mochida had been glaring at him all day. 

‘ _Please_ ’ he prayed.  _‘Please let this all be a bad dream…’_  

* * *

Reborn had a plan for how today would go.  Tsuna however, has managed to not only throw it out the window, but tie it to a rocket and send it into the satrosphere.   

Body switching.  Of all the ridiculous things.  Even by Vongola standards. 

The door to the roof burst open, and Reborn frowned at the arrival of yet another girl.  He had planned that after the initial introduction and the first dying will bullet, that Tsuna would be too embarrassed to go for help.  Unfortunately, that hadn’t happened thanks to Reborn not knowing that ‘Tsuna’ hadn’t actually been Tsuna.  Instead he’s spilled the beans to the wrong person, and now he had to deal with an entourage. 

Don’t get him wrong, bringing in people would be necessary eventually, but not right at the start, when Reborn had to set the boundaries down in stone.  Getting his student alone was vital. 

Clearly, Tsuna didn’t want to play ball. 

Well, fine.  Reborn didn’t get where he was without learning how to improvise. 

“Ciaossu” he greeted.  “You must be Kurokawa Hana.  I am Reborn, the World’s Greatest Hitman.” 

Hana just looked at him with equal parts shock and disgust. 

“Ugh, a baby?  You brought a baby to school?” 

Kyoko winced.  “It’s a little more complicated than that.” 

Hana’s look of disbelief didn’t really abate as Kyoko rattled off what little she’d been told that morning, while Tsuna walked over to Reborn. 

He’d intended to be calm and collected about it, but facing off with the baby found his nerves slipping away. 

“But why am I supposed to be a mafia boss?” Tsuna burst out.  “Don’t you have to be, I don’t know, Italian?” 

As a reply, Reborn brought out an old piece of parchment, listing a family tree. 

“The original boss retired to Japan several hundred years ago and left the family to his cousin.  Normally, the Vongola head would pass the title on to one of his children.  However, all three of the Ninth’s sons have been assassinated, which means looking back to the Primo line.  You Sawada Tsunayoshi, are the next in line for the title. 

“But I don’t want to be a mafia boss!” Tsuna yells.   

Reborn ignores him.  “My job is to train you from an inferior civilian into a mighty leader.  Don’t worry, I have never failed.” 

“That is not the issue!” 

Hana, now up to speed, just held up a hand. 

“I’m sorry, I refuse to believe this is happening.  Where’s the hidden camera?” 

“Hana, I’m pretty sure it’s real” Kyoko admitted.  “I mean, the whole incident this morning happened because Reborn shot me- “ 

“HE SHOT YOU?” 

The girl flinched back as both Tsuna and Hana rounded on her, yelling in unison. 

“…I got better?” 

“It’s called the dying will bullet.” 

All three turned to face the infant again, who was reaching for the chameleon on his hat.  Tsuna and Hana’s eyes widened as it suddenly shifted into a gun. 

“It’s an invention created for the Vongola family.  When someone is shot with this bullet, if they have any regrets when they die, they are reborn, with all of the bodies limits released thanks to the dying will flame.” 

All three of them froze, and Reborn’s eyes narrowed.  Hana, the owner of a hundred notebooks and experiments, decided to ask – even if it meant asking a baby. 

“When you say flame, I don’t suppose you’d mean an orange flame that doesn’t necessarily burn when lit?” 

Iemitsu. Is. Dead. 

“You’ve seen it?” 

All three of them nod.   

“Tsuna’s managed to summon them a few times” Kyoko says.  “But only when he’s in another body.  Never in his own.” 

Oh, so seal is still in place.  Maybe he’ll let Iemitsu off with just a mauling. 

“Wait, but Kyoko’s flames were indigo, not orange” Tsuna argued.   

“Hmph, this is something I didn’t intend to mention until later, but there are several different types of dying will flame” Reborn explained.  “It can be attributed to personality, but each one is named after an element of the weather – Sky, Sun, Rain, Storm, Lightning, Mist and Cloud.  Only a tiny percentage of the population can activate it at will, but the dying will bullet can force it out.  The Vongola line is famed for its Sky Flame, but Kyoko is clearly a Mist.” 

He glanced in her direction.  “Seeing Mist flames when I expected Sky was something of a surprise.” 

Tsuna was shaking his head.  “Okay, flames, fine.  But I don’t want to be a mafia boss.” 

Reborn just smirked.  “Don’t worry, I’ll turn you into the perfect mafia boss.” 

Tsuna was doing something rather hilarious with his face at that, but Reborn powered through. 

“As your tutor, it is my duty to teach you and train you up.  First rule, no more switching.” 

That gets a reaction. 

“What!” 

“Hah!  Good luck with that.” 

“You can’t do that!” 

Reborn glares at the teens.  “This is a childish game that has gone on long enough.  Sawada Tsunayoshi’s life will be complicated enough without me having to purchase nametags.  Besides, I was of the impression that kissing was a rather private affair in Japan?” 

They all wince at that.  “W-we do it in private!” Kyoko insists.  “Nobody sees us- “ 

“Don’t care” Reborn snapped, and cocked Leon in Tsuna’s direction.  “I see you trying to slip away, I’ll show you exactly how I earned my title as World’s Best Hitman.” 

* * *

“This is the worst day ever” Kyoko moaned as the trio descended the stairs.  “And it’s not even halfway over yet.” 

“You think it’s bad now?” Tsuna asked.  “What do you think Hibari’s going to do if I tell him he’s not allowed to borrow me or Brother anymore?” 

“Ugh, why are you even taking the baby seriously?” Hana snapped.  “Even if half of what he says is true, why are you just doing what he says?” 

Kyoko sighed.  “That’s easy for you to say Hana.  You’re not the main target.” 

They reached the bottom of the stairs and headed back towards the class. 

“But…but I don’t want to stop swapping with Kyoko just yet” Tsuna insisted. 

“Neither do I” Kyoko protested.  “There’s got to be a way we can still do it.” 

Hana scoffed.  “Honestly?  Unless you choose to do the smart thing and ignore the baby or, I don’t know, find a way to make kissing in broad daylight perfectly acceptable, you’re going to have to.” 

Her face turned introspective.  “Although, maybe he does have a point.  We probably shouldn’t be so carefree with body switching – we’re teenagers, once the hormones really kick in it could get dangerous.  Maybe weaning off would be a good thing.” 

“Hana!” Kyoko hissed, utterly scandalised.  Her friend just rolled her eyes. 

“Oh please, how many times have you two showered or gone swimming or changed clothes as each other?  No offence, but I do not want any of the boys in my body once they start getting curious and…sweaty.” 

Tsuna winced.  “Hana, I will _pay_ you to stop talking.” 

Kyoko shuddered.  “Seconded.” 

“Kyoko!  Tsuna!  Hana!” 

All three of them jerked their heads up as the recognised Ryohei bolting down the corridor towards them.  For once, there was no grin on his face, and he glanced between Kyoko and Tsuna in confusion. 

“Eh” he said.  “I thought Tsuna swapped with Kyoko to the extreme!” 

“We did” Tsuna admitted, “But we swapped back after this morning.” 

“Though congratulations for noticing” Hana offered, and Ryohei gave a quick grin and thumbs up. 

“My instincts are extremely spot on today!” 

“Brother!” Kyoko greeted.  “I swear; I can explain this morning!” 

Ryohei however, just looked confused.  “Explain?  I thought it was extremely impressive.  Mochida was asking for it to the extreme.  And to do it without a uniform, is Tsuna finally considering joining the boxing club?” 

He swung his head in Tsuna’s direction, stars in his eyes and Tsuna flinched.  He’d had to cover for Ryohei a few times as manager, and had apparently done such a good job Brother kept trying to make him a permanent addition.  The only stopping him was Tsuna’s constant refusals and Kyoko’s regular use of his body. 

Before Tsuna could reject him though, Ryohei shook his head furiously.  “No, I must not get off topic to the extreme.  I have to tell you something very important.” 

Kyoko frowned. 

“What’s wrong Brother?” 

His next words froze all three of them. 

“Mochida extremely challenged Tsuna!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, awful place to end, but if its any consolation, will hopefully have the next chapter out faster.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. After this, chapters will be delayed again. I've been working and not had as much free time, so much of my buffer work has now been depleted. Will still try to get a chapter up per month though.

**Chapter 9**

"Hiei?" Tsuna yelped, staring at Ryohei in horror. "What do you mean 'challenged me?'"

Apparently, Mochida had recovered from Kyoko-Tsuna yelling in his face, and had decided that it had somehow been more insulting to Kyoko than to him. Now he wanted to punish Tsuna for his actions in a kendo match.

Hana scoffed. "Stupid monkey probably thinks defending Kyoko's honour will win her heart or something. Talk about an egotist."

Kyoko sighed. "He really cannot take a hint can he?"

Tsuna was barely paying attention, crouched on the ground with hands over his head. "Hiei! I can't fight Mochida! Isn't he the captain of the kendo club?"

"I doubt it'll be a real match" Hana replies. "Everyone knows you can't use a sword; it'll probably just be a set up so the monkey can show off."

That didn't really comfort him, and Kyoko crouched down next to him.

"I'm sorry Tsuna. Maybe I could talk to him?"

"You'll do no such thing."

Kyoko flinched back as Reborn appeared out of nowhere, jumping onto Tsuna's head.

"A Mafia boss doesn't let a woman fight his battles for him."

Tsuna leapt to his feet. "I'm not going to be a Mafia boss!" he yelled. "And this isn't **my** fight! I had nothing to do with this!"

"He's right!" Kyoko insisted. "This is my fault. I should swap with Tsuna and-"

She fell silent as Reborn's pet shapeshifted once again.

"No more switching" he warned. "If I catch you sneaking off and trying to trick me, you'll regret it."

Tsuna whimpered.

* * *

By the time the group made their way to the gym, quite the crowd had gathered. Clearly this morning's escapade had spread down Namimori's rumour mill like wildfire. Tsuna walked into the room looking like a man heading to the gallows, flanked by the girls and Ryohei. Reborn had vanished, but Tsuna didn't doubt for a second the baby was in here somewhere.

He swallowed. Mochida was already in the centre, fully geared up. The dread didn't vanish when the teen stalked over, and explained the terms. All Tsuna had to do was get one hit with a sword.

Kyoko however, shook her head and stepped forward.

"Mochida, wait!" Kyoko began. "This is ridiculous-"

"And of course, the winner gets Kyoko!"

Tsuna's eyes widened.

"What!"

He glanced to the side. Kyoko's mouth had dropped slightly, and she looked as shocked as he did. It only lasted an instant, before she managed to hide it, but the ire was clear. In the back, he could hear Hana growling. He swallowed and tried to glare at Mochida, pushing past her.

"K-Kyoko's not a prize!" he stuttered. "Don't talk about her like that."

"I'll crush you to the extreme!" Ryohei hollered from the sides, and Mochida winced. Apparently he'd forgotten that his crush had a brother with an extreme left hook and little restraint.

He recovered quickly enough, and smirked as he tossed Tsuna the wooden sword. "Words are cheap. Face your judgement Sawada."

He grabbed the sword in trembling fingers, and stepped forward-

"Tsuna, wait!"

He paused as Kyoko grabbed his arm.

"I'm really sorry about this."

The teen gave a nervous laugh. "I-It's okay Kyoko. I don't really want to fight, but he doesn't get to talk about you like that."

Kyoko smiles, and Tsuna tenses while everyone around whispers about how cute it is.

Because that smile is not cute. That is Kyoko's 'I'm-my-brother's-sister-and-I'm-about-to-prove-it' smile.

"Here Tsuna, for luck."

She moves in, and Tsuna freezes as her lips touch his and everyone around them shrieks in shock.

Kyoko just kissed him. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!

"KYOKO! THAT IS NOT EXTREME!"

* * *

In the rafters, Reborn's eyes widen, and he can't help the laugh that escapes at the girl's actions.

"Oh Sasagawa Kyoko, you sneaky little- "

* * *

Tsuna's too paralysed to even register the switch, and just stares at Kyoko-Tsuna in equal parts shock and horror. The girl just laughs sheepishly and blushes as she rubs the back of her head.

"Wow, thank you Kyoko. But…you know I'm not doing this to win you, right?"

Tsuna-Kyoko forces himself to respond, falling into Kyoko's speech patterns and clasping her hands behind her back. "Ah, I know. Good luck Tsuna-chan!"

Kyoko-Tsuna grins back and hefts the sword up in front of a flabbergasted Mochida.

"Okay Mochida. I'm about to show you what happens when you treat a girl like a trophy!"

* * *

From his viewpoint, Reborn was highly enjoying the show. He'd give the girl props, he'd always been the type to believe woman should be defended, but there was something highly appealing about a woman who didn't expect you to. Mochida clearly hadn't expected Tsuna to actually fight back, and 'Kyoko's' lucky charm had thrown him off. Not that it mattered – Reborn had spotted a lucky shot in clear view of the referee, but he hadn't even flinched.

Since it was clear her opponent wasn't playing fair, Reborn gestured for Leon.

Kyoko had managed to surprise him, and that probably deserved a hand. One more dying will bullet before he punished Tsuna for letting her do it.

He fired.

* * *

When Kyoko-Tsuna came to, Mochida was on the floor, completely unconscious and most of his protective gear torn to pieces. She blinked in confusion, and held up what was left of the sword – she'd rendered it down to just the handle, leaving splinters all over the ground.

And for the second time that day, she was down to just Tsuna's underwear.

Nobody else seemed really sure what had taken place either, with whispers echoing through the hall.

"What just happened?"

"Tsuna just beat Mochida into pulp! Are you even allowed to do that?"

"Wow, I guess Tsuna's a lot cooler than I thought."

"That was actually kind of romantic. Ah, I'm kind of jealous!"

Kyoko-Tsuna stumbled to her feet, and glanced over at Tsuna-Kyoko, Hana and her brother, all of whom were looking at her either in shock or complete awe. She sighed, and decided to take the Tsuna route as she dropped what was left of the sword.

"HIIEEEIII?"

* * *

"You know Kyoko, when I said you had to find a way to make kissing Tsuna in public acceptable, this isn't what I meant" Hana told Kyoko once Hibari stepped forward and chased the crowd away. Once they were alone, Kyoko and Tsuna swapped back, and Tsuna found himself wearing Ryohei's jacket as they headed back into school on a hunt for another uniform.

Kyoko just smiled sheepishly. "I know. Honestly, it just came to me. I was getting so angry at Mochida, and I just thought 'why can't you be more like Tsuna?' and, bingo! Problem solved."

"I have to admit, I underestimated you."

They all looked up as Reborn jumped onto Tsuna's head, the boy freaking out at his arrival.

"Hiei! Reborn, you were watching?"

The baby nods, staring at Kyoko, but the girl merely put her arms akimbo and glared right back.

"You said that if you ever saw Tsuna swapping _in secret_ , you'd punish him. But people would think it's weird if he didn't kiss his girlfriend, right? So it would actually be a bad thing to stop us."

Reborn smirks, tilting his hat either in humour or acknowledgement – she's not really sure, but Tsuna looks a little upset.

"I…I don't know if I feel right about this."

At that Kyoko froze, and turned to Tsuna in horror.

"Wait…oh no! Tsuna, don't tell me there was someone you were going to confess to?"

Tsuna blanches and waves his arms in front of him.

"Ah, no! No, no, I mean, there wasn't anyone I liked that way but…are you sure about this Kyoko? People might treat you differently for not having a popular boyfriend."

Kyoko just crossed her arms and pouted. "Tsuna, if I wanted someone popular, I'd be dating Mochida. No, I'd rather have an excuse to spend even more time with my best friend."

"It's an extremely good compromise" Ryohei admits. "It keeps boys away from my little sister, and protects her virtue to the extreme!"

"Very well" Reborn admits. "I'll let it go for now. But swaps with anyone else are forbidden. And I **will** be enforcing that."

"Eh?" Ryohei exclaims. "What's with the baby?"

Hana just rolls her eyes.

"Seriously? You've only **just** noticed him?"

* * *

"So" Reborn starts once they're back at home and Tsuna's taking off his shoes. "Body swapping?"

Tsuna sighs. "Like I said, it's a curse that runs on my mother's side of the family. If you want more information you need to ask her."

"Ah Tsu-kun!" Nana chimed, appearing at her mention. "You met Reborn. Did Kyoko tell you about him?"

The boy winced. "Yeah…and he um… _found out?"_

Nana just pouted. "Tsuna" she chided. "You know better than that! You can't just tell people."

"It wasn't like that!" Tsuna insisted, and Reborn pulled on his hair to stop the shrieking.

"I've already told him that it needs to stop" Reborn tells the woman. "It will be difficult to teach him if I don't know where he is."

To his surprise, his charge's mother just frowns at him.

"Well that's not really fair Reborn" she says. "You shouldn't stop someone from doing something they're good at. Tsuna and his friends love playing together. If you figured out their secret, surely you can just learn to tell them apart? That would be much better."

His student is smiling, and Reborn yanks on his hair again, pulling out a hairclip as Nana wanders back into the kitchen.

"Did you really think she'd agree?" Tsuna asked, wincing from the hair tugging. "My mother is the one that encouraged us in the beginning. I think she's kind of jealous."

Reborn frowned as they made their way up the stairs. He'd assumed Nana wouldn't have been aware of her son's practices, but apparently that oblivious charm holds a dark streak. Clearly there will be no support on that front.

Well…he'll worry about that later. Tonight he needs to regroup and put together a plan – his student and his friends have made it clear they're not just going to roll over and listen, and Reborn needs to figure out just how to harness this chaos created by someone other than him. If nothing else, he needs to get Tsuna in the right frame of mind tomorrow morning and make certain he does have the necessary sky flames. The **last** thing he needs is to find the brats swapped when they were toddlers and Nono sealed the wrong kid.

For all that frustration, he makes certain the settings on the wire traps are set to 'extra crispy' that night.

* * *

The next morning, he uses defibrillators on his student, and his shrieks soothe the aggravation that is still bubbling from yesterday's antics.

"Who in their right mind shocks someone awake!" Tsuna wails at him as he desperately tries to down the static in their hair. Reborn just smirks.

"You don't approve? Very well, tomorrow I'll use ice water."

"What's wrong with an alarm?" Tsuna snaps, grabbing some hair clips and trying to tame the worst of it. The end result isn't nearly as smooth as he'd like, but it's respectable enough to step outside.

"A mafia boss should be prepared for anything" Reborn replies, walking behind him as he heads out of the room. "If you want to avoid it, wake up on time."

"There was five minutes left on my clock" Tsuna mutters, mostly to himself, before forcing a smile and greeting his mother for breakfast. Reborn followed suit, and in between eating his meal and stealing whatever Tsuna didn't catch in time, analysed his student.

The shocking wake up aside, Tsuna seemed to be a lot more balanced regarding Reborn's presence. The shrieking and panic seemed to have been reduced, as if violent protests required too much effort. He'd need to watch that – laziness and apathy were traits that would be crushed mercilessly.

First off though, he still needed to get the measure of his student…and start knocking off the _right_ seal's flames. When Tsuna walked out the door and headed to school, Reborn followed along the walls.

"Do you have to chase me to school again?" Tsuna asked, eyes flickering towards him.

"Yes" Reborn replied. "Thanks to Sasagawa Kyoko, I still need to observe you. I can't properly design a mafia curriculum without understanding my student."

His student groaned. "I told you! I'm not going to be a mafia boss! I don't care what that family tree says, find someone else!"

All he gets for that is some raised eyebrows.

"So, what do you want to do with your life?" Reborn asked, and Tsuna shrugged, pace slowing for a moment in hesitation.

"I…don't really know" he admitted. "I never put much thought into it. But that doesn't mean I want to be a mafia boss."

Reborn smirked. "That's a rather lame answer Dame-Tsuna."

The boy flinched. "N-nobody calls me that anymore" he whines, though the nickname stings more than it used to. "I'm not dame."

"No" Reborn admits. "At least if you were Dame you'd know who you were. Instead you're just a nobody…"

Tsuna's eyes widen as he spots the chameleon in the baby's hand.

"…and _nobody_ misses a nobody."

He fires, and Tsuna falls to the ground, bullet lodged in his head.

" _He…actually killed me?_

_I didn't…I didn't think he'd actually do it._

… _I don't want to die. Not just yet. I haven't figured out what I want to do yet._

_If I'd known, it would be today…I would have gone to him._

_I wish…I wish I could have at least helped him before it was too late…"_

* * *

On the wall, Reborn watched his student intensely, Leon twitching as his hand tightened.

He needed sky flames. More importantly, he needed regret. It wasn't a perfect plan, but since the 'girlfriend' angle wasn't an option and Kyoko had managed to neutralise his enemy, Reborn had to improvise. There was no way a fourteen-year-old didn't have at least one regret before dying, at least some plan for the future, no matter how aimless they seemed. When he awoke, Reborn could find out what he was working with.

That said, he couldn't deny the relief he felt when he saw pure orange flames blossom on Tsuna's head, his clothes bursting off his body.

His money was on Tsuna running to school or the shopping district, to study or demand a job – something 'future' related.

What he got, was something else entirely.

"REBORN! KISS YAMAMOTO WITH MY DYING WILL!"

Oh, for the love of-

He nearly fell off the wall as Tsuna went bolting down the street, and gritted his teeth before he followed suit.

* * *

It was a well-known fact that Yamamoto Takeshi came to school early every morning to practice his batting or pitching, regardless of whether or not practice was scheduled. It was a work ethic that made him the pride of the team, although most of them seemed to admire it more than try and follow it. Besides, that one day he skipped because he felt ill had the entire team looking at him in such disappointment he's doesn't dare cut back.

It's kind of frustrating, especially since he seems to have plateaued while the rest of the team keep getting better, but he can hardly tell them that. Just once though, it would be nice if they appreciated it rather than take it for granted.

He'd just finished packing away the equipment, and was in the locker room changing into his uniform, when the door burst open with a crash. His head jerked up, hands pausing in buttoning his shirt, as he took in the new arrival.

"…Tsuna?" he questioned, eyes taking in the lithe teen, clad in nothing but boxers, whose eyes were wild and head on fire. He couldn't help but laugh, remembering the day before. "Are you fighting with Mochida again?"

Tsuna didn't appear to hear him, and his smile dropped as the teen lunged for him. Hands clamped around his head, and he squawks as he feels the teen's lips on his. The teens body slams into his and the two of them crash to the ground, and Yamamoto winces, as he lands on a bare chest.

…wait…what?

…He pulls himself up, and stares in confusion at _himself,_ a flame that had most decidedly _not_ been there five seconds ago snuffing itself out. His body looks up at him in horror, before closing his eyes and moaning.

"Hiieee…Hana's gonna kill me…"

The sound is far too familiar, and Yamamoto holds up his hands for inspection, before bringing them up to his skull. Once he feels the hairclips, he's positive.

"Tsuna?" he whispers, staring down at the body snatcher, and Tsuna-Yamamoto flinches.

"I…I can explain."

Once the two of them have scrambled off each other, Tsuna-Yamamoto grabs his bag and pulls out another uniform, giving it to Yamamoto-Tsuna to change into. He then takes a step back, buttoning up his shirt and keeping his eyes down. Yamamoto however, is having none of that.

"Tsuna, what did you do?"

The boy flinches again, and Yamamoto finds it a little eerie, watching his body look so nervous.

"I _swear_ ; it wasn't intentional" he insists. "There's this baby, and he's got this thing where he…look let's just say I wasn't in control when I kissed you and I _promise_ I can swap you right back."

Yamamoto-Tsuna nods, choosing to ignore the relief he feels at that.

"Okay, but _what did you do?"_

Tsuna-Yamamoto swallows.

"I have this…gift, I guess. When I was a little, I accidentally kissed Sasagawa Kyoko, and we switched places. My mother says men in my family have the ability to swap bodies with people they kiss. Only the Sasagawa siblings, Hana and the Head of the Disciplinary committee, Hibari, know about it. Kyoko and I, we sometimes swap with each other for a day, just to try living in someone else's shoes."

Tsuna-Yamamoto looks away, scuffing the ground with his shoe. "I've watched you, I watch everyone. You smile like Kyoko – it's not real, like you have to keep everyone at arm's length and…I know from playing Kyoko just how exhausting that can be. I just thought you might like a day where nobody has any expectations for you."

Yamamoto-Tsuna's eyes widen.

"You can tell?"

He bites his tongue – he hadn't meant to say that out loud. However, Tsuna just gives him a small smile.

"I've spent a lot of time watching people. I've gotten good at spotting the difference."

Yamamoto frowns.

"But…won't people notice?" he asks. "How can you act like someone else and not catch on?"

It's almost eerie what happens next. Tsuna-Yamamoto meets his eyes, and _transforms._ He stands a little straighter, arms arched behind his head, and gives a sunshine grin – a look that fitted Yamamoto's face to a tee. "I told you, Kyoko and I swap bodies from time to time – along with Hana, brother and Hibari. I'm used to having to be someone else at the drop of a hat. Playing you would be hard in the long run, sure, but for one day? So long as I don't have to play baseball, I'll be able to pull it off."

His hands drop, and he holds one out.

"So, how about it?" he asks. "If you don't feel comfortable, I'll kiss you right now and we can pretend this whole thing never happened."

Yamamoto-Tsuna stares at the hand, then down at his own. The skin on the palms is smoother than Yamamoto can ever remember them being, and there's a stiffness to the limbs that begs for him to stretch. But there's also the bubbling feeling in his chest that keeps growing, an overwhelming feeling of freedom he hasn't felt since he was a little kid.

He grabs Tsuna-Yamamoto's hand and shakes, giggling a little at how much stronger his own hand feels.

"I haven't played a game of pretend in years" Yamamoto-Tsuna laughs, giddy at the irony. "This could be fun."

Tsuna-Yamamoto grins back. "I'll meet you on the roof at the end of the day. Don't worry, I'll make sure to tell the others. Just have fun."

The other boy smiles, and grabs Tsuna's bag before heading out the door. His gait is a little shaky, mind trying to compensate for much shorter limbs, but nothing that will attract attention. Once he's out the door, Tsuna goes through his locker, grabbing his bag and double checking the contents for his masquerade.

"I thought we discussed this earlier."

He glances down. Reborn is standing on a bench, looking more than slightly perturbed.

To Reborn's disbelief, just laughs and scratches the back of his head.

He's only seen the boy his student is masquerading as in the distance until now, but it is such a _non-Tsuna_ and utterly _Yamamoto_ act that it catches Reborn off guard.

"Hey, you can't blame me for this Reborn" Tsuna-Yamamoto chuckles. "You fired the bullet. But I don't mind, this could be a fun game."

Reborn frowns. He _should_ be dragging the boy currently masquerading as his student back here so they can swap back, but this is…intriguing.

The boy in front of him is confident and carefree. There's none of the flinching or jerking or shrieking that both Kyoko and Tsuna have – the two of them have very similar tells – but Reborn's only just now starting to suspect that's because they have to play each other so often - the instinctive reactions have blurred together from habit.

Logically, Tsuna should still react that way in another body. And yet…

"Are your mimicry skills really that good?"

Tsuna-Yamamoto blinks in curiosity, before grinning again.

"Mah, maybe it would be better if I show you huh? It's easier to play than explain."

With that the teen heads off, one hand in the air as a casual goodbye. It should be seen as a sign of disrespect…

…except 'Yamamoto' has no reason to treat Reborn with respect.

This could actually be interesting…

* * *

Tsuna-Yamamoto kept the smile on his face as he headed towards the school. Internally, he was panicking, absolutely certain that Reborn was going to chase him and make him pay for the last few minutes.

Yet he made it to the building with no problem, and felt that tension ease.

Yesterday had been a car crash from start to finish. Neither himself or Kyoko had been at their best – between the dying will bullets and Reborn's very presence, neither had played their parts well.

Now? Now after 24 hours of processing, and a new body to master in a matter of minutes, Tsuna was actually at peace. He needed to do this, or Yamamoto would be even more miserable, and Reborn would crush him even sooner.

Besides, he's gotten to play 'popular' and 'athlete,' but never both at the same time. This should be fun.

* * *

This was quite possibly the best day Yamamoto ever had since entering Namimori Middle. He'd thought it would be lonely, but there was something rather therapeutic about not being surrounded every second. Even Kyoko and Hana, once informed, just gave him a polite smile and promised he could eat with them if he wanted. He'd half expected people to still be buzzing from Tsuna's 'confession' yesterday, but Kyoko had arrived early and explain with slightly teary eyes that the two of them didn't want attention while they were working things out, while Ryohei was roaring around the corners and terrifying anyone who even mentioned their names. Since nobody wanted to be the person who might actually make her start crying and incur the wrath of 'Brother,' the incident remained unmentioned, and 'Tsuna' was left alone.

In class, he wasn't called, and as it wasn't actually his, he didn't have to worry about how well he actually did in class (Kyoko took him aside and told him that Hana and herself made sure Tsuna and her brother would actually pass the tests that mattered), and there was nobody expecting him to spend his spare time to practice.

Tsuna on the other hand, clearly has a career in acting. _Yamamoto_ is almost convinced Tsuna is Yamamoto – there's a few tiny tells, he's 80% certain his Dad would be able to see something was wrong, but nobody else seems to notice.

Perhaps that should be frightening – the idea that someone could take over your life so easily, but Yamamoto's never been the type to think like ordinary people. Besides, it's clear Tsuna's using his powers for good. Yamamoto doesn't really know the Sasagawa's, but it's pretty clear Kyoko and Ryohei are decent people. He doubts they would tolerate Tsuna if he was abusing their trust (Yamamoto doesn't have a sister, but if he did, he _highly_ doubts he would be as comfortable as Ryohei is with anybody taking her body for a joyride). Given that Tsuna isn't in a body cast, Yamamoto is happy to relax and enjoy being nobody.

And hey, wow, he really needs to get to know Kyoko and Tsuna more. If he's understanding this right, then it was actually Kyoko who attacked Mochida both times yesterday. That's kind of awesome – he doesn't know a lot of girls who would do that, most of them are just really giggly or really quiet. Yamamoto thinks his Dad would really like Kyoko. Kyoko and Tsuna – he already can't wait to introduce them.

* * *

Once he'd finished setting up the cameras and hidden bases throughout the school, Reborn settles in to watch the show. Part of him still wants to kill Iemitsu, but if this curse only affects the men of Nana's family, it's not inconceivable that he wouldn't know, and it has given his student some very desirable skills. Enough that he's starting to reconsider the swapping ban (although, given his students reaction to the bullet, any ban might be fruitless anyway).

He's not fully aware of it, but Tsuna clearly has a very basic understanding of seduction, emotional manipulation and basic undercover abilities thanks to its use. If he can imitate someone he's only observed from a distance for less than a month **this** well **,** there's no telling what he could do with some actual training. If Reborn could teach him how to utilise these skills in his own body, the Vongola will have one of the best Mafioso spies on the planet leading the charge.

But on the other hand, it's dangerous. The last heir of Vongola can swap bodies with a kiss. If word of this got out to the wrong people it could be disastrous – it wouldn't take much to suggest that Nono might perhaps take on the tenth role himself in a younger body, or worse – a rival familia with a sky flame deciding to put a cuckoo tenth in place.

He'd never thought he'd say it, but Iemitsu might have had the right idea keeping his family in Japan and in the dark. People don't kiss so casually here as they do in Italy – Tsuna would never have kept it as quiet as he had. As it is, the damage control Reborn has to do is minor. Yamamoto, Hibari and Sasagawa Ryohei are all budding potential Guardians, and since Tsuna will eventually have to marry and produce an heir of his own, Kyoko is a perfect choice given her brother's relationship, and her complete acceptance (and dare he say, dependence?) on the switching. The only wild card is Hana – clearly not a guardian or interested in Tsuna…Reborn will have to watch her. Ideally assassination won't be required, but he didn't become the world's greatest hitman by being squeamish.

Now all he needs to do is figure out how to keep Tsuna from adding more people to his crazy swapping clique the next time he uses his dying will…

* * *

It's not until lunch that Yamamoto learns that Tsuna's swapping isn't just limited to Kyoko. Kyoko and Hana have taken him up to the roof to meet with Ryohei, while Tsuna is in the classroom navigating Yamamoto's social circles. However, when they get there, somebody is waiting alongside Kyoko's brother.

He stiffens up when he takes in the black uniform. Nobody at Namimori Middle wants to run into this student – what on earth is Hibari Kyoya doing here?

The prefect's eyes flit down Yamamoto-Tsuna's body, and his eyes narrow.

"You are not the small animal."

Kyoko is already in front of him, smiling with a few too many teeth. "It's nothing to worry about Hibari! Just a one-time thing – if you're looking for Tsuna we can bring him up for you?"

Hibari sniffs and ignores her, eyes focused only on Yamamoto, taking in his stance and how he holds his hands.

"Who are you herbivore?" he asks – though it's clear Yamamoto doesn't have the option of refusing. He chuckles nervously.

"Hah, hah, I'm Yamamoto Takeshi" he confesses. "I'm in Tsuna's class."

The prefect's eyes glazed over for a moment, forehead creasing, before giving a wicked smile, resulting in shudders down every witness's spine.

"Oh? The baseball player who requested a pass for additional early morning practice?"

Yamamoto could only nod, and Hibari's eyes sharpened. Hana, who had been getting paler and paler this entire time, finally snaps.

"Oh don't even think about it monkey" she warns. "One. Time. Thing. You do not get to take Yamamoto for a joyride without his permission. I don't care how in shape he is."

Hibari turns to glare at her, but Hana only flinches, choosing to glare him down while Ryohei darts over in case Hibari lunges. Yamamoto cocks his head in confusion.

"Joyride?"

"Hibari likes to swap with Tsuna and me to the extreme!" Ryohei offers, keeping one eye on Hibari. "He likes to fight in other bodies."

"He always leaves them in such bad shape too" Kyoko whispers from his side. "He's sprained Tsuna's ankle more times than I can count, and brother nearly missed a tournament thanks to a pulled muscle. But if Tsuna doesn't swap he'll punish Tsuna whenever he switches with me."

"Really? That's interesting. If I'd known, I would have enlisted Hibari yesterday."

Yamamoto's eyes widen as the wall pops open, revealing a baby in a suit. The girls grimace, though Hibari looks as confused as he does.

"Babies are not permitted on school grounds" he growls. The baby in question ignores him, jumping to the ground and walking over to Yamamoto.

"Greetings. I am the home tutor Reborn. You're currently possessing the body of my student. Please take good care of it."

"Student? Oh, you mean Tsuna? Are you his little brother?" Yamamoto asks.

"No" Reborn replies. "I am the world's greatest hitman, assigned to train Sawada Tsunayoshi into the tenth boss of the Vongola family."

Yamamoto laughs, though it's a little tighter than he'd like due the tension in the air. Hibari is tensing up, and Ryohei's clenched his fists in case the boy goes for Hana instead of the baby. The tension is too much, and Yamamoto feels his reaction bursting out before he can control it.

"Oh I get it!" he laughs. "It's a mafia game mixed with musical chairs. The game's more fun the more people you have to play."

Hana's finally stopped glaring at Hibari, instead looking at the chuckling teen as if he's gone completely mad. Kyoko doesn't look much better, but while Hibari still looks murderous, the tonfas in his hands have dropped. Reborn however, just seems amused.

"He really does have your number, doesn't he?"

Before Yamamoto can process that statement, he turns to Hibari. "My apologies, but I'm partially responsible for this current swap. I'm currently in the middle of observing my student - if you wish to borrow anyone's body, can you wait until the end of the day?"

Hibari's fingers twitch, and Yamamoto almost thinks he sees the baby's shadow lengthen, before Hibari's weapons vanish back into his uniform. There's a brightness in his eyes that Yamamoto can't quite place though.

"I want to fight you baby."

Reborn smirks. "Another time."

Hibari moves forward, and the group dive out of the way as he heads for the door.

"Have the small animal come here at the last bell. If you don't comply I'll bite you all to death.

He heads down the stairs, and when the group turn around, they realise Reborn has vanished as well.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamamoto gets caught up, Tsuna hatches a plan, and Reborn calls in some reinforcements.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little earlier than planned, thanks to a temp job where I have a lot of spare time. I actually GOT PAID to write this because they had nothing for me to do. Not great job-wise, but good for everyone reading this.

**Chapter 10**

Ryohei ended up being the one to tell Tsuna about Hibari’s ultimatum, and once the final bell rung, Tsuna-Yamamoto had vanished from the room.  Yamamoto-Tsuna made his way to the roof in the company of Kyoko and Hana, and when they arrived, Yamamoto’s eyes widened when he spotted Tsuna-Yamamoto in a heated argument with Hibari.  Every few seconds Hibari darts forward, hand snapping at his shirt while Tsuna tries to avoid him.  Sasagawa Ryohei has also beaten them there, head spinning between the two of them as if watching a tennis match.  Beside him, Hana groaned.

“One of these days, somebody is going to beat that demon monkey to within an inch of his life.  And on that day I just pray I have a camera.”

“Huh?”

“Ten to one, Hibari’s trying to convince Tsuna to let him take your body.  Tsuna never argues with Hibari unless it’s about someone other than himself.”

The three on the roof finally register their arrival, and the relief on Tsuna-Yamamoto’s face is visible.

“Yamamoto!  Did you have a good day?”

Yamamoto-Tsuna grins, scratching the back of his head.  “It was an experience.  But I’d like to swap back before my Dad finds out.”

Tsuna grins back, and turns to Hibari.

“See, he’s here now.  So, do you want Brother or-“

“You” Hibari interrupts, clearly not happy.  “I’ve used the boxing herbivore in that district too many times.”

Tsuna-Yamamoto sighs, and turns his head to Yamamoto. 

“Sorry about this Yamamoto, but we’d better swap before Hibari forces me.  He’s already late.”

Yamamoto nods, more than a little curious and Tsuna steps towards him.  The kiss is quick and tame, but Yamamoto can’t help but shudder at the weird sensation that follows.  A second later he’s a foot taller and instinctively rolling his shoulders.

“Wow, that’s really weird” he laughs, and the girls grin. 

Tsuna however, is pushing past, only for Hibari to storm over and grab him by the collar.  Yamamoto’s eyes widen at the roughness, but Hibari-Tsuna pushes him away a moment later. 

“Hibari…” he growls, but Hibari-Tsuna just smirks.

“Hm, you were taking too long small animal” he says, stepping forward and slipping a hand into Tsuna-Hibari’s jacket, digging out a pair of tonfas.  “You will remain here until I return.”

Tsuna-Hibari’s eyes narrow.  “Very well, but you will return within the hour, or I’ll bite _you_ to death.”

Yamamoto’s jaw drops a little, as the girl’s snicker.  Is that really Tsuna?  Or did Hibari clone himself?

Hibari-Tsuna looks positively delighted at the reply, and prowls past them and down the stairs.  When he’s out of sight, the eyes relax and Tsuna sighs, heading over to the side of the roof to slump down.

“I really hope he doesn’t break my ankle again” he moans.  “It took forever to heal last time.”

“I wouldn’t hold out much hope” Hana mutters.  “He’s always less careful when he’s angry.”

“You should have let me swap to the extreme” Ryohei insists, and Tsuna just smiles.

“Thanks brother, but he’s right.  He’s been using you too much.”

Yamamoto watches them all with a soft smile, before choosing to slump down beside Tsuna.

“So how many times do you all swap these days?”

Tsuna-Hibari shrugs.  “Kyoko and I, we usually swap 2-3 days a week?  Kyoya really only swaps when he needs to fight someone and thinks the police won’t let him.  I should warn you, if you want to do this again, he’s going to want to use your body sometime.  Brother and I are almost as notorious as he is by now.”

“What about Hana?” Yamamoto asks, glancing at the girl.

“Oh I only swap when there’s an emergency” Hana warns him, wandering over and leaning against the wall aside Kyoko.  “I used to have to cover for the demon monkey since Sawada and Sasagawa couldn’t play him to save their lives, but since Sawada’s perfected the ‘carnivore’ I haven’t really needed to.”

“Now she only swaps when Tsuna or Brother are in danger of failing a class” Kyoko pipes up.  “And then she spends the weekend forcing them to study as punishment.”

Both boys shudder in memory, and Yamamoto can’t help but laugh.

“That would be useful” he muses.  “I usually just go with my gut when it comes to tests, and it doesn’t always work.”

Hana’s rolling her eyes.  “Sawada, would it _kill_ you to kiss someone with an IQ?”

Kyoko has sat down on Tsuna’s other side.  “So…does that mean you want to swap again?” she asks. 

Tsuna winces.  “Kyoko, don’t forget about Reborn.  We can get away with it, but-“

“It was Reborn’s fault you swapped with Yamamoto in the first place” Kyoko argues.  “He can hardly argue if you want to do it again.”

Tsuna hesitates at that, and as one, the two of them glance over at Yamamoto.  He looks away, thinking over the answer.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind doing this again” he admits.  “Not every week or anything, but, maybe every fortnight or once a month?  Getting to be someone else for a day, it was…I dunno…”

“Hana likes the word ‘therapeutic” Tsuna offers, and Yamamoto snaps his fingers.

“Yes!  That” he agrees.  “So…can I?”

Tsuna is already grinning and nodding his head.

“Sure.  It was fun being you for the day.  Just let me know when you want to swap, and we’ll actually prepare for it.”

“Really?”

Something lands on Yamamoto’s shoulder, and he turns to see the baby from earlier.

“Oh hey!” Yamamoto replies.  “I was worried about you.  Tsuna, you know him right?”

For a brief millisecond, Tsuna-Hibari’s eyes widen in shock, before he turns away, closing them and slumping against the wall.

“Hn, the baby wants to train me.  I have refused.”

Yamamoto almost wants to whistle at the reaction.  Judging from the smirk on Reborn’s face, he’s not the only one.

“Considering recent events, I’m rescinding the ban.  This could actually be a skill worthy of a mafia boss.”

He smirked when every teen but Yamamoto hollered out, “He’s not going to be a mafia boss!”  

Tsuna-Hibari however, just opened one eye and glanced over at the hitman, and gave a malicious smirk. 

“Oh?” he replies.  “That’s not very reliable of you.  Do Hitman normally break their own rules?”

Reborn refused to rise to the bait.

“Do not get cocky Dame-Tsuna” he warns.  “If I start to doubt the benefits of your curse, I can change my mind right back.  Now, Hibari is to return in the hour?”

“His target only lives ten minutes away to the extreme!” Ryohei explains, dropping to the ground with crossed legs in front of the group.  “But there’s five patrols watching the area because Hibari’s gone there three times already, so he needed an extreme disguise!”

Reborn nods in understanding.  “And you will remain on this roof until then?”

Tsuna-Hibari nods.  “Sometimes I have to take over his duties, but on such a short trip as this, Hibari prefers discretion.  We have permission to remain on school grounds until he returns, provided we don’t ‘crowd.’”

Kyoko giggles at that, shuffling closer and leaning her head on Tsuna-Hibari’s shoulder. 

“He’s such a prickly hedgehog, but so long as you follow his routines, he’s not that hard to understand.”

By her side, Hana huffed, rifling through her bag and digging out a notebook.

“Regardless, since you’re stuck up here for the foreseeable future and Yamamoto is now joining this happy little insanity-fest, we’re going to study.  I can’t swap with all three of you morons come test time, and I don’t interact with idiots, so dig out your books.  You will all pass with at least average marks or I will end you myself.”

Yamamoto raised his eyebrows and glanced between Ryohei and Tsuna.  The boxer had an awkward smile while Tsuna was pointedly not looking at the girl – both were reaching for their bags.  Ryohei, catching his eye, chuckles.

“Yeah, she’s not joking to the extreme.”

Hana merely reacts by glaring at the baseball player, and Yamamoto takes the hint, standing up to collect his bag by the door.  As his rises, Reborn jumps off his shoulder.

“Nice to know I’ll have some help in the tutoring department” he says, but Hana waves him off.

“I don’t like babies, and I definitely don’t like you” she warns.  “Please do not approach me.”

Reborn just smirks.  “Charming.  Just be grateful I appreciate women with confidence.”

He turns away, heading for the door.  “I’ll leave my student in your capable hands then.  Dame-Tsuna, I’ll see you at the front gate in the hour.  Do **not** make me try to track you down.

With that, the infant vanished, and Tsuna-Hibari sighed in relief.

“Hiei…I can’t believe he agreed.  I thought for sure he’d beat me black and blue.”

Yamamoto chuckled.  “He’s very motivated for a baby.  Have you known him long?”

“No.  He arrived yesterday, told me- well, told Kyoko who was in my body, that I’m apparently the heir to some mafia family in Italy, and I’m going to be the future boss whether I like it or not.”

He finished with a pout, and Yamamoto snickered at the expression on Hibari’s face. 

“Wow, that’s a pretty clever game for a baby.”

Both Tsuna and Hana side eyed Yamamoto, before catching each other’s eyes and deciding it wasn’t worth the fight.

“Well, unless you can figure out a way to convince him to leave town as well, you’re going to have to be a mafia boss, one way or another.”

At that, Tsuna-Hibari pushed himself up and smirked.  “Actually, I think I’ve figured out a way around that.  Reborn actually gave me the idea when he let me swap today.”

Hana raised an eyebrow.  “Oh?  Do tell.”

Tsuna-Hibari grins.  “Well, if the Vongola need an heir, and it has to be a blood relative, maybe I can swap with someone for good!  I mean, it would have to be someone young, I don’t want to swap with an old man, but there must be more than a few younger candidates who would love the job right?”

“And, since everyone you care about already knows about your ability, you could just take their body, and they could take yours back to Italy and start living as the Decimo in your stead” Hana finished.  “That’s…that’s actually pretty smart Sawada.”

“But, would you be okay taking over someone else’s body?” Kyoko asked.  “I mean, that’s a big decision.”

“I admit, it’s not my first choice” Tsuna replies.  “But I am **not** going to become a professional criminal.  If that means I have to become someone else, that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

“Who would you swap with though?” Kyoko asks.  “And how would you find them?”

Tsuna-Hibari shrugged.  “I thought about asking Reborn” he admits.  “But he’s only just agreed to let us keep swapping, and he might think the current boss should get my body.  Maybe it’s best just to keep playing along.  Reborn’s got to introduce some Vongola members to me eventually right?”

“Yeah, I mean, there’s no point in training you to be a boss if you never meet the people you’re going to be boss of” Kyoko theorised.  “It makes sense.”

“Let’s just hope anyone the baby brings is young, male and if you’re very lucky, an upgrade on what you’ve got already” Hana mocked.  “Not that it would take much.  Now, open up your textbooks and recite what you remember about these equations.”

* * *

In a secure base within Namimori Middle, Reborn picked up a phone and dialled a number he’d intended to call yesterday.  

“It’s Reborn.  Give the smoking bomb the green light to travel.”

He then hung up and leaned back in his chair. Originally, Gokudera Hayato should have been given the go ahead to fly yesterday, but Sasagawa Kyoko had wrecked his plans, and the last thing Reborn had needed was adding another variable before he had a handle on the current situation.

However, since banning the swapping was clearly pointless – Tsuna’s dying will made that perfectly clear – Reborn needed some Mafia support to get things back on track.  Besides, Gokudera would actually be a much better addition to Namimori than even Reborn had assumed – his background check (compliments of a horn dog doctor) had listed a passion for the supernatural and bizarre. 

If Tsuna couldn’t win the rookie hitman over mafia-style, his ‘curse’ definitely will.

* * *

The first clue Tsuna had that today was going to be interesting was when Reborn told him over breakfast that he wasn’t to swap today.

Tsuna was already in a foul mood – Reborn had set explosives under his mattress when he hadn’t woken up, he was starting to despair ever getting his hair back under control, so was harsher than intended when he asked why not.

Reborn merely continued eating his rice, before dropping the plate and grabbing the omelette off Tsuna’s before he could react.

“There will be a new student joining your class today” he explained.  “I don’t want a repeat of what happened with me – first impressions are important.”

“New student?” Tsuna repeated, hands wrapped around his plate seconds too late.  “Wait, you mean a _mafia_ student?”

Reborn shrugged and finished eating.

“Who knows?”

The hitman had expected frustration.  His heart sank when Tsuna’s eyes lit up instead.

“Okay, its Kyoko’s day, but I’m sure she’ll understand I can’t swap with her.”

“Oh Tsu-kun, it’s so good of you to be making new friends!” Nana encouraged.

Reborn however, was less enthused. 

Why did he get the feeling he’d missed something important?

* * *

That feeling didn’t dissipate when he watched the surveillance footage from the classroom from one of his bases. 

Tsuna had instantly told Kyoko and Hana about the new student – probably to explain the lack of switching, which mean Ryohei would know soon enough.  Yamamoto, although cordial with the group, didn’t seem aware – the baseball player had apparently decided it would be easier to keep separate from the group whenever he wasn’t masquerading as Tsuna (Reborn would have to see about fixing that, the boy was clearly a natural born hitman and bringing him into the family was non-negotiable).  This was probably why when Gokudera Hayato was introduced to the class, he showed only the barest of curiosity.

Tsuna, Kyoko and Hana however, leaned over their desks so badly Reborn was astonished at least one of them didn’t fall out of their seat.

Tsuna and Kyoko being excited?  Fine – neither of them ever acted how he wanted them to, but Hana was the closest thing the group had to a rational brain, and the most negative towards Reborn’s presence.  She should have been looking at an interloper with disdain and suspicion to counter her friend’s enthusiasm.

Instead, her eyes travelled up Gokudera’s frame like a tiger sizing up a chunk of meat.  When she leaned back, those eyes were calculating, and the smirk on her face had the hairs on Reborn’s neck standing on end.

What on earth were they all thinking?  He doubted they’d all suddenly become gung-ho about the mafia overnight.

Perhaps they thought convincing Gokudera of Tsuna’s inadequacy would be enough to ward off Reborn?  Ridiculous, and one they’d quickly have to discard once Tsuna proved his nature to the hitman.  If the Smoking Bomb was anything like his sister (and between Shamal’s reports and the psychological profiles provided from his sources, he very much _was)_ , they’d never convince him of the truth once he’d established his own.

Still…probably best to make certain Tsuna met with Gokudera alone when the bomber called him out.

\---

Gokudera Hayato looked as happy as a cat in the rain.  Tsuna had chosen to ignore that however in exchange for looking over the teen who could only have been sent by Reborn.  Why else would an Italian student appear at Namimori?

He couldn’t help but look the teen over – admittedly he’d only had his body-swapping-to-get-our-of-heirship idea a few days ago, but if Gokudera is mafia…it might not be too hard to convince him. 

If nothing else, the glare on his face whenever he looks in Tsuna’s direction suggests he doesn’t want to be here.  If Tsuna can’t convince him, maybe he can use him to convince Reborn to leave him alone.

However, when Gokudera ignored the teacher and came storming over to Tsuna, sending his desk flying, that glee quickly turned to terror.

“Hiei!”

“Hey!”

Kyoko gets to her feet, hands slamming on her desk.  Tsuna flinches, and Gokudera swings his head round to glare at the girl.

“Apologise to Tsuna, right now” she insists, unflinching towards the stormy gaze.  Gokudera however, just snorts in derision, choosing to move towards his seat.  Only to stop as Kyoko moves into the aisle, blocking his path.

“You might be new, but that’s no excuse to be mean” she warns, arms akimbo.  “Apologise now.”

Gokudera snarls, head glancing back at Tsuna for a brief moment, before forcing past Kyoko, girl all but tripping over a chair, and throwing himself into his seat.  Tsuna is on his feet in an instant, Hana not far behind, only to stop as Kyoko stumbles up, holding a hand to her face as her eyes start to glimmer with unshed tears.

She whimpers, and it throws Tsuna off for a moment, because he’s taken enough knocks to know Gokudera did **not** hit her that hard, and Kyoko is not the fragile doll people thinks she is.  The second he stumbles over to check her over though, he has to bite down on his lip when he sees the smirk hidden by her hand.

The outcry in the class is immediate.

“You jerk!”

“Are you okay Kyoko?”

“I can’t believe you hit a girl!”

“How dare you hurt Kyoko!”

“You’re a real idiot huh?  Tsuna’s probably gonna do to you what he did to Mochida!”

Half the class is lunging towards Kyoko, while Gokudera pales in his seat when he realises the other half is glaring at him with vengeance.  Hana just smirks, pushing throw the hoard, and pulling Tsuna and Kyoko close.

“You know, for someone so big on defending yourself, you really know how to work the defenceless damsel” she whispers.  Kyoko stifles the giggle.

“Well, needs must right?”

“Kyoko!” Tsuna hisses.

“Oh calm down Sawada” Hana snaps.  “What if that had been Kyoko in your body?  It’s supposed to be _her_ day after all.”

Tsuna’s eyes narrow, etiquette failing at the implication.

“Point.”

“Okay, okay!” their teacher cries.  “Everyone back to their seats, please!”

Reluctantly, Hana and Tsuna pull away, and class begins.

Within five minutes, Gokudera’s already been pelted by 3 paper aeroplanes and accidentally whacked by his neighbours twice.

It’s a pattern that continues most of the day.

* * *

Hayato isn’t really sure what the hell he’s doing in Namimori.

Oh, he understands the chain of events that led up to this point, but it’s becoming clear he should have protested at some point, because right now one of the best amateur hitmen in Italy is in danger of being compromised by a class of Japanese _middle schoolers_.

How the hell was he supposed to know that the pretty redhead was not only the future Tenths girlfriend, but the most popular girl in class?  Besides, he’d barely touched her!  He knows his own strength, knows better than to cause damage to non-combatants – not that anyone had listened to _his_ side, there’s a big surprise.

One stupid mistake, and he’s already screwed everything up.  He keeps trying to get Sawada alone, but the entire class are stalking him, refusing to let him give chase and call Sawada out.  At lunch, both Sawada and the red head vanish out the door, and by the time Gokudera manages to scare off Kyoko’s self-proclaimed protection squad, he doesn’t have the slightest clue where they’ve gone.  He ends up eating lunch at his desk, mood worsening by the second and wishing he’d done more than a few hours’ reconnaissance before enrolling.

Frankly, he’s not even sure why he’s still here.  Even if Sawada Tsunayoshi turns out to be the best boss in existence, Hayato hurt his girl.  He knows Mafioso who have killed family for less. Why the hell would he do anything but send Gokudera packing?

No, that’s a lie, he knows damn well why he hasn’t.  Despite this fiasco, he hasn’t seen Reborn yet – which means the World’s Greatest Hitman doesn’t think the situation is completely unsalvageable and isn’t about to execute him to keep the future Vongola boss’s location secret.  Which is most decidedly will if he catches wind of the Smoking Bomb booking it out of the city.  The hitman must have faith that Gokudera can somehow turn this around.

The Italian wishes he could borrow some of that optimism, because he’s sure as hell doesn’t.

“My, my, looks like somebody’s having a bad day.”

Gokudera pauses, and looks up from his convenience store lunch as the black haired girl pulls the seat opposite his desk around and sits down.

“I’m Kurokawa Hana.  My friends call me Hana, but you can call me Kurokawa-sama.”

“Piss off!” he snaps, channelling as much rage into his eyes as he dares in a civilian building.  It’s scared off most of the boys, and all of the fangirls who found his ‘angry bully’ vibe _fascinating._   This one however, merely scoffs, elbow leaning on the desk while her hand supports her head.

“That’s adorable monkey, but you’ve got nothing on our resident psycho” she mocks.  “Besides, you want to talk to me.”

Gokudera scoffs, returning to his lunch.  “Yeah, and why’s that?”

“Vongola.”

Her reply has him choking on piece of chicken.  She snickers and hands him his bottle of water, before leaning back to assess him.  Gokudera, once recovered, can’t help but do the same.

Now that he’s paying attention, he recognises her as the first person to join Sawada Tsunayoshi at his girlfriend’s side.  Which means she’s probably a friend of both of them.  But she’s definitely _not_ a hitman.  Gokudera doesn’t care _how_ good you are; nobody can fake civilian that well.  There are tells in your gait, in your shoulders, how you enter a room.  This girl is hitting none of them.

“That’s a strange thing for you to know” he warns, and Hana shrugs.

“I have strange friends” she admits.  “And if you ever want to meet them properly, which I’m assuming you do, you’ll hear what I have to say.”

Gokudera leans back, assessing her with new respect.  Part of him is spitting teeth at the thought of obeying a civilian in mafia matters, but considering the alternatives, he doesn’t have much choice.

“Fine, I’m listening.”

Hana rolls her eyes.  “Such a monkey.”

She leans forward again.  “Tsuna wants to know who you are, and what you’re doing here.  We already know that baby is responsible for your arrival, but we don’t know why.  And Tsuna doesn’t want to be within fifty feet of you until he knows that.”

Smart guy, Gokudera thinks.  Fifty feet would be hard even for him.

Not _impossible,_ he **is** a ranged fighter after all, but pretty damn hard.

Well, it’s not anything he hadn’t intended on telling the future tenth anyway…

“My name really is Gokudera Hayato” he replies.  “I work as a freelance hitman under the name ‘The Smoking Bomb.’”

Hana sniffs the air, nose curling as she takes note of the packet not fully concealed in his jacket.  “Charming.  And freelance?  Not Vongola?”

Gokudera glares, and pulls out a stick of dynamite.  It’s hardly the first time someone’s taken issue with his underage habit, but he won’t let this civilian underestimate him for it.  He smirks when her eyes go wide, realising what he’s showing her.

A moment later, and the dynamite vanishes.

“Sawada is new blood, so they want to test him with new blood rather than someone loyal to the Ninth or another candidate,” he continues.  “And I’m here, because when Reborn, the World’s Greatest Hitman, calls you with a job, you **don’t** say no.”

The girl’s eyes become more calculating.  “And what’s the job?”

His eyes narrow.  “A test, and an interview.  He wants to test the heir against a hitman his age, see his nature in an actual fight to the death.”

It’s only for an instant, but Gokudera spots Hana’s hands clench.  He’ll give her props, for a civilian she has an _excellent_ poker face.

“You’re here to kill him?” she asks, and Gokudera hesitates.

There’s no doubt in his mind she’ll tell the heir his answer, and it sort of ruins the exercise if Sawada knows, so…half-truth.

“That’s what the job requested” he replies.  “He’s the only heir – If I’m strong enough to kill him, it’s probably best he dies now before someone serious finds out about him.  Reborn is probably hoping he can take me out without killing me.  If I survive, I’ll become his subordinate.”

That’s as much as he’s willing to admit to.  He’s well aware that if he actually manages to kill the heir, Reborn will kill him.  But he’s at least got to make it look good, so he’ll still be coming at him with lethal force.  Best Sawada knows that.

Her eyes narrow.  “Subordinate?”

“Mafia law states that when two Mafioso with no confirmed ties fight, the loser serves the winner” Gokudera explains.  “Since Sawada’s still just a candidate, he’s not officially affiliated with Vongola yet.  It’s how a lot of new families start.”

Hana nods, though Gokudera doesn’t like the glint that’s appeared in her eye.

“Is that what you want though?  To be a subordinate?”

Gokudera gives her a condescending smirk.

“You’re a civilian, so you won’t get it” he says.  “Vongola is the most prestigious of all the mafia families.  Freelancers spend their entire lives trying to earn an invitation into the family.  To get a chance like this…I can’t pass it up.”

His eyes darken.

“Of course, that’s only if Sawada’s worthy of being called the tenth.  I won’t bow under a scumbag, no matter how powerful or important they might be.  I don’t have much, but I still have my pride.”

He grins, and decides to add the bullshit story Reborn told him.  He doesn’t believe a word of it, and it's not something he wants anyway, but it should help terrify his opponent.

“If I win, Reborn says I’ll become eligible to become the tenth myself.”

He falters when Hana’s eyes light up. 

“Really?” she all but purrs.  “This is probably the point I should tell you our little Sawada has no interest in the title and will happily give it to you.”

Gokudera shakes his head.  “Doesn’t work that way” he warns. 

“So if you lose, you become a subordinate, and if you win you get a chance to be boss yourself” Hana clarifies, still smiling.  “I know what I’d prefer.”

“Well of course!” Gokudera snaps, hoping the anger can hide the lie.  “Who wouldn’t want to lead the most important familia in Italy?”

Sawada Tsunayoshi apparently, but that’s beside the point.

Hana leans in, and Gokudera grimaces at the almost…dare he say lustful? Look on her face.

“Well enough about that” she says.  “Let’s find out more about you.  Any family?”

He growls.  “No.”

None that he considers family anyway.

“Anyone that might notice you going missing?”

He flinches at that, muscles tensing.  This interrogation is taking an odd turn.

“Yes.”

No.  At least, nobody that would care.  Hana merely holds her hands up in surrender, though it’s clear she doesn’t believe him at all.

“Just making sure that if Sawada screws up and kills you that we won’t have some other hitman showing up to avenge you” she soothes.  “Now how about your medical history…”

* * *

“He’s practically perfect!” Hana declares, striding into the gym that hosted Namimori’s boxing ring.  Tsuna and Kyoko, who’d been hiding out while Ryohei put his more devoted through some afternoon training, perked up.  She sits down beside them and brandishes a notebook.

“No family, nobody who’ll come looking for him, no genetic defects, decent athletic prowess, and if he wasn’t lying about his grades, his brain is prime A steak” she explains.  “Only issue is his pack-a-day smoking habit – we’ll need to buy you some nicotine patches but frankly, that would be a small price to pay.”

“Really?” Kyoko asks.  “And he’d be okay with swapping?”

Hana scoffs and waves her hand.  “I didn’t come out and say something that obvious, but he wants to be the boss and the only way he can do it is if he kills you.  If he fails he has to be your subordinate, and I think we can all agree we don’t want that.”

Tsuna nods.  It almost sounds too good to be true.  He pushes to his feet, pulling Kyoko up and letting Hana follow, heading for the door.  Lunch is almost over and it would be best to be in the classroom before the bell rang to speak to Gokudera.

“So what’s Reborn planning to make him do?”

“The plan is to challenge you” Hana tells him.  “Probably meet outside on the playing field and attack you.  Word of warning, he uses explosives, so you’ll want to explain things at close range in case he gets trigger happy.”

“Thanks” Tsuna says.  “I’m not really sure how this is going to go, but I can’t pass this up.  Hana, can I borrow your notebook?”

Hana hands it over, and Tsuna scribbles something down on a blank sheet before ripping it out and returning the notebook to its owner.

When they finally return to the classroom, Gokudera’s eyes are instantly on Tsuna.  The boy bites back the terror from the boy’s glare, and slips the paper onto the Italians desk before darting over to his own.

There’s not much written on the paper.  Just a promise to meet him outside after school with a proposition. 

From the way Gokudera’s shoulders drop in relief, he accepts.

* * *

When the bell rings, Gokudera holds back until the classroom is empty to make his way out onto the field.  Sawada Tsunayoshi is already there, wringing his hands while he speaks to-

“You must be Reborn” Gokudera greets, wondering if he should bow.  “The hitman the Vongola Ninth trusts the most.”

He was shorter than Gokudera had expected.  Of course, he’d heard rumours of the Arcobaleno curse, but to actually see it in person…

The occult-loving side of his brain was jumping up and down, but was ruthlessly crushed by the part of him that didn’t want to die via insulting someone who could call himself ‘World’s Greatest’ and back it up.

“It better be true that I can become a candidate for the Tenth if I beat this guy” he continues, brandishing several dynamite.  Since ‘Kurokawa-sama’ had no doubt told him everything, there was no point in beating around the bush.

To his astonishment, Sawada barely even flinches.  Instead he’s all smiles, hands up – to make himself unassuming, rather than in surrender.

“Hey now, I thought you had to be related to be eligible.”

“Who knows” Reborn replies.  “But if you don’t want to die, you’ll need to fight with your all.”

Tsuna however, just shakes his head.

“What if I said there was a way you could be boss without killing me” Tsuna asks.

Reborn’s eyes narrowed, and Gokudera froze at the level of killing intent thrown in his direction.

“Gokudera.  The test starts NOW!”

Tsuna jerks in his direction, but Gokudera doesn’t hesitate, lighting his dynamite before tossing it in Tsuna’s direction.  The boy pales dramatically, and lunges to the side, shrieking as the explosion sends him flying.

“Reborn!”

* * *

From his position, Reborn sighs in relief as Gokudera performs as expected.  That had been too close.  Perhaps he’d been too quick to remove the ban on swapping.

Of course, his student’s delightful little habit means he doesn’t dare use the dying will bullet.  Tsuna might be in mortal peril, but he’s quickly learning not to assume Tsuna will react the way he expects.  He’s going to have to work around that eventually – Vongola’s heir has to eventually master dying will, and the bullet is the fastest and most effective way to do that.  He’d assumed putting him in a life or death situation would be safe – but from what Tsuna had been suggesting before Gokudera attacked, Reborn had seriously miscalculated.

For now, he’d just have to settle for watching how Tsuna reacted outside of dying will.  Credit where credit was due, the teen could _move._   He’d realised running too far was pointless, the bomber had the advantage with distance, so was staying in a radius where Gokudera had to be careful lest he get caught in the blast himself.  However, it also meant Tsuna had less time to react to whatever Gokudera tossed in his direction, and one slip up was all the hitman needed.

* * *

Gokudera cursed as his fifth attempt to force Tsuna further away failed, the boy stumbling to his feet and trying to speak.  He’d already stopped throwing dynamite directly at Tsuna, and instead aimed along his avenues of escape, trying to get the range his bombs really needed.  He’d taken to throwing double the number of bombs to try and herd his opponent, but it just wasn’t having any effect. 

He didn’t know who taught Sawada Tsunayoshi to avoid fast and lethal objects, but they’d clearly known what they were doing.  Civilians were supposed to run away from danger, not hover around it with the nervousness of a high strung poodle.

He cursed when Tsuna tripped, stumbled and then somehow rolled exactly in the opposite direction Gokudera wanted him too, narrowly avoiding the explosion but still staying within ten feet of Gokudera yet again. 

That’s it.  Screw holding back, his pride’s on the line here.  Vongola want lethal force, they’ll get lethal force!

His hands go for yet more bombs, fingers shaking from the weight.

“Triple bomb!”

He manages to light them, smirks at his opponents horrified face, makes to throw-

-and coughs on cigarette smoke as his grip fails and his bombs fall around him.

“Shit!”

Tsuna froze at the dynamite fallen to the ground, surrounding Gokudera.  The teen was paling dramatically, and Tsuna rushed towards him.  Gokudera barely noticed, too focused on the fuses shrinking far too fast.

“This is the end for me…”

Suddenly, his opponent was in front of him, dropping to his knees as he grabbed dynamite and tossed it away.  Once there was a path, Tsuna lunged towards him, grabbing Gokudera’s shoulders, and forcing his lips against his.  Gokudera closes his eyes almost automatically, and when they open again, he’s staring at himself.

“Wait, but…what?” Gokudera splutters.

He doesn’t have time to process the action, as his doppelganger grabs his jacket and tosses him out of the blast radius just before the bombs explode.  The last thing he sees is the not-him crashing to the ground from the blast’s impact, before his head hits the ground and everything goes dark.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

When Gokudera wakes up, it’s to a white roof in the nurse’s office.  He just stares at it in confusion for a moment, before struggling to sit up.

There’s something wrong – he can tell that immediately.  For one thing, his skin is not that tanned, and his hair should be flopping in his face.  A quick run through finds his hair is wiry and apparently resistant to gravity, and when he takes a closer look, his fingers – though calloused, don’t have a single burn.  He doesn’t recognize a single scratch or scar on them.

“I hope you understand how serious this is.”

Gokudera’s head jerked up.  Reborn was standing on the bed, arms cross and scowling.

“Reborn?” he said, and his eyes widened as he remembered what had happened before he blacked out.

“Wait!  Where’s Sawada?  What happened?”

The hitman gritted his teeth, clenching the brim of his hat.

“Quick debrief.  Sawada Tsunayoshi has the ability to swap bodies with anyone he kisses.  Before your bombs activated, Tsuna swapped with you and threw you to safety.  He was not so lucky, and has been sent to hospital.”

Gokudera-Tsuna paled as Reborn’s glare pierced through him.

“I’m sure you can understand that whatever ruse Tsuna believed, you are _not_ an eligible candidate for the Decimo.  Now that you’re awake, we’re going to the hospital, and _you_ will endure the injuries your own foolishness caused.”

“He’s still alive?” Gokudera-Tsuna gasps, because okay, he’d reduced the gunpowder so that it would have been really hard to actually kill the heir even by accident, but that had been _a lot_ of dynamite around him.

“Tsuna managed to throw enough out of the way to reduce the blast, and your body is apparently used to taking heavy hits” Reborn explained.  “He’s unconscious, and he came very close to shattering his spine, but in the end nothing that you won’t recover from.”

Well, not entirely.  Reborn had all but drowned the teen in sun flames to keep him out of critical harm, but that hardly needed to be common knowledge.

Gokudera didn’t seem all that relieved, instead breaking eye contact and staring at his hands in a state of shock.  Reborn scowled at the lack of reaction, but both were distracted by the door opening.

“Oh, you’re awake?  It’s about time.”

“Tsuna is truly extreme!”

The two hitman looked up as Hana and Ryohei walked through the door.

“We’re here to escort you” Hana explained, anger written all over her face.  “Apparently, something as simple as a transfer of power is too difficult for Sawada to explain.”

“You weren’t supposed to wreck your body to the extreme!” Ryohei added.  “That’s extremely not fair!”

Gokudera frowned.

“Wait...Sawada _wanted_ to swap with me?”

Hana rolled her eyes.  “Duh.  He doesn’t want to be Decimo, and you do.  You don’t have any family, obligations or nasty medical problems, so we figured you’d just swap identities.  He’d live here as Gokudera, while you could fly back to Italy as Sawada Tsunayoshi and everyone would be happy.  If I’d known you were going to put him in a coma, I might have suggested otherwise!”

“Clearly I’m not to leave you fools alone for any length of time” Reborn mutters. 

Hana just snorts and waves a hand dismissively.  “Yeah, yeah.  Anyway, Kyoko’s watching over Tsuna, so let’s get going and fix this.”

Gokudera didn’t move, so Reborn jumped up, kicking the teen in the head and sending him crashing to the ground.

“Get up and start walking.”

* * *

None of his bodyguards seemed particularly interested in talking to him while they made their way to the hospital, a fact that Gokudera was appreciative of on the grounds that he wasn’t all that interested in talking to them.  Not when he was living an article from ‘The Occult and I.’

Body swapping.

He had swapped bodies with another human being.

And not just any human being.  The future heir of Vongola – one of the most desirable and wanted human beings on the planet.

Part of him, the part that still insisted that the laws of science could not be broken (despite many, many Mafioso proving the contrary every single day), was positive it was a trick.  Something caused by an illusionist or drugs.

But he’s immune to most drugs, and although he’s not fantastic at breaking illusions, none of the tricks Shamal taught him when he was feeling charitable are having any effect.  This is _real._

He’s stared at his hands so many times he could probably draw them from memory by now, so moves his attention to the rest of his new body.  It’s definitely shorter – he’s stumbled a few times from overreaching, but there’s a promise of muscle in his limbs hidden under the baby fat.  It takes more effort to move, the limbs not used to heavy duty exercise, and clearly never gone without a soft bed, but it’s not a painful switch.

Eyeing up his watchers, he moves his hands up to his face, taking in the soft cheeks and stubby nose, the big eyes and the manic hair.  Absolutely nothing is the same, and the sensations he gets from touching his body and recognising nothing is unnerving at best.

At that moment, Hana catches what he’s doing, and slaps his hands away.

“Hey!  Until Sawada wakes up, no touchie the merchandise.”

He scowls, and rubs his hands, stinging from the action.  This body is too sensitive in all the wrong ways.

* * *

When they make it to the hospital, Kyoko is sitting next to Tsuna-Gokudera’s bed, looking like she’s the one that had been in a battle for her life.  She lights up when she spots Hana and her brother, flanking Gokudera-Tsuna into the room.

“Gokudera, you’re awake” she says, leaping up and grabbing his hands.  “I was so worried.  How are you feeling?”

“Uhh…”

“It doesn’t matter!” Hana interrupted.  “Let’s get them swapped.  Once Tsuna’s back on his feet and the mad monkey has recovered from his stupidity, then we can worry about how he feels.”

She shoves Gokudera-Tsuna towards the bed.  “Go turn into sleeping beauty.”

He scowls almost instinctively, but Kyoko gives him an encouraging nod and he leans one hand on the mattress and bends over.

“Wait!  Lie on the bed” Kyoko interrupts, causing him to jerk up.  “If Tsuna is still unconscious when he swaps, he’ll fall and hurt himself.  It’ll be safer if he can recover on the bed.”

Gokudera-Tsuna nods, doing as she asks and looms over his body.

Wow, he’d never realized just how pale his skin was.  Though maybe most of that was from the injury.

“So…I just kiss him?” he asks, and sees all three of the teens in the door nod.

“On the lips” Hana tells him.  “Doesn’t have to be big or intimate, just a quick peck and you’re done.”

Gokudera-Tsuna gulps, and bends down, hesitating for a moment, before darting in and giving him the quickest kiss he can…before pulling back.

“Tsuna?” Kyoko asks, as the boy pulls back from the comatose teen.

Gokudera-Tsuna just stares back.

“Nothing happened.”

* * *

“Okay, there’s no need to panic” Hana said, though her frantic pacing suggested otherwise.  “Clearly, there are rules to the curse that we weren’t aware of before now.  Tsuna clearly just needs to be conscious in order to swap.”

Kyoko nods, though her arms are wrapped around her, fingers digging into her sleeves.  “That’s probably it” she admits.  “I mean, Tsuna’s swapped with unconscious people before, but we’ve never tried swapping when he sleeps.”

From the room, Reborn overhead the conversation, and hoped (prayed) that they were right.  If nothing else, it would take away one of the biggest fears such an ability could offer.  That someone could swap with Tsuna without his knowledge.  If Tsuna had to be conscious (if not necessarily consensual), it would solve a lot of problems.

He could use that good news considering how bad everything else had gone.  As of this moment, he had five missed calls from the Vongola Ninth, no doubt wanting to know how Tsuna and Gokudera’s fight went.  Reborn was choosing to appreciate voicemail up until Tsuna woke up, and he could actually explain what happened without, well, explaining what happened.

Gokudera had tried a few times to force the switch, trying longer kisses, before accepting that it wasn’t happening and letting Ryohei guide him out.  The teen was now sitting on a bench in the hall, hands clenching his knees while the other three debated their next option.

Unfortunately, outside of channeling as much sun flames as he dared without overloading a sealed sky’s system, the only thing he could do, was wait for his student to wake up.

* * *

What if he doesn’t wake up?

Gokudera can’t stop shaking.  His knees start to feel hurt, so he forces his hands to let go and wrap around his chest.

The Vongola Decimo had considered him worthy of the title.  Had been willing to give his life to save his – a man who as far as he knew, had been trying to kill him.

The bomber almost felt nauseous, hands tugging at his hair.

To think that such an incredible person existed in this world!  Someone that didn’t judge Gokudera by his blood or his actions, but considered him worthy just be existing.

And Gokudera might have just killed him.  Might very well be forced into the role he had no desire to have in the first place.  He gives a mirthless chuckle at that – he truly does destroy anything he touches.

It’s been a long time since Gokudera Hayato prayed, but he gave a silent request with clasped hands in that hallway.

_‘Please let him wake up._

_Please don’t take away my boss before I can pay him back._

_Please let me be Gokudera Hayato, the right hand of Sawada Tsunayoshi, the Vongola Tenth.’_

* * *

It was nearly 9pm before Tsuna finally regained consciousness.  It may very well have been longer, had it not been for the sporadic bursts of sun flames administered by the baby in the room when the nurses and teens weren’t watching.  When his eyes focused, he was staring into the face of a very relieved Kyoko.

“Kyoko, why don’t we give them a moment?” Hana said, taking her friend by the shoulders and guiding her out.  When the door closed with a definitive ‘click,’ Tsuna-Gokudera turned to the teen currently possessing his body.

“Good evening Gokudera” he said, smiling at the bomber.  “Are you okay?”

Gokudera-Tsuna didn’t think his face had ever looked so peaceful.  It was by far the strangest thing he’d ever done, but he found himself clambering onto the bed, pinning the boy in his body down, before slamming his head onto his doppleganger’s chest in a truly dramatic and ridiculous bow.

“I was wrong!” he yells.  “You truly are a man worthy to be the Tenth!”

Tsuna’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“I was trying to kill you” Gokudera continued.  “And when my own foolishness would see me dead, you took my place.  Not only that, but you, who had known me only a few hours had faith I could be trusted with the family.  How could I not promise loyalty to a man capable of such kindness?”

Tsuna-Gokudera blanched.  “I-It wasn’t like that.”

Really, it wasn’t.  There had been no faith or kindness involved.  Tsuna just didn’t want to be a boss and was happy to load it on someone who did.  If he hadn’t swapped, Gokudera might have died, and even if the teen was attacking him, Tsuna couldn’t just let that happen.  Gokudera had so much going for him, he couldn’t die then.

Unfortunately, Gokudera didn’t seem to understand that, instead choosing to see Tsuna’s rather selfish act as some kind of grand gesture.  He tried to wriggle out, only to find Gokudera-Tsuna looming over him, pressing his lips against his.

The relief of leaving a battered body for one relatively unharmed was soothing, although Gokudera didn’t quite manage to muffle the instinctive curse as the pain hit him.  He recovered quickly though, a hand coming up to grab Tsuna’s jacket.

“I promise, I will be the best right hand you could ever hope for.”

“G-Gokudera…”

The door slammed open.

“Sawada, have you swapped yet?  Kyoko’s starting to get wor…ried.”

They both flung their heads in the direction of the door.  Hana was standing there, eyes wide.  Behind her, Ryohei stared at her in concern.

“Are you okay Hana?  You’ve gone extremely red!”

“I’m fine!” Hana squeaked a little too quickly, cheeks flushed.  “Absolutely fine.”

Tsuna swallowed and chuckled nervous, before shifting himself off the bed.  Gokudera adjusted himself so he was sitting up, and grinned at his new boss.

“Don’t worry Tenth!” he said.  “I’ll be out and by your side before you know it.”

“Please, don’t call me Tenth” Tsuna begged.  “And I don’t want to be a mafia boss.  Can’t we just be friends?”

He squeaked and jerked back as Gokudera’s face turned stormy, eyes stubborn and unyielding.

“I refuse.”

From the chair at the side of the bed, Reborn smirked, jumping from his post to Tsuna’s shoulder.

“Congratulations Tsuna.  Thanks to your actions, you’ve gained your first follower.”

“THAT WAS NOT MY INTENT!”

Reborn ignores him, instead jumping up and kicking his student towards the door, only narrowly missing Hana due to Ryohei grabbing her to the side.  The room now empty, he turns to face the bomber left in the bed.

“You’ve passed the test” Reborn tells him.  “Consider yourself a probationary member of Vongola.”

Gokudera nods, pride beaming from his face.  “I won’t let him down Reborn.”

The hitman grins, and heads out to his student. 

All things considered, today could have gone worse.  As it is, Tsuna has a mafia minion and Reborn has a better grasp of his character.  Admittedly, the teen has revealed some rather frightening personality traits, but nothing Reborn can’t beat out of him in time.

But first, he needs to explain to his dear student why his little plan to pass on the Vongola baton wouldn’t have worked, and exactly what would happen if he tried again.

* * *

Tsuna groaned, rubbing his head as Ryohei helped him up.

“You know, I’m still not sure Gokudera didn’t give me a concussion, should he really be hitting me?” he moaned.

“Oh don’t you even start Sawada” Hana snapped.  “The _second_ that monkey started throwing dynamite, you should have stopped talking and started running.”

“I couldn’t Hana!” Tsuna insisted.  “Reborn was right there, and he figured out what I was doing.  Even if I’d been able to run away, Reborn would probably have told Gokudera and made sure he wouldn’t agree even if he wanted to.”

“Still stupid Sawada!”

“I thought it was extreme!”

Hana whacked Ryohei on the back of the head.

“Not the point moron!”

“Hana, calm down!” Kyoko begged, pulling Tsuna away while her friend rounded on her brother.  “What’s done is done.  And everything turned out okay.”

Tsuna smiled.  “Thanks Kyoko.  Although, I get the feeling Gokudera’s definitely not going to swap now.”

“Which is the only reason I’m not beating you up for this transgression” Reborn said, walking out the room and jumping onto Tsuna’s head.

“Ah, Reborn!” Tsuna squeaked.

“Swapping with Gokudera wouldn’t have been an option anyway” Reborn warns.  “If you’d mentioned your plan, I’d have told you it was futile, if for no other reason than Gokudera _doesn’t have sky flames.”_

“Why does that matter?” Tsuna asked, and Reborn sighed.

“Because Vongola require a blood heir with sky flames” he explained.  “It’s why Kyoko was such a shock in your body.  If you didn’t have sky flames, your lineage wouldn’t matter because you couldn’t inherit anyway.”

Hana blinks, and her eyes turn calculating.

“…So, is there a way to change flames or-”

Reborn scoffs.  “Technically?  Yes, so long as you have any flame _other_ than sky, so I wouldn’t look too hard into that.”

Tsuna droops.

* * *

Despite Tsuna’s concussion worries, all of the teens were sent home, and as Tsuna waved goodbye to Kyoko and Ryohei on their street, Reborn decided to get an answer to the question that had been preying on his mind since Tsuna swapped with Gokudera.  He chose to walk alongside the teen rather than ride on his shoulder, and Tsuna glanced down at him once he dropped to the ground.

“So, Dame-Tsuna, I just have one last question regarding this whole incident” Reborn said, and Tsuna sighed. 

“What is it Reborn?  You know I’m serious about not becoming a mafia boss, and there’s no way I’m not going to use all my options to get out of it.”

Reborn nods.  “Yes, but that’s not the question.”

“Then what do want to know?”

“Why are you so willing to die?”

Tsuna froze in the street, eyes widening momentarily before giving a nervous chuckle.

“Die?  I don’t want to die Reborn.”

The hitman didn’t look convinced.

“Oh?  There were a dozen things you could have done to save Gokudera.  You could have tried to de-ignite the fuses, you could have thrown even more of them away, you could have even tried dragging him away.  Instead, you forced him to swap and threw him clear, resulting in you taking the maximum damage.  You chose self-sacrifice over an attempt to save you both.”

The hitman contemplated jumping back onto Tsuna to keep him from moving, before deciding against it and just maintaining eye contact, eyes piercing into his students.

“I want to know why that was your instinctive option.”

Tsuna paused in the street, pondering the question.

Why had his first instinct been to swap?  He hadn’t realised it at the time, but now that he thought about it, running would have made a lot more sense.  They’re might even have been time to get them both out of the way.  But he hadn’t even tried, and instead focused completely on getting Gokudera to safety.

“I guess…I just didn’t want to watch him die.” Tsuna replies.  “I didn’t really know him, but the way Hana spoke about him, I thought it would be bad if he died.  I don’t want to be a mafia boss, and he did.  If I died and he didn’t, then everyone would get what they wanted.”

Reborn’s eyes narrowed.  “So you have a death wish?”

“No!” Tsuna protested.  “I don’t _want_ to die.”

His face fell.

“I just…I don’t want someone to die if I can save them.  Is that so bad?”

Reborn frowned.

“No, but when you deliberately pick the option most dangerous to you, despite there being other options, that’s not heroic, it’s just stupid.”

“I wasn’t trying to be heroic-“

Reborn jumps up and kicks him in the head, sending Tsuna crashing to the ground.

“You have issues with ‘heroic’ but not ‘stupid?”  You just proved my point Dame-Tsuna.”

Tsuna winced.  “Don’t call me that.”

A moment later, his tutor landed on his head.

“I’ll stop using it when you stop acting like it, Dame-Tsuna” Reborn warned.  “Now get up.  Your real training starts tomorrow, so I’d advise on getting a good night’s sleep.”

He smirks at his students groan, and jumps down to his shoulder as he stands up.

“I don’t suppose if I promise to let you borrow my body tomorrow you’ll let me off easy?” Tsuna asks, though the tone suggested he didn’t expect Reborn to accept.  Reborn begins to scoff, only to pause…

His student can swap bodies…

Reborn can’t stop looking at Tsuna’s face.  He really shouldn’t…

And yet.

For five minutes?  It couldn’t hurt, right?  Just five minutes of not being a toddler…

Tsuna was staring at him in confusion, and he was already starting to lean in, when his pacifier flashed and he jerked back.

“Don’t be ridiculous Dame-Tsuna” Reborn snaps.  “What would the World’s Greatest Hitman do with a  body like yours?”

He ignores the groan at the nickname, and clenches his fists as Tsuna starts walking back home.

What the _hell_ was he thinking?  He’d made his peace with the curse – there was no way the world’s greatest was going to succumb to something as ridiculous as this.

No way at all.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamamoto breaks his arm, but things go a little differently this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I really debated over whether to keep Yamamoto's incident in this story, given that he'd found escape in Tsuna, but honestly it's such a big part of Yamamoto's character, and worked so well to get things where I needed them that I felt it had to stay.

**Chapter 12**

Tsuna had gone to visit Gokudera every afternoon, just to see how the other teen was, and was still getting thrown by the sheer adulation being thrown his way.  He desperately hoped it was something the other teen would learn to tone down with time.  The bomber was due to be released early next week, and Tsuna was already dreading his antics on the class.

Hopefully, as someone used to secrets, he wouldn’t keep worshipping Tsuna if he was in someone else’s body.  They might be able to get away with Gokudera being a loyal dog to Kyoko in addition to Tsuna – not so much Hibari and Yamamoto.

Speaking of which – Tsuna-Yamamoto’s eyes narrowed as he watched the ball heading his way and ran towards it.  A quick half leap and the baseball slams into his mitt.  A second later and his body is turning, the ball thrown in the direction of the umpire.

“Awesome!”

“Way to go Yamamoto!”

Tsuna-Yamamoto just chuckles good naturedly, and catches the eye of Yamamoto-Tsuna, who is watching him with a similar grin.  Tsuna, for all he tries, can’t play baseball at the same level Yamamoto can, but in a basic PE game, it’s more than enough to pass.  On the other hand, Yamamoto-Tsuna has to hold back or risk people thinking Tsuna is a budding baseball-prodigy given that Yamamoto’s instincts are still top notch.

With both of them on the same team, it’s not hard to score victory, and as their prize, their team ends up getting out of cleaning duty.  Tsuna-Yamamoto waves off cheers from their side, and slips away from the Yamamoto’s baseball friends to make his way to the roof.

Yamamoto-Tsuna is already there, sprawled out on the floor and watching the clouds.  He glances over and grins as Tsuna walks over, one hand up in a lazy wave.

“Yo, Tsuna.  Looking good out there.”

Tsuna grins, and joins him on the floor.

He really loves it when Yamamoto wants a day off.  It’s only been 3 times so far, but Yamamoto’s body is by far his favourite.  He’s been in Kyoko so many times it’s like being in his own, and Brother is a little top heavy to be comfortable. Hibari comes close, but it comes with so many rules and requirements it’s hard to enjoy it.

“So, you coming home with me this evening?” Tsuna-Yamamoto asks.  “Mom’s been wanting to meet you.  Keeps making another plate in case you show up.”

Tsuna-Yamamoto laughed.  “Hana says it’s almost worth being a boy to taste.  I would but…”

He trails off, and the smile fades.

“Hey Tsuna, can I ask you something?”

“Of course” Tsuna-Yamamoto replied.  “What is it?”

Yamamoto-Tsuna sighed, sitting up and leaning on his hands.  “I’m having trouble improving in baseball.  I train and train, but I’m not getting any better, while everyone else keeps breaking their bests.”

He glances over at the boy currently possessing his body.  “You have any ideas?  If I don’t get better, the coach could bench me.”

Tsuna-Yamamoto frowned, pushing himself up to face the other teen.  “I…don’t really know.  I’ve never practiced baseball so I can’t give you any real pointers.  But whenever Brother is practising for a match, I know he doubles his training regime, so maybe you need to be…more extreme about it?”

Yamamoto-Tsuna grinned, and Tsuna-Yamamoto was dismayed to see it didn’t really look all that realistic.  “You mean, more effort?  I guess I can do that.”

He scooted closer.  “Would you mind swapping now?  Maybe I can get some more practice in before I head home.”

“Uh, okay” Tsuna replied, leaning in and swapping back.  Yamamoto immediately jumped to his feet and started stretching his arms as he began walking away.

“Thanks Tsuna” he called back.  “See you tomorrow!”

* * *

The next morning, Tsuna met up with Kyoko, Hana and Ryohei outside the school gates and headed in.  Reborn was strangely absent, as he had been most of yesterday, and Tsuna was enjoying the peace while it lasted.

“So Tsuna, what was with you and Yamamoto yesterday?” Kyoko asked.  “I saw Yamamoto practising on the field after school.  Weren’t you swapped for the day?”

“Yeah, didn’t he want to try your mother’s cooking?” Hana chimed.  “He’s about the only one of this little posse that hasn’t tried it yet.”

Tsuna shrugged.  “Yamamoto was feeling a little bad.  He’s not improving at baseball even though he’s training all the time.  He wanted some advice, but I wasn’t sure I was very helpful.”

Ryohei nodded in understanding.

“I would recommend relaxing to the extreme!”

Tsuna frowned.  “Relaxing Brother?  Really?”

Ryohei nodded.  “Training to the extreme is good, but if you don’t rest to the extreme, you can hurt yourself.  And that’s not extreme at all.  Yamamoto might just be pushing himself too hard.”

Tsuna paled.  “I told Yamamoto that he should practice more.  I need to find him and tell him to take a break.”

Hana just rolled her eyes.  “Relax Tsuna, I highly doubt a few extra hours of practice are going to do him any harm.”

They reached the door of the first-year classroom, and heard gasps coming from the back of the classroom.  When they turned, they spotted Yamamoto surrounded by a crowd…

…Arm in a sling and a fake smile on his face.

“…Of course, I could be wrong” Hana quipped.  “On the plus side, now he can rest all he wants.”

“Hana, not helping” Kyoko sighed.

* * *

Tsuna wanted to grab hold of Yamamoto and speak to him.  However, whenever there was a break, he was surrounded by people.  Even when he tried, Yamamoto seemed to slip away, leaving Tsuna grasping at air.  By lunchtime, he’d given up, slumped at the table commiserating with Kyoko and Hana.

“What do I do?” Tsuna moaned.

“What are you supposed to do?” Hana snapped.  “It’s not your fault he messed up.  You’re not an athlete – he should have known not to take it seriously.”

“Besides, it’s not like you told him something hideously dangerous” Kyoko insisted.  “More effort is something anyone could recommend.”

“But _anyone_ didn’t recommend it, **I** did.”

Hana threw up her hands in frustration.

“You know, can you hold off on your self-loathing until your new best friend gets out of hospital?  I’m done trying to explain this to you.”

“I’m sure Yamamoto doesn’t blame you” Kyoko replies, choosing to ignore her friend.  “He’ll calm down eventually.”

Any relief Tsuna might have felt from her attempt to cheer him up was immediately damping when they heard yelling from outside.  Dozens were running past the door, and moments later, Ryohei slammed into the doorway, eyes wide.

“Yamamoto is going to jump off the roof!”

Tsuna’s eyes widened. 

Oh god no…

* * *

“Yamamoto!  Don’t jump!”

“What are you doing Yamamoto?”

Tsuna pushed himself to the front of the crowd, Kyoko and Hana flanking him.  Ryohei, spotting their arrival, quickly forced his way to Tsuna’s side.

“They’re saying he walked up here while his team were yelling at him” the teen said, anger all over his face.  “They are not acting like a team to the extreme.”

“Ugh, monkeys” Hana growled. 

Tsuna barely heard them, pushing to the front and taking in the scene above him.  Yamamoto had climbed the lowest part of the fence, his one good arm holding onto the wire as he stared at the ground.

“Yamamoto!” he yelled, getting as closed as he dared, almost touching the fence.  “What are you doing?”

Yamamoto just gave a dark chuckle, the arm in the sling rising slightly.  “The baseball god threw me away Tsuna.  My best wasn’t good enough, so there’s nothing left for me.”

“Nothing left?” Tsuna questioned.  “How can you say that?  You can’t throw your life away over an injury.”

“What do you know?” Yamamoto snaps, turning to glare at the smaller teen.  “You’re just nothing Tsuna.  You take pride in it.  How could you understand me?”

Tsuna pales as Yamamoto shakes his head, good hand gripping the wall.

“You’re fake, just like the rest of them.  Nothing about you is real, you’re nothing but a shell – what do you know about failing?  So what if you succeed?  So what if you fail?  It doesn’t actually effect anything, or anyone!”

Tsuna is bone white, eyes downcast.  But a few moments later, he responds.

“You’re right.  I am nothing.  If I died, it wouldn’t really matter.  But that’s why I admire you Yamamoto.”

“Tsuna!” Kyoko yelped, only to be silenced by Hana covering her mouth and shaking her head.

Yamamoto pales as Tsuna lifts his head, eyes starting to tear.

“You love baseball so much” he continues.  “I’ve never found anything I could love as strongly and deeply as you do, but it gives me hope that one day I can find that thing that makes me get up and strive to be my best.” 

His eyes meet the taller boys, and then he looks down, yelling at the ground.

“Your arm will heal Yamamoto!  You can still play!  But if you’re saying failing once is enough reason to give up forever, then what hope is there for anyone?  Why would anyone even try?  Why did you try for so long?”

He risks looking up.  Yamamoto was staring at him with wide eyes.  Tsuna’s eyes were stinging, and he forced himself to pull away.

“Tsuna, wait-“

He glances up and his shoulders drop in relief as he spots Yamamoto starting to clamber back over the fence, and offers a hand when Yamamoto holds out his.

It’s a perfect moment – right up until the fence buckles under the baseball players weight and falls in the direction of the ground.

Their eyes widen as Yamamoto loses his footing and falls, hand tightening instinctively and dragging Tsuna down with him.

They don’t register the screams from above as gravity takes effect.  Tsuna feels the larger teen move his good arm to cradle him against his chest, hoping to cushion Tsuna’s fall and at least save him.  Tsuna does one better, pulling himself forward and kissing Yamamoto.  The second he feels the shift; he tightens the arm so Yamamoto-Tsuna can’t reverse it.

 _‘Sorry Yamamoto’_ he thinks to himself.  ‘ _Hopefully you can still play baseball as me._ ’

It’s the last thought he has before a bullet pierces Tsuna-Yamamoto’s forehead.

* * *

On the roof, the second the steel gave way, Kyoko, Hana and Ryohei lunged forward – Hana being forced to hold Ryohei from following after the teens.

“Tsuna!” Kyoko shrieked, just as her friend swapped with the older teen.

All three of them however, jerked back when they heard the shot, and stared in astonishment as Tsuna-Yamamoto seemed to slow in mid-air, clothes bursting from his body and holding Yamamoto-Tsuna above his head.

“REBORN!” he screamed.  “SAVE YAMAMOTO WITH MY DYING WILL!”

There was pushing and shoving on the roof, and dozens came to the windows as they heard the commotion.  The chaos meant that nobody really had a good idea of just what happened.

The first three to see the boys fall however, would swear blind that Yamamoto kicked out his legs, and all but ran down the side of the building, only to leap in the air at the very end, finishing the fall with a barrel roll. 

In his arms, Yamamoto-Tsuna looked astonished.  And once the flame that was burning on his forehead snuffed out, so did Tsuna-Yamamoto.

“Tsuna…” he said.  “You…that was amazing.”

Tsuna-Yamamoto gave a nervous chuckle, before the sound of their classmates roared around them.

“I can’t believe you survived!”

“Wow Yamamoto, you saved Tsuna!”

“You’re such a great guy!”

“Are you both okay?”

The crowds rushed in, and the two could only be carried away by the panicked arms to the nurse’s office.

* * *

“But I don’t understand” Tsuna said, walking out of the school.  Once the nurse gave the all clear and Yamamoto found a new uniform, the two had managed to swap back, leaving Yamamoto in the office, waiting for his father while Reborn escorted Tsuna home.  “Why did you shoot Yamamoto instead of me?”

Reborn smirked

“Dame-Tsuna, I am the World’s Greatest Hitman.  Observing the habits of one’s target is vital.  Did you really think I wouldn’t realise with the two of you in danger, you would swap to give Yamamoto the best chance?”

Tsuna’s eyes widened, and Reborn just chuckled.

“I assure you, as much as your gift confused me to start with, I have never been anything but adaptable.  This job might not have gone the way I expected so far, but you’ll be singing to my tune soon enough.”

He gave Leon a soft pat on the head.

“I hope you’re prepared for that.”

Tsuna gulped.

* * *

For the next few days, Takeshi wasn’t at school – his father not letting him out of his sight.  By the time the next match came around, Takeshi has accepted that he won’t be playing – at this point he’ll just be elated if he’s allowed out of the house – when his father walks into his room, looking both frustrated and grudgingly respectful.

“You have some very determined friends.”

Takeshi frowns.  “What?”

“The boy that fell with you?  Tsunayoshi?  He’s downstairs along with some of your classmates.  They’re absolutely refusing to leave until they see you.  Apparently, they want to take you to the game today so you can at least cheer your team on.”

Takeshi’s eyes lit up.  When he’d heard the reasons for his stunt on the roof, his father hadn’t even wanted to _hear_ the word baseball.  His reaction must be obvious, because his dad scowls and points at the door.

“You go straight to the game, and then you come straight back” he warns.  “Until that arm is healed you’re still on parole.”

It’s clear he’s still angry, but even he can’t maintain the scowl when Takeshi barrels into him, a genuine grin on his face.

“Thanks Dad.  Just the game, I promise.”

His father gives a long-suffering sigh.

“Why did you have to have so much of me in you?  Go on before I change my mind.”

Takeshi doesn’t have to be told twice, and bolts down the stairs before Tsuyoshi has that opportunity.

True to his word, Tsuna, Kyoko and Hana are waiting downstairs, sitting at one of the tables.  The baby is also sitting at the table, drinking coffee from a mug Yamamoto would swear blind didn’t belong in their kitchen.  Kyoko’s face breaks into a grin when he spots the baseball player.

“Yamamoto!” he greets.  “How are you?”

He pauses for a moment, before greeting the girl with a genuine smile of his own.

“Morning Tsuna” he greets back.  “You didn’t have to come you know?”

Tsuna-Kyoko blinks in shock, before giving a nervous laugh.  Behind him, Kyoko-Tsuna and Hana exchange a look of satisfaction.

“We know” Tsuna-Kyoko admits.  “But you haven’t been at school the last few days, and I know you’d never want to miss the game so…we thought we’d try.”

Yamamoto can’t help but chuckle.

“Thanks guys.  I hate that I’m letting them down.  Even getting to cheer them on would be better than just lying here feeling sorry for myself.”

He’s been doing far too much of that lately.  When his arm heals, he swears he’ll never do something that stupid again.  If he throws his life away, it’ll be for a decent reason.

The boy currently possessing the girl in front of him might qualify.  Tsuna had been ready to give his life for Yamamoto without a moment’s hesitation. The shame Yamamoto feels at that dwarfs anything else, because Tsuna is _awesome_.  He didn’t mean any of the things he said on the roof, not really – Tsuna _sees_ when nobody else does, and gives so much without ever asking anything in return.  Heck, just coming to talk his Dad into letting him out is more than any of his other ‘friends’ have done.  Not a single member of the baseball club came to see him after his jump.  Part of him hopes it’s because they feel guilty, but he’s already dreading the fake smile he’ll have to put on next week.  Without baseball, most people don’t know how to talk to him.

He falters however, when all three of them look at him with smug delight.

“Perhaps you can still play” Tsuna-Kyoko tells him.

Okay, Yamamoto is easy-going, but even he can’t resist raising an eyebrow in addition to the sling.  Tsuna-Kyoko however, just rolls his eyes.

“Well _you_ can’t, but how about a substitute?”

Yamamoto chuckled.  “I appreciate it Tsuna, but your body isn’t really built for baseball.  They’ll never let you on the team.”

Kyoko-Tsuna chuckles.  “Ah, but Tsuna’s not the only one you can swap with.”

Yamamoto frowns.  She can’t mean her or Hana.

“…Hibari?”

The baby chuckles.  “Come now Yamamoto, you know the answer.”

He’s not wrong.  A moment later, Yamamoto kind of wants to hit himself.  It’s ridiculously obvious.

“Oh, Sasagawa!”

As if summoned by his name, the boxer crashes into the restaurant, dressed in a baseball uniform.

“Let’s win this game to the extreme!” he roars, giving a thumbs up to Yamamoto.

“Brother!” Kyoko-Tsuna whines.  “You were supposed to wait until I opened the door!  It was going to be a surprise.”

Tsuna-Kyoko hides a smile as he glances back to Yamamoto.  “Word of warning, Brother exhausts any body he’s in” he warns.  “When you swap back, you won’t be able to move for a day.  Normally I’d stay in your body, but-”

“But considering you threw yourself and our favourite half-monkey of a roof, we all took a vote and think you need a little more punishment, so suck it up” Hana smirked.

“Um, for the record, that wasn’t the _exact_ terms” Kyoko promised.  “But today’s my day and I’ve already had to skip a few thanks to Reborn.”

“I also have a theory I’d like to prove” Reborn muses, sipping from his mug.

Yamamoto is already grinning.  “For a chance to play in this game?  That’s a price I’ll happily pay!  You’re awesome Tsuna, and thank you Sasagawa.”

“No problem!  Us extreme guys have to stick together!”

* * *

To everyone’s elation, Namimori Middle won their match.  Although Ryohei Sasagawa was not a baseball player, he had incredible upper body strength, which – combined with Yamamoto’s natural instincts – make him an excellent pitcher and batter.  It wasn’t a perfect substitute for their usual ace, but the team clearly wasn’t complaining.

The team tries to convince Yamamoto-Sasagawa to join them for the celebrations, but Yamamoto only has eyes for the schoolmates who came with him.  They slip away from the crowd, and wander back towards Takesushi.  Yamamoto’s already planning to talk his Dad into some free sushi.  Given what Tsuna did several days ago, he highly doubts his Dad will take much convincing.

They’re just around the corner, when Tsuna-Kyoko pulls Yamamoto-Sasagawa to the side.  Reborn is perched on the girl’s shoulder, a fascinated glint in his eye, although he stays silent for now.

“We’d better swap back before your Dad sees you” he warns.  “We don’t want him to put Brother into house arrest.”

Yamamoto-Sasagawa nodded, and while Tsuna-Kyoko swapped with Ryohei-Yamamoto, he gives the uninjured arm one last stretch.

He’s going to hate having to wait for his arm to heal.

Tsuna-Yamamoto pulls away from Ryohei-Kyoko, and looks a little confused.  He shakes it off though, and tugs Yamamoto-Ryohei towards him.

“Brace yourself” he warns, and kisses him quickly.

Most of the times Yamamoto switches with Tsuna, it’s kind of like the rush you get on a steep drop on a roller coaster.  A sudden rush of adrenaline that was over before you registered what was happening.

This time, it was more like being on a bumper car.  His stomach lurched, and the inertia was all over the place.  His good hand found its way to Tsuna-Ryohei’s shoulder, while he tries to keep his feet under him.

Wow, Tsuna hadn’t been kidding about Sasagawa putting him through the ringer.  His arm might actually be the least painful part of his body right now.

The trio watching him however, seem quite astonished that he’s even still standing.

“Yamamoto?” Tsuna-Ryohei asks, even as Ryohei-Kyoko heads toward him.  “Are you okay?”

Yamamoto gives a rough shrug, and manages a weak smile.

“I feel a little woozy, but I should be okay.”

“Seriously?” Hana gapes, while Ryohei and Tsuna switch.  “You should be flat on your back right now.”

“Even if Brother was sitting down and taking it easy, he was in you for several hours” Kyoko-Tsuna explained.  “Nobody’s endured that without collapsing.”

“I thought it was weird” Tsuna-Kyoko mused.  “I expected Yamamoto to hurt more when I swapped but – it kind of felt more numb than anything.”

Reborn, who had stayed on Kyoko’s shoulder while Ryohei possessed her, just smirked, jumping into Tsuna-Kyoko’s hair.

“So I was right.”

All of them turned to the baby.

“What are you so smug about?” Tsuna-Kyoko asked.  The hitman tipped his hat.

“I’ve been trying to research your ability in order to understand how to work around it.  When you mentioned Ryohei’s side effect, I tried to find an explanation.  This confirms a hypothesis I was putting together.  Yamamoto, how does your arm feel?”

The teen frowned.  “…It’s sprained, and it hurts?”

“Does it?” Reborn questioned.  “Compared to how it felt this morning?”

Yamamoto paused, and despite knowing it was reckless, gave his wrist an experimental flex.

It hurt, but nowhere near as much as it should have.

“What the-“

Reborn smirks.

“It appears Sasagawa Ryohei is a rare type of person.  One who exists in dying will mode at all times.  No wonder he’s exhausting everyone he possesses.”

They all look confused at that, and Reborn sighs.

“Dying will removes all limiters on your body.  The human body isn’t designed to handle that, so unless you train the body on how to cope, you end up exhausting yourself and causing unnecessary damage.  Sasagawa’s body has long since learned how to cope with it, but anyone he swaps with…”

It doesn’t take much to put the pieces together, and Tsuna’s eyes widen.

“Oh, that’s why it takes so much out of me” he says.  “But why is Yamamoto fine?”

“Because Yamamoto’s an athlete” Hana answers, eyes lighting in comprehension.  “He might not be used to Sasagawa’s…intenseness-“

“Extremeness!” Ryohei corrects, and Hana winces.

“-But his body type is close enough to have some resistance.”

Reborn nods.  “It wasn’t perfect, but it’s probably why he’s still able to walk rather than being out cold.  It’s also why Yamamoto’s arm has recovered faster – it appears Sasagawa Ryohei possesses sun flames similar to mine.  They’re known for their ability to aid in recovery.”

Ryohei grins. 

“I can heal to extreme?”

“Wow, that’s so cool Brother!”  Kyoko gasps.  Hana however, is eyeing him up suspiciously.

“…Okay, all those in favour of just shoving Sasagawa into Yamamoto for a couple of days, say aye” she suggests.

The tutor ignores her, instead turning to Tsuna.  “It’ll also help you in the long run” he says.  “You need to master dying will, but if your body is already adapted to handling it in short bursts, it’ll be easier than I expected.”

He readies his gun.  “I just need to figure out how to keep you in your own body when I fire it, and we’ll get along just fine.”

Everyone snickers at that, and Tsuna sighs in defeat.

* * *

Considering Gokudera had been attempting the same thing intentionally not a week before, the teen reacts quite badly to hearing about Tsuna’s near death experience via botched suicide after he was finally released from hospital.

“Who is this baseball bastard?” he shrieked, face still slightly purple from his earlier injuries.  “I’ll blow him off the roof myself!”

“Hiei!  Please don’t Gokudera” Tsuna pleaded, trying to ignore the stares being sent his way and failing.  The first thing Gokudera had done once he was declared well enough to return to school was walk over to Tsuna’s desk and fall into the deepest bow Tsuna had ever seen, apologising again for his actions when they first met.  It had clearly been for the benefit of the class, who were still not over the whole ‘mean to Kyoko’ thing.  The fact that Gokudera had then spent a week in hospital, and was now acting like a religious fanatic towards his earlier target, meant the rumours about just what Tsuna (and possibly Kyoko) had done to him were far outpacing Yamamoto’s momentary lapse in sanity.

As someone who had spent most of his life learning how _not_ to attract attention, Tsuna was kind of floundering, and his self-appointed ‘right hand’ wasn’t helping. 

(Kyoko at least had some sympathy since she had to deal with it too.  Hana however, thought it was _hilarious.)_

Of course, he wasn’t the only student causing waves.

“Good morning Tsuna!”

The teen jerked up as Yamamoto walked over, leaning over his desk, apparently oblivious to the ball of rage and gunpower standing at Tsuna’s side.

Speak of the devil.

“G-Good morning Yamamoto.”

“How dare you speak to the Tenth so casually!”

Tsuna winced as Yamamoto laughed and Gokudera brandished his ‘fireworks.’  From her desk, Kyoko was watching with sympathy, although Tsuna could see Hana not even trying to hide the smirk.

Really, Tsuna just wanted a perfectly peaceful year.  How on earth had he gotten wedged between two of the biggest personalities in the class?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have some bad news. As of this chapter, all of my 'excess' writing is officially gone. I have one scene for the next chapter written, and that's it. Which means I no longer only have to worry about 1-2000 words each chapter, I need to write the whole thing each month.
> 
> Also, I’m currently backpacking in New Zealand, and for the last several months I’ve been trying to save money for travel. This means my go-to way to spend time was to write. However, come December I’m going to start travelling again, and my free time will be reduced to nil. As such, I will try to get another chapter up in January, but in reality, the start of February seems a lot more likely. 
> 
> I might pop up a really short scene or chapter if I can, but I make no promises. Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, this is why I shouldn't take a break from writing. It's taken everything I've got to get this out, and I'm still not happy with it (and on that not, GC will be at least a few more weeks while I try to wrangle it into shape). Hope it's satisfying regardless.

**Chapter 13**

“School hours are over.  Leave the premises or I’ll bite you to death.”

Hibari didn’t wait for a response before his tonfas were already in hand.  The literature club – who had been foolish enough to think the prefect wouldn’t notice them lollygagging at the end of club activities – didn’t need another warning, all but falling over themselves to make it to the door.  Hibari kept eyes on them until they’d all bolted for the door, before turning back towards the Reception Room.

“Kusakabe” he said, the larger teen quickly falling into motion behind him.  “Has the patrol been complete.”

“Yes Hibari” he confirms.  “Tochiro just confirmed the third floor has been cleared.  School is closed for the day.”

“Hn, good.  You’re excused.”

The older teen gives a quick bow before heading for the exit himself.  It’s not a good thing for even the Disciplinary Committee to loiter when given orders to leave.  Hibari catches a glimpse of his prefects all heading out the gate themselves, but he still has paperwork – preparations for the future that must be seen to before he can join them.  These are best done in solitude.

However, when he enters the Reception Room, he’s not alone.  There’s a toddler-sized hitman drinking tea on one of his couches.

His face is also completely covered in bugs.

Hibari’s eyes narrow. 

“Baby.  Pets are not permitted on school grounds.”

The hitman greens, and tips his hat.

“They’re not pets, they’re my minions, Tsuna.”

Hibari’s eyes narrow, and he strides towards his desk, the first paper in his hand before he has even sat down.

“I haven’t seen the small animal since this morning” Hibari replies.  “All students, members of staff and civilians are to be off the premises by this time.  Leave or I will bite you to death.”

Reborn sets his teacup down, but otherwise doesn’t move.

“That was an impressive display with the football team” he says.  “It might not be your body and have muscle memory on your side, but you still clearly know what you’re doing.”

Hibari glares at him.  Reborn doesn’t stand down.

Finally, Tsuna-Hibari sighs, slumping back in his seat and rubbing his eyes.  “How did you know?  I thought I had Hibari down perfectly.”

“Oh you do” Reborn admits.  “I actually couldn’t tell.”

Tsuna-Hibari frowns.  “Then how did you- “

“Because my contacts spotted Yamamoto crushing skulls in town” Reborn replies, gesturing to the insects on his face (and is rather pleased that Tsuna doesn’t bother hiding the shudder this time).  “Which means Hibari isn’t here.  He only allows you and Hana to possess him, and since Hana is currently in a tutoring session for both you and Ryohei, logic dictates you gave your body to Yamamoto and took Hibari’s.  Doesn’t matter how good you can imitate someone if they can’t do the same.”

Tsuna-Hibari laughs.  “Yeah, Hibari doesn’t even try.  He’s unabashedly ‘Hibari’, no matter what he looks like.  Do I even want to know why you were looking for me?”

It’s a valid question.  Over the last month Reborn has gotten…tolerant is probably the wrong word, but nothing else adequate springs to mind, of the switching, with the understanding that he’ll get his hands on Tsuna to train at the end of the school day.  For him to chase Tsuna up mid-switch has become a rare event.  One that usually means trouble.

“I came to give you fair warning” Reborn admits, hopping over to the desk.  Tsuna-Hibari winces, clutching at papers and filling out the paperwork in a desperate attempt to avoid what’s coming.  He completes everything but the final signature (even Hibari draws the line at Tsuna trying to imitate that), before squaring his shoulders and facing his tutor head on.

“What do I need fair warning for this time?” he moans.

The baby grins.

“There’s a new hitman in town.  An old friend of mine.”

“A ‘Gokudera’ kind of friend, or another kind of friend?” Tsuna-Hibari asks.

The tutor cracks a smirk, and Tsuna’s stomach drops.

“Funny you should phrase it like that…”

* * *

 

A few minutes later at a small convenience store not far from the school, Gokudera is roughly handing over a bag of groceries to a rather flustered customer when his phone starts ringing.  The number fills him with glee, and he all but skips outside to answer while his manager flails in the background at his unprofessionalism.

“Tenth!  Have you finished helping that demon-“

“Gokudera, Reborn says your sister’s in town.  How bad is this?”

The bomber chokes.

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, do you want to repeat that?” Hana asks, arms folded and face a perfect picture of disbelief.

Tsuna sighs.  Once he’d gotten the basics out of Gokudera, he’d asked the study group to meet him outside school when Hibari returned.  The prefect must have had a very good patrol, because not only was Yamamoto’s body returned in almost perfect condition, he let them crowd outside the gate with only one warning.  This meant he could warn everyone of the coming storm.

“I said, Gokudera has a sister, Bianchi, and she’s coming to Namimori of her own volition” Tsuna repeats.  “She’s also a hitman, so is probably here to kill me.”

And wow, it was probably telling at how used to crazy he was at this point that such news barely phased him.  The ‘not-even-god-can-touch-me’ high of being Hibari probably hadn’t worn off yet.

“She could just be here to visit her brother!” Kyoko insists, but Tsuna shakes his head.

“Gokudera says they haven’t spoken in years” he replies.  “He was vague, but I got the feeling he really, _really_ doesn’t want to see her.”

Which was an understatement.  The bomber had been horrified at Tsuna’s questions, and had started listing off a list of weapons and defensive armaments he needed to accumulate in the next twelve hours, hanging up with an utter desperate _“don’t eat ANYTHING!”_ which seemed like sheer paranoia…until Reborn let him know Bianchi’s favourite method of execution.

“Reborn says she specialises in culinary kills” he continues.  “Apparently she can turn anything edible into toxic mush.”

“Culinary. Kills?” Hana repeats.

Tsuna nods.

“CULINARY. KILLS?”

“…Yeah.”

“CULINARY FREAKIN-“

“I don’t think it’s going to sound any more rational the more you say it” Tsuna warns, and Yamamoto bursts into laughter.

“Maybe she’ll throw poison rice balls at you.  I wonder if I could bat them?”

Hana looks upwards as if looking for divine intervention – a move that’s quickly becoming habit, and Kyoko giggles.

“Maybe you can talk Hibari into swapping tomorrow and getting him to chase her off” she offers.  “He _hates_ people messing with his food.”

“I can swap to the extreme!” Sasagawa roars.  “An extreme man’s stomach is made of iron.”

“Oh!  Maybe Steam Bun Grenades!  I could definitely bat them!”

Tsuna however, just shakes them off.  “I don’t think we need to go that far guys.  Let’s just be careful, and no swapping tomorrow.”

Everyone seems fine with that – it wasn’t meant to be a swap day anyway.

“So what does his sister look like anyway?” Yamamoto asks, and Tsuna falters.

“Hiei…I never thought to ask…Italian?”

“Wow, that’s helpful,” Hana snaps.

“Well, technically it is” Kyoko argues.  “How many foreigners do we really get in Namimori.”

“I’ll be on the lookout for female Gokudera to the extreme!”

* * *

 Despite Gokudera’s warning, Tsuna manages to eat that evening on the justification that Reborn probably wouldn’t let his mother die, and they were eating from the same pot.  The same would go for breakfast – except Reborn has chosen to be the sadist Tsuna has long accepted and decided this morning is the perfect time for mafia style tutoring.

Mafia style apparently involves being strapped to dynamite, and is really not helping him concentrate IN THE SLIGHTEST.

Though he gets the feeling Hana would approve.

He chokes on the smoke resulting from his last failed answer (on the plus side, if this becomes a regular thing he’s going to be able to handle Gokudera’s cigarette smoke a lot easier), and tries to wave the rest away, only to get distracted by a figure standing in the tree outside his window.  It’s a tiny figure dressed in a cow print onesie, with an afro almost as big as they are, and toting a gun that they shouldn’t be physically capable of carrying.

He’s…relatively certain it’s not Gokudera’s sister, but then again, Reborn doesn’t exactly look like the world’s greatest hitman, so who knows.  Foreigners are weird.

“Hiei!” he shrieks.  “Reborn!  There’s someone outside!”

His tutor looks up…and then away. 

“Now, the next question is-“

The rest of the sentence is lost by the sound of awkward Japanese.

“Die Reborn!”

Despite the missile launching behemoth on their shoulder, the…hitman? Aims a smaller handheld gun towards the baby.  Before he can figure, Tsuna hears a crack, and the hitman and his weapons go crashing to the ground.

“Hiei!”

Tsuna lunges to the window, sighing in relief when they get up.

Moments later, the doorbell rings, and the new arrival is slamming Tsuna’s door open.

“It’s been a while, huh Reborn!  It’s me, Lambo!”

Lambo, not Bianchi.  So not Gokudera’s sister, good to know.

Tsuna turns to Reborn.

“Friend of yours?”

Reborn doesn’t even pretend to hear him.

“Remember this formula, all right?”

There’s a scream, a lunge, and Tsuna winces as Lambo gets slammed into a wall.

It doesn’t get much better for him after that.

* * *

A grenade, two crying tantrums, a fractured wall and a brief rundown of a small ranked mafia family later, Tsuna desperately escapes the house before the newest toddler can try his next assassination plot.  To his surprise, Gokudera is waiting at the door.

“Tenth!” he greets, falling into a bow.  “Please allow me to escort you to school.”

“Hiei, there’s no need Gokudera” Tsuna insists.  “We could have just met on the way.”

He winces as Gokudera straightens, fist pumped and fire in his eyes.

“I cannot allow you to fall mercy to my sister!” he yells.  “You must not be isolated at any point.”

“Oh hey, you had the same idea too Gokudera?”

They both turn, and Tsuna’s eyes widen as he takes in Yamamoto running towards them.

“Hiei!  Yamamoto?”

The baseball player grins.  “You seemed worried yesterday, so thought I’d keep you company this morning.  The more the merrier right?”

He gets dynamite brandished in his face for that.

“The Tenth does not need your help Baseball idiot!”

“Hiei!  Gokudera, put them down!”

He does.  Grudgingly. 

“It’s cool right?” Yamamoto asks Tsuna directly, and this time, Tsuna notes a touch of apprehension in the taller teens eyes.  As if he genuinely doesn’t know if his presence is welcome here.

He can’t help but smile, and is grateful when that touch fades.

“Sure Yamamoto.  The more the merrier.  We’ll be meeting Kyoko, Brother and Hana on the way too.”

“Well, if the Tenth says so” Gokudera mutters, though he sticks tight to Tsuna’s right hand side when they start to move.

“So what’s your sister like?” Tsuna asks, grasping for conversation.

Gokudera shudders.  “She’s evil” he growls.  “She can turn anything she cooks into Poison Cooking.  I don’t know how she even feeds herself considering how little restraint she has.  When I was little, my family would throw lavish parties in our castle-“

“Hiei?  Castle!  You’re rich?”

“Castle?  Are you a Prince?”

The teen jerks in surprise, clearly torn between yelling at Yamamoto or being humble in Tsuna’s wake, eventually choosing just to continue. 

“I’d been studying the piano since I could walk, but when I was six, I was meant to perform a recital in front of everyone.  That was the first time she baked especially for me, a batch of poison cookies.”

“What!” Tsuna yelps.  “She poisoned her own brother?”

“I don’t think the first time was intentional.  She can eat her own poison cooking without any effect, so she didn’t know what it would do” Gokudera continues.  “Of course, the recital was a total wreck, but everyone seemed to think the performance was intentionally unconventional and modern, so my father increased how many I’d do, and insisted she would feed me poison cookies every time – I’d be sick for days.”

“That’s awful!” Tsuna says, suddenly incredibly grateful that his father had chosen to be ‘absent’ on the neglectful parent table.

“Wow, your Dad really made you keep eating your sisters cooking even when it made you sick?” Yamamoto replies.  “That doesn’t seem right.”

Gokudera shrugs.  “It’s half the reason I fled the house before I turned ten” he admits.  “I had to eat them so much that even seeing my sister makes me sick.  One glance of her pink her and green eyes and I’m useless.”

Yamamoto frowns.  “Pink hair?”

Gokudera scowls.  “Hey, it’s not that weird in the mafia Baseball Idiot!”

The other teen shakes his head.  “No, no, just…does she have a scorpion tattoo?”

Tsuna blinks in confusion, while Gokudera falters.

“How did you know that?”

Yamamoto points forward.  The other two look up-

-And Gokudera immediately collapses as the woman on the bike brakes in front of them.  When she removes her helmet, the resemblance to Gokudera is obvious, even though she’s clearly 100% Italian blood.

“It’s been a while, Hayato” she greets to the downed teen, and smiles at Tsuna.  She immediately tosses both him and Yamamoto cans of soda, before continuing to cycle down the road.  Yamamoto grabs his, but Tsuna’s crashes to the ground, leaking some kind of purple smoke.  He gets yanked back by the baseball player, and both stare in shock as a bird crashes to the ground, clearly dead.

“Wow, that must be a really powerful flavour” Yamamoto jokes.  “They like their soda strong in Italy.”

He then chooses to put his can in his bag, much to Tsuna’s dismay.

“Yamamoto!  That’s dangerous!  You have to throw it away!”

“I can’t do that!  My dad’s a sushi chef!  You know what he’d say if I threw away perfectly good food?  I’m sure I can find a use for this.  Anyway, is Gokudera all right?”

Oh, right.  Tsuna still had _this_ to deal with…

“Hiei!  Gokudera!”

* * *

When they reached the corner, Hana took one look at Gokudera carrying Tsuna on his back and immediately glared at Gokudera.

“Tsuna, why are you in the Bomb-Monkey’s body?”

Yamamoto chuckles, while Tsuna-Gokudera sighs and Gokudera-Tsuna flails and attempts an awkward bow from his perch.

“I’m sorry I can’t impersonate you well enough Tenth!”

“It’s okay Gokudera” Tsuna-Gokudera moans.  “I wasn’t expecting you to anyway.”

“We ran into Gokudera’s sister on the way” Yamamoto explains.  “Turns out Gokudera gets really sick when he sees her, so he got a really bad stomach ache and could barely move.  Tsuna figured since it was…what’s that word that means the symptoms are only in your head?”

“Psychosomatic” Gokudera-Tsuna groans.

“Right, since it was Psychosomatic, it shouldn’t affect him if swapped.”

“But since it’s mental, _it did_ follow Gokudera into me” Tsuna-Gokudera continues.  “But it was a lot easier for Gokudera’s body to carry mine, so we’re just keeping it up until he recovers.”

Gokudera-Tsuna forces his head up and gives a shaky thumbs up.  “I’m almost there.  I’m sorry to be such a burden Tenth.”

Tsuna smiles.  “You’re not a burden Gokudera.”

Kyoko quickly falls in step with them, letting her brother join up with Yamamoto to talk about extreme sacrifices.

“Think of it this way Gokudera” she chimes.  “If Bianchi tries anything on the way to school, she’ll be attacking you, not Tsuna.  You’re being a very good bodyguard right now.”

Gokudera-Tsuna’s face lights up at that chain of thought, and Tsuna-Gokudera gives her a small glare.

“Oh come on” she giggles in whisper.  “When a friend feels awful, you should try to cheer them up.”

“Did his sister try anything to the extreme?” Ryohei asks Yamamoto. 

“She tossed us some really strong drinks” Yamamoto replies.  “But I didn’t have my bat.  Oh man, can batting – that could have been fun.”

* * *

By the time they make it to school, Gokudera has mostly recovered, and switches back with Tsuna without incident.  He’s still performing bows and apologising for his uselessness, but Tsuna is starting to realise that’s just what Gokudera does, and mostly ignores it as he says goodbye to Brother and the girls, and heads to his locker with Yamamoto and Gokudera. 

He’s just dropped in his shoes and dumped his back, when it squeals in pain.  All three glance down, before he kneels and opens the latch.  Lambo bursts out, gasping for air.

“Your bag stinks stupid Tsuna!”

“Hiei!  Lambo!”

“Eh, is this your little brother Tsuna?” Yamamoto asks.  Tsuna just deflates, plucking the young boy out of his bag and darting outside.

“Lambo, what are you doing here?” he asks, dropping the boy to the ground and kneeling.  The kid is only just stopping himself from sniffling.

“R-Reborn shoved me in.”

Tsuna winces as Gokudera and Yamamoto quickly join them.  Sounds like the Hitman all right.

“Tenth, who is this?” Gokudera asks, brandishing dynamite.  “An assassin?”

“Hiei!  Gokudera put those away!  He’s a friend of Reborns…I think.”

He turns and stares at Lambo.

“Are you?”

The boy looks utterly offended.  “No!  I hate stupid Reborn!  I’m the Great Lambo!  And I’m here to kill him!”

Yamamoto laughs.  “It’s another player to the Mafia Game!  Good luck little guy.”

“It’s not a game you baseball freak!”

“He’s from the Bovino family.”

Everyone’s head jerks up to see part of the wall fall apart, Reborn rising into view from a seat.  Tsuna’s jaw drops, and Reborn hops off to land on Yamamoto’s shoulder.

“How did you do that?” Tsuna yelps.  “Why do you have secret passageways at my school?”

Reborn ignores him, continuing with his earlier comment.

“It’s a low ranking familia.  As far as I’m aware, we’ve never met.  I don’t associate with those beneath me.”

Tsuna frowns.  Lambo seems very gung how about killing Reborn considering they’ve never met, and he’s not quite sure if Reborn’s just egging the kid on.  That said, Lambo clearly is a child, unlike the demon-in-toddler-form he currently shares a room with, so it seems rather vindictive.

Before he can even consider calling him out on this though, Lambo is climbing up his frame, grinning like the lunatic Tsuna is starting to realise he is.

“MWHAHAHAHAH REBORN!  You fell into my trap!” he roars, kicking off Tsuna with enough force to kick the boy to the ground and throws a grenade Yamamoto’s way.  Reborn just flicks Yamamoto’s ear.

“How about a home run?”

Yamamoto’s eyes suddenly flash, quicksilver sharp, and the grenade is caught and immediately thrown out the school gates, where is blows up a chunk of pavement.  While Tsuna and Gokudera are busy gaping, Reborn jumps from his perch, turning Leon into a hammer, and slams it into Lambo’s afro.  The five-year-old goes crashing into the ground.

Reborn turns his attention back to Tsuna.

“Tsuna, classes are starting soon.  Get to class.”

“B-but- “

“Gotta…stay…calm”

The five-year-old is prying himself from the miniature crater Reborn had left him in, and bursts into tears.  Gokudera scowls.

“Oi!  What kind of hitman cries like a baby!”

“Gokudera!”

This just makes the kid cry harder, and Tsuna’s eyes widen as he suddenly pulls a brightly coloured bazooka out of his hair.  The thing is nearly three times the size of Lambo – where the hell did he pull it out?

He doesn’t have time to think about it – Lambo is climbing into the gun, and a string pulls the trigger.  Bright pink smoke fills the area, and Gokudera crashes into Tsuna.

“Take cover Tenth!” he yells.  “There’s no telling what this could do.”

Yamamoto is also stepping back, though he seems more curious.  In seconds, the smoke clears, and all three of them see a tall figure starting to walk towards them.

His hair is stylishly curly, with a lazy expression and a cow print shirt.  There’s a hand scratching his head, looking a little frustrated.

“Aw man.  Guess it’s time to start this up.”

Tsuna blinks in confusion.

The older teen walked over, squinting in Tsuna’s direction before smiling.

“Hello young Tsuna.  It’s been a while.  This is that Lambo, who was once a crybaby.”

Wait, what?

“Y-You can artificially age yourself?” Tsuna gasps.

That would actually explain so much about Reborn.  Maybe it was another curse, where you could change your age and look like whatever you wanted?

Reborn nips that theory in the bud. 

“It’s a speciality Bovino weapon known as a Ten-Year-Bazooka” he explains.  “It allows the user to swap with themselves ten years into the future.  But only for five minutes.”

“Wow, that’s such a cool toy!” Yamamoto says.  “I wish I’d had one of those.”

Gokudera oddly enough, just stays silent, staring at Lambo in confusion – as if he’d seen him before but can’t quite figure out where.

The Adult Lambo smiles at the teen.

“You never change, do you Yama?”

He then eyes up Reborn, before returning his attention to Tsuna.

“Just so you know, you won’t be able to swap with me” he warns.  “Gokudera’s been insisting I warn you about that whenever I start showing up.  There’s something about the time travel that makes me immune.”

“Oh…good to know?” Tsuna replies, though he can’t help but wonder why Gokudera would be so determined to let him know that.

The older Lambo smiles, and returns his attention to toddler hitman.

“Hello Reborn, it’s been a while…”

* * *

Three minutes later, Gokudera snorted at the beaten-up teen lying on the ground. 

“Saw that coming.  If Lambo thinks ten years is enough to take on Reborn, he hasn’t learned anything.”

“Um…should we do something?” Tsuna asks.  Gokudera just grabs his arm and starts escorting him towards the school.

“He’ll be fine Tenth!” he chimes.  “The bazooka will swap him back in a minute anyway, and you shouldn’t have to deal with the trifles of a baby hitman like him.”

“But- “

Pink smoke blossoms in the courtyard, and Tsuna decides Gokudera might actually have a point, grabbing his bag and running back inside.

* * *

When they walk into class, most of the students are staring out the window.  Hana however, is standing sentry at the door, glaring at them.

“Tell me those explosions weren’t the bomb-monkey.”

For the first time that day, Tsuna perks up.

“Actually, it wasn’t.”

Hana blinks in surprise, while Gokudera scowls.

“ _Really?”_

“Ah no” Yamamoto laughs, walking past.  “That was my bad, sorry.”

Hana groans, order restored to her world.

“I hate all of you.  At least tell me it wasn’t on school grounds and the demon-monkey isn’t going to take it out of our hides.”

Tsuna glances at Yamamoto, who almost seems a little insulted that she could doubt his range.

“Never mind, forget I asked” Hana snapped.

* * *

By lunch time, Lambo has been forgotten entirely, with the group convening on the roof for lunch.  By this point, Nana has gotten so used to other kids swapping with her son to try her food, she’s taken to packing him a huge lunch, knowing full well that between Kyoko, Hana, Ryohei, Yamamoto and new arrivals Gokudera and Reborn, Tsuna will be lucky to eat half of it.

As such, everyone is just a little bit horrified when he opens the container to reveal insects writhing in a purple mass, emitting a hideous odour that brings birds down from the sky.  Kyoko risks poking the contents with a chopstick, and stares at the disintegrating end in shock.

“It’s best you don’t eat that”

On the roof of the small building they were leaning against, Reborn walks into view.  “You’ll go straight to heaven with one bite.”

Gokudera scowls.  “Dammit, when did she manage to get her hands on the Tenths lunch?”

Reborn looks towards the door leading to the stairwell.

“Come on out.  I know you’re there Bianchi.”

The door opens, and reveals the same woman Tsuna and the others had spotted earlier.  Gokudera immediately collapses, clutching his stomach, while Kyoko, Hana and Ryohei get their first look at the newest assassin.

“Wow, she really does look like Gokudera” Kyoko sighs.  “I love her hair.”

“She really is pretty huh?” Yamamoto agrees.

“Get a grip Octopus head!” Ryohei roared, trying to yank Gokudera back to his feet.  “A real man doesn’t let a woman bring him to their knees unless it’s an act of love!”

Bianchi doesn’t appear effected by the boxer shaking her brother, walking over to the group before glancing up at Reborn.  The baby nods at her.

“Ciaossu Bianchi.”

A blush stains Bianchi’s cheeks.

“ _Reborn_ …” she sighs, completely love-struck.

“…Hiei?”

Hana is gaping in horror.

“Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me.” 

Bianchi ignores them.

“I’ve come to take you back Reborn” she says.  “Let’s do some large-scale jobs again.”

“I told you before Bianchi, I have to stay here and train Tsuna.”

“TAKE HIM!” Hana snaps.  “Trust me, everybody here wants Reborn to leave, I promise.”

Bianchi gasps.

“Oh, my poor Reborn” she wails.  “That means if the Tenth doesn’t die in some horrible accident, Reborn will never be free!”

“WHAT!”

The woman turns, and starts murmuring about coming back if the Tenth died.  Tsuna could only watch in shock, before a groan caught his attention.

“Gah!  Gokudera!”

* * *

For the second time that day, Gokudera found himself completely incapacitated, and Ryohei helped carry him to the nurse’s office.  He’s barely conscious, mumbling something that sounds like apologies to the Tenth.  The second they walk out the door, Kyoko grabs Tsuna by the shoulders.

“Switch with me Tsuna” she insists.  “It’s Home Economics next, and the girls give out their cake to the boys.  If she’s going to try and poison your food, that’ll probably be where she strikes next.  If we swap, you can catch her in the act, and if you don’t, I know better than to take the cake.”

“Kyoko!  I object to the extreme!” Ryohei yells.  Hana is looming too.

“There’s absolutely no point in risking both of you!”

“They’re right Kyoko” Tsuna agrees.  “Just keep an eye out in class and that’ll be enough.”

Kyoko shakes her head.  “But- “

“Don’t worry about it Kyoko” Yamamoto interrupts.  “The Mafia Game is all about teamwork.  You want to do more, but it won’t help right now.”

The girl droops, but accepts their answer, and gains a competitive gleam in her eye.

“Fine.  But I promise Tsuna, she won’t get near a single slice!  I won’t allow her to sully the glory of cake!”

Tsuna smiles, and Hana chuckles.

“That’s my girl.”

* * *

By the time the girls are prepared to hand out cake, Tsuna is on a knife edge.  Gokudera is still in the nurse’s office as well, so he’s only backed by Yamamoto, who Tsuna is not entirely sure understands that Bianchi is _genuinely_ trying to kill him.  Considering most of the class thinks Yamamoto hangs around Tsuna because they saved each other’s life, his jokes about the cake being ‘to die for’ are getting far too many laughs right now.

The doors open, and in flood the girls, all armed with cake.  Kyoko has a triumphant grin on her face, and the cake in her hands looks fantastic.  Tsuna immediately relaxes.

-Then immediately tenses up when he spots Bianchi darting between the girls, swapping their plates without even noticing.  Yamamoto whistles in surprise.

“She’s good.  Think she does magic tricks too?”

While their classmates descend upon the crushes and begging boys, Yamamoto soon finds himself surrounded, and Kyoko reveals her cake with a flourish.

“Here Tsuna!” she proclaims.  “Completely 100% Bianchi free.”

Tsuna swallows.

“Um, Kyoko?”

He points at the cake.  The girl blinks, looks down, and drops the plate with a shriek.

“HOW?”

Hana glances at her own cake too, scowling at the worm writhing on the surface.

“Okay, I officially hate this woman.”

She heads out of the room and dumps the cake in a nearby bin.  Kyoko hangs in the doorway, still staring at hers on the ground in frustration.

“She showed up at the last minute” Tsuna admits.  “Your cake looked great.”

“Huh, I underestimated you”

Tsuna shrieks as Bianchi appears behind him, woman scowling at him.

“A real man would eat anything his girlfriend put in front of him” she warns, pointing at the cake on the ground.  “Now I’ll have to do something really bad.”

Hana scowls at her.  “Just give it up you pedo.  There’s no way Tsuna’s going to eat anything you taint.”

Bianchi smirks.  “Maybe he won’t…”

She points a thumb over her shoulder, aiming at something in the room.  Tsuna and the girls follow the direction, and pale dramatically.

Yamamoto was surrounded by girls and cake.  Purple, smoking cake.  One slice was already in his hand.

“Now there’s a real man” Bianchi chuckles.  “I wanted to make sure I got you, so I swapped out every piece.  Too bad, he seemed nice.”

Tsuna rushes forward.

“Yamamoto!”

A bullet fired, and Tsuna dropped to the ground.  A second later, his clothes burst off.

REBORN!  I’LL EAT CAKE WITH MY DYING WILL!

Bianchi grins in delight.  Reborn has made absolutely certain his student will eat all her cake, she knew he cared.

Then she pales, because instead of rushing over and eating cake, Tsuna is running over to her, flames burning on his head.  Kyoko and Hana quickly step aside, and Bianchi squawks as the teen jumps on her, kissing her fiercely.  She’s so shocked it makes her disoriented, and struggles to kick him off.

“Reborn!  I swear it was him!  I’m loyal to you!” she wails, once she’s finally free, only to get pinned to the ground by Hana and Kyoko.  Normally, pulling two normal civilian girls off would be child’s play, but this is taking effort. 

“Oh no you don’t!” Hana snaps.  “I am not playing ‘Chase the Body’ today.”

“You will apologise to all cake lovers everywhere!” Kyoko adds.

She glares at both of them, but pauses when she realises she’s wearing a jacket, even though she hadn’t been wearing one five seconds ago.  She also can’t feel her hair, and that’s more than a little unnerving.

What’s happening in the classroom however, is even weirder.

“Who the hell is that?”

“She’s eating Yamamoto’s cake!”

“Wow Bianchi, you must really like these.  Here, have this one.”

Bianchi’s jaw drops.  She’s in that room, currently inhaling poison cake, with an orange Sky flame burning on her forehead.

Her captors are also staring in bemusement.

“So…I’m going to assume you can’t get poisoned by your own cooking” Hana muses.  “Tsuna wouldn’t swap with someone if it was going to put them in danger.”

“I’m surprised he even had that much control” Kyoko admits.  “That bullet makes thinking hard, he must have been thinking about it just before Reborn shot him.”

Bianchi-Tsuna is barely paying attention, too busy staring at the doppelganger clutching their stomach while the flame on her head snuffs out.

“Am I dreaming?” she finally whispers.  There’s a heavy sigh behind her, and all three women turn to see Reborn staring at Tsuna-Bianchi in irritation.

“I’m afraid not” he says.  “This is getting frustrating.”

He finally shakes his head, and hops onto Bianchi-Tsuna’s head.

“The classroom next door is empty, so let’s wait there.  Tsuna will give you back your body shortly.”

Bianchi nods, still slightly in shock.  Once Hana and Kyoko release her, she stumbles to her feet, heading in the direction Reborn points to.  She’s barely taken more than a few steps, before she hears someone stumbling towards her.

“TENTH!”

Hayato is staggering down the corridor, heading towards her with a half-pained grin.  It’s the first time in years her brother’s been able to look her in the eye, and the act makes her stop in astonishment.  The bomber stumbles to a stop in front of her, brandishing a stick of dynamite.

“I’m almost fully recovered Tenth” he insists.  “I promise I can handle anything my sister-GAH!”

He collapses at her feet, arms clutching his stomach as Tsuna-Bianchi walks out of the classroom, one hand on their stomach while Yamamoto follows in curiosity.  They spot Gokudera on the ground, and Tsuna-Bianchi sags.

“We’d better get him back to the nurse’s office…”

* * *

When Gokudera wakes up, Kyoko is with him, holding a package in her hands.

“Are you okay?” she asks.  Gokudera doesn’t answer, struggling to sit up and get out of bed.

“The Tenth!” he yelps.  “Is he okay?  Did my sister- “

Kyoko raises her hands in an attempt to calm him down.  “Tsuna is fine Gokudera!  He managed to neutralise all the poison cooking.  Everything’s okay.”

The words let him sag to the mattress in relief, hand over his eyes.  When he finally lifts it up, Kyoko is holding out the package – a box wrapped in a skull covered handkerchief.  Gokudera loves it immediately.

“I brought you some of the leftover cake.  Everyone else has already had some, but I didn’t want you to be left out.”

Gokudera looks down, but accepts the package gratefully.

“Thank you.  I can’t believe I was so worthless again.  My sister is such a pain, Reborn should just make her leave already.”

“You shouldn’t say that” Kyoko says.  “I’m sure your sister loves you.  She just doesn’t know how to express it sometimes.”

Gokudera scoffs, looking away.  “Don’t talk as if you understand.”

“But I do” Kyoko insists.  “I’m a sister too.  Just because you’re different doesn’t mean they don’t care.”

The teen frowns, choosing the unwrap the box in front of him rather than face the girl at his side.

“I asked Tsuna if I could be the one here” Kyoko admits.  “I wanted to ask you to give your sister a chance.  Reborn’s already said she’s going to be staying with the Sawada’s for a while, so can you at least try?”

“She’s staying with the Tenth!” Gokudera shrieks, arms flailing.  “Is Reborn insane!  She’s gonna- “

“Bianchi’s taken a contract with Vongola!” Kyoko quickly interrupts.  “So she can be with Reborn every day.  She’s just wants to be with the man she loves, so she won’t do anything now.”

Gokudera settles down, though he’s still frowning.

“Fine” he chokes out.  “I’m not promising anything, but I’ll try to play nice.”

“Will you spend some time with her?” Kyoko asks, and he laughs.

“You do remember the part where I can’t even look at her right?” Gokudera says, finally unwrapping the dessert.  Kyoko’s smile is a little too coy.

“Well, with your friends, that’s not really too much of an issue…”

Gokudera frowns, then freezes when he looks at what’s in his hands.

The cake is _purple._

Gokudera gulps, and _stares_ at Kyoko.    The smile he’d thought was coy…he’d seen it before.

“Big sis?...”

Bianchi-Kyoko smiles and held out her arms.  “Won’t you hug your sister?”

Gokudera screams.

* * *

_An hour earlier…_

“What do you mean she’s going to be my Art and Home Economics tutor!” Tsuna yelps.

From his position in Bianchi’s arms, Reborn is smirking.  He’d insisted on Tsuna swapping back with Bianchi as soon as they’d gotten her out of the classroom, and then vanished for the rest of the day.  Right up until Tsuna was got a paper airplane in his hair telling him to come to the roof, where Reborn had been sitting, drinking coffee, in the arms of the female hitman.

“Since she intends to be in Namimori indefinitely, Vongola has decided to hire Bianchi” he explains.

“I get paid to be with Reborn all day” Bianchi sighs, hugging the body in her arms. 

“Given the circumstances, I thought another hitman who could watch over Maman would be a good idea” Reborn continues, ignoring Bianchi’s sighs of adoration.

“Watch over?” Hana snaps.  “Are you crazy?”

She holds up a hand when she sees the boys beginning to answer.

“Rhetorical!”

“I think it’s a great idea!” Kyoko exclaims, and everyone looks at her in horror. 

“Kyoko!” Tsuna yelps.  “I thought you hated her for wrecking your cake.”

“Well, yes” Kyoko admits.  “But you made her eat all her poisoned cake, so that seems fair.  Besides, She and Gokudera should clearly spend some more time together.  It’s not right that he can’t even look at her - siblings should be close.  Maybe he can get over it if he sees her more often.”

Ryohei grins, and punches the air.

“I extremely agree!  Octopus-head should be a man to the extreme and take care of his sibling.”

Tsuna blanches.

“Er, Brother, I don’t think Bianchi _needs_ taking care of…”

“Oh don’t waste your breath Sawada” Hana sighs.  “At least she and your mother have the same views of relationships.  They’ll probably get along like a house on fire.”

That’s…more true than Tsuna likes to admit.  Yamamoto slings an arm around his shoulder and gives a wave.

“If you’re staying, then welcome to the Mafia Game!” he says.  “If you like cooking, you’ll have to come to my Dad’s restaurant sometime.  He makes the best sushi in Japan.

Bianchi’s eyes narrow in interest, and Tsuna quickly tries to change the subject.

“W-we can do that later” he says.  “I’m more worried about Gokudera.  If you’re going to be staying, he’s going to have a problem.  He’s half dead just from looking at you.”

“Gokudera’s a hitman” Reborn replies.  “He’ll have to learn how to deal with weaknesses like this eventually.”

Bianchi sighs from her position on the ground.

“I do wish things had gone differently with Hayato.  But I can’t change the past.”

“But you’re his sister!” Kyoko insists.  “Maybe you made mistakes, but that should still count for something.”

“In a perfect world, perhaps it would be.  But it’s hard to mend fences when he can’t even look at me.”

Tsuna looks up, and Hana groans.

“Sawada, **no**.”

“But- “

“No!”

* * *

_An hour later…_

Just outside the nurse’s office, the group hear Gokudera’s scream, and Tsuna winces.

“I think it’s extremely going well” Ryohei offers.

“I think the baby’s going to have to teach us how to hide a body before sundown” Hana mutters, scribbling in a notebook.

“So, what’s it like?” Yamamoto asks, ignoring the loud cries and choosing to eye up the pink haired teen Kyoko was currently possessing.  The girl had been running hands through her hair and spinning around the entire time.  “Is it weird being in someone older?”

Kyoko-Bianchi pauses from own examination, and glances down at her chest for a moment before shrugging.

“The measurements are weird, and I kind of hope mine don’t get this big.  It’s really awkward” she giggles.  “But it’s kind of fun, being sexy instead of cute.  Think I’d get a discount when I shopped?”

Yamamoto laughs while Hana just rolls her eyes.  Her brother is drawn away from the door to frown in her direction.

“I still don’t like that Kyoko is the one who swapped to the extreme” Ryohei says, glancing at his sister.  Hana scoffs.

“It had to be Kyoko because when Tsuna offered, Pinkie started fantasising about killing him and getting to spend all her time with the baby as the heir.  She’s got no ill will towards Kyoko, and Gokudera’s already learned the hard way not to hurt her.”

 A moment later, they hear explosions coming inside.

“Of course, that’s assuming Bianchi isn’t exactly like her little brother and perfectly capable of stopping anyone from thinking rationally” Hana finishes, and the group stare at each other in horror before bolting into the room.  All except Hana, who is perfectly happy to stay where she is, writing in her notebook, mindless of the smoke and screams to stop, smirking to herself.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reminder:  
> Tsuna-Bianchi: Tsuna in Bianchi's body  
> Bianchi-Tsuna: Bianchi in Tsuna's body.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap but Haru and Dino DID NOT want to meet Tsuna. You would not believe how much of this got churned out through sheer force of will. For a significant period I was just going to have Haru's introduction mentioned as 'The Haru incident' because I couldn't write it! I am SO happy to get this thing behind me - hope you all enjoy it (and please warn me if you spot any Haru/Hana mistakes, I do my best work while sleep deprived and I just can't seem to keep their names seperated).
> 
> Also, I completely forgot to mention last chapter, but thanks to JenniferWilson, Don't Kiss and Tell now has a Tvtropes page! Thanks so much for putting it together! You can check it out at http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/DontKissAndTell

**Chapter 14**

It took a week for Tsuna to stop panicking whenever he spotted Bianchi, given that she’d try to kiss him each morning to say hi to her brother.  Reborn wasn’t any help, apparently finding her enthusiasm very useful for his students training, only stepping in when Bianchi tried to steal a kiss whenever her brother arrived at the door.  The bomber had started creating a ridiculously complicated code for the two of them to share when they met in order to guarantee it was Tsuna.  Unfortunately, it was so complicated Tsuna regularly forgot it and found himself at the mercy of a stick of dynamite before convincing the teen.

Besides, he’d been more interested in causing even more chaos for Tsuna, in the form of a baby-adoring high schooler who loved to cosplay more than the hitman did, and was almost as blind to reality as Bianchi.

Which was why he was now in his current predicament, slouched at his desk after recounting the morning’s actions, the subject of much humour.

“Wait.  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.  Let me see if I’ve got this straight.”

Tsuna slumps in his seat as Hana leans over his desk, glee written all over her face.

“There’s a girl who thinks the Demon Baby From Hell is an actual baby, and that you’ve ‘corrupted’ him so badly she needs to inflict revenge and rescue him from your clutches?”

Tsuna just groans, and Hana finally gives in to the urge to burst into laughter, slamming her hand on the desk as she struggles to stay upright.  To his dismay, Kyoko’s fighting a smile of her own, and Yamamoto is grinning.

“Don’t you laugh at the Tenth’s misfortunes!” Gokudera hisses, and Tsuna takes small comfort in the fact that at least he’ll always have the bomb crazy nutjob in his corner.

“Maybe she’ll get bored and move on” Yamamoto offers, and Tsuna shakes his head.

“Doubtful.  If what Reborn said is true, she’s been ‘stalking’ us for weeks.”

“What!” Gokudera yelps.  “That’s impossible!  I’m been vigilant!”

“But you’ve been coming to school before Tsuna in order to greet him at the door” Kyoko argues, and Gokudera freezes in horror.

“Right…I assumed since Reborn was with the Tenth that I wouldn-Tenth I am so sorry!”

The bomber immediately dropped to the ground in a bow, forcing Tsuna to lean down and try to drag him back up.

“Gokudera!  Calm down, it’s not your fault!”

Kyoko leaned on the desk to smile at the two of them.  “Tsuna’s right Gokudera.  If we meet with her after school and talk this over rationally, this will all blow over.”

“Really, because she wasn’t really all that rational Kyoko” Tsuna warns.  “She didn’t want to listen to me at all.”

The girl merely sends him a 1000 watt smile in his direction.

“Then I’ll do it.  I’m by far the best mediator here anyway.”

“Kyoko, you shouldn’t get involved-“

“Don’t be silly, I’m happy to do it.  After all, if another girl is threatening my boyfriend, it’s my duty to save him.”

That just sends Hana into another laughing fit, but Tsuna smiles.

“I guess that-“

“Will not be happening.”

Their eyes dart to the window, where Reborn is leaning against the frame.

“A mafia boss doesn’t let his underlings handle his personal negotiations.  Tsuna will be the one to speak to Haru.”

Yamamoto raises his hand-

“And yes, it must be Tsuna in his own body.”

-and lowers it.

* * *

When school let out, Reborn had settled on Tsuna’s head and assured that Haru would not doubt try to ambush Tsuna on the way home.  Kyoko had insisted on coming, as had Gokudera.  This meant both Yamamoto and Ryohei were also along for the ride as ‘moral support.’  Hana, on the other hand, was here solely for the entertainment value.

However, such a large group did have one unintended effect.

 “Hahi!  All these people, are you in a gang?”

“Hiei?  That’s not”

“Oh my god you really _are_ introducing innocent little Reborn to a life of crime!”

Tsuna’s shoulder sag as Haru points at him accusingly, her head half covered in a handkerchief.  Gokudera had spotted her sneaking behind and thrown ‘fireworks’ to bring her out.  Once she’d finished yelling at the bomber for inappropriate use of special effects, she’d taken in the group and blown up again.  At this point she was rivalling Gokudera at his most vehement.

“Haru, please, I, ah-“

“NO!  I will help save Reborn and that adorable little Lambo from your dark influence!”

“Hi there!”

Kyoko was suddenly in Haru’s face, and the girl jerked back in surprise.

“Do you like cake?”

* * *

Kyoko managed to herd everyone towards her favourite cake shop not ten minutes away, clinging to Haru’s arm like a limpet so she can’t bother Tsuna or Reborn.  She was initially resistant, but her appreciation for cute things gave her no defence for Kyoko at full power.  Now the two were giggling like long lost friends.  Hana quickly steps back to speak to Tsuna, huddled with the other boys behind watching the girls.

“Sawada, if Kyoko starts interacting with this nutcase thanks to this, I will be blaming _you_ ” she warns.

“I think it’s extremely good Kyoko is making friends!” Ryohei argues, while Yamamoto and Gokudera both crack grins (though Tsuna suspected it was for different reasons).

When they walk into the shop, Gokudera immediately drags Ryohei and Yamamoto over to drag tables into a quiet corner, while Kyoko, Hana and Haru start discussing cake.

“I like the strawberry mousse one, but Hana appreciates dark chocolate” Kyoko offers.

“Ooh, strawberry could be good, but I really like cheesecake” Haru admits.  “It’s so hard to find a good bakery.”

“Oh well I promise this won’t disappoint!  Tsuna, do you want castella?”

“Oh um…yes please.  And for the others too.  I don’t know if Yamamoto and Gokudera like sweet things.”

He certainly didn’t unless he was in Kyoko’s body.  She’d mentioned she preferred savoury and citrus flavours when possessing him, but maybe it depended on the individual.

Hana sniffs and moves to order.  “They’d be wasted on the monkey’s anyway.  Anything else.”

Tsuna starts to shake his head, only to feel Reborn yank on his hair.

“Hiei!  Expresso for Reborn too!”

The baby smirks, and Haru gapes.

“You can’t give a baby coffee!”

“I’d like to see you try to stop him” Hana mutters.  “One expresso please.”

Haru is pouting, but Tsuna takes the opportunity to pull Kyoko to the side.

“I don’t think I can do this Kyoko” he says.  “You’ve got her eating out of your hand, I couldn’t even get two words out.”

“You’re going to have to” Kyoko insists.  “Reborn’s watching us like hawks, swapping isn’t an option here.  Besides, Haru’s not that bad, she’s actually a lot of fun.”

“Of course you think that, she likes **you** ” Tsuna argues.  “I’m not you.”

Kyoko puts her hands on her hips.  “But you can be.  Just…be me without being me.”

Tsuna pauses.

Could he do that?

“Yes, you can.”

He yelps as Reborn yanks on his hair again.

“Your acting abilities are the reason I rescinded the swapping ban” he explains.  “You have almost perfected a collection of different personalities, but aren’t utilising their true power.  If you can learn to channel that personality in your own body as well as theirs, Sawada Tsunayoshi’s potential could be truly limitless.”

 _‘But…the only thing between me and everyone else is that I’m easy to overwrite’_ Tsuna thinks to himself. _‘If I started to write over my own personality intentionally…’_

While he mulls it over, Kyoko grabs his hand.

“Come on, your accuser awaits.”

* * *

When they were seated, Tsuna found himself sitting opposite Haru, with Gokudera on his right, and Kyoko on his left.  Yamamoto and Ryohei are both on Haru’s side, with Hana by Kyoko and Reborn opposite her.  From the way Haru kept glancing his way, she really wished the baby was closer.  Reborn however, just had his eyes locked on Tsuna.

He gulped, glancing over at Kyoko, who gave him an encouraging smile, and then turned back to Haru.

_‘Okay, I can do this.  Just…be Kyoko without being Kyoko.  Be nice and sweet and not at all Tsuna.’_

It’s not something he’s ever wanted to do, but explaining why to this particular table is something he wants even less.  With no alternative, he builds up his courage, channels what he knows of Kyoko, and smiles at the middle school girl in front of her.

From the way her cheeks slightly tinge and Gokudera squeaks, it must be effective.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot” Tsuna starts, clasping his hands together.  “I know it might seem strange, but I promise Reborn is no ordinary baby.”

The girl is starting to frown, so Tsuna powers through.  There’s no point in insisting the mafia angle, Haru’s already proven she’s not interested in hearing it, so…the other truth.

“Reborn is a lot older than he looks” he continued.  “He’s actually my tutor, hired by my mother to help me study.  You can even ask my mother if you want.”

“It’s true!” Kyoko pipes up, before she spots a chameleon itching towards his owner’s hand and quiets down.  Tsuna continues, still smiling.

“I know he looks really cute, especially in his suit, but I promise that Reborn can take care of himself.  And it’s perfectly okay for him to drink coffee.  So, can’t we just put all of this behind us and be friends?”

As he finishes, he cranks up the ‘Kyoko’ for all it’s worth – he can practically _feel_ the sparkles forming behind him as he closes his eyes and smiles with everything he’s got.

For a moment, Haru looks somewhat taken aback.  Then, with terrifying swiftness, she grabs her glass of water and throws it in Tsuna’s face, ignoring his yelp and Gokudera’s outrage.

“You’re beyond evil Sawada Tsunayoshi!” Haru yells.  “How can you deceive such a precious person as Kyoko like this?”

“Deceive?”

“Nobody who could treat small children the way you do can possibly be as nice as that!  You’re a true villain!  A seducer!”

She steps back and points an accusing finger in his face.  “Mark my words!  There will be a reckoning!  I shall defeat you and save Reborn, Lambo **and** Kyoko from your clutches!  Beware!”

Her warning given, she spins on one foot and marches away with the air of a woman with a purpose.  Behind him, he can already hear Yamamoto laughing and a high pitched hissing noise that suggests Gokudera is about to erupt.

“Clearly Tsuna’s body is not designed to withhold the true power of the feminine smile” Reborn notes.  “But I’d give you a solid B for the attempt.”

He just groans, slumping against the bakery wall and holding his head in his hands, catching the attention of the boys.  What did he _ever_ do to deserve this?

* * *

As Haru storms away and Tsuna gets dragged to the rest room by Gokudera and Yamamoto, Kyoko watching them in guilt, Hana leans over the table and stares at Reborn.

“Quick question” she asks.  “I’m going along with this because it’s the most non-dangerous entertainment I’ve had since you showed up, but why are you?  I doubt it’s just for the entertainment value.”

The hitman glances down at her, takes in her calculating eyes, and grins.

“Because this is a safe experiment for Tsuna” Reborn explains.  “Most of a Mafia Boss’s duties involve negotiating.  Tsuna, at least subconsciously, understands how to manipulate and react to the actions of other people.  I just need to get him used to doing it without kissing someone in the process.  As a civilian, Miura Haru is relatively harmless, and the problems she can cause are all manageable.”

“Manageable huh?”

Reborn smirks.

“Since being here Tsuna has tried to kill himself twice and revealed his ability to several people he barely knew.  Haru is focused on me, and has no genuine killing intent towards Tsuna, which means we should be able to avoid yet another self-sacrifice or body swapping incident.”

Hana nods in understanding.

“True.  Swapping would not help in any way here, thank god.  The last thing we need is another body is this swapping debacle.  Although I wouldn’t put it past Tsuna to find a way to sacrifice himself.  He’s getting a knack for it.”

Kyoko and Ryohei, who’d been watching the two almost like a tennis match, quickly protest.

“Hana!” Kyoko scolds.  “It’s not like Tsuna intends to do it.”

“It’s wrong to accuse him to the extreme” Ryohei agrees.

“Really?” Hana bites back.  “Because I’m noticing a pattern, and I’m not liking it.”

“Gokudera and Yamamoto were hardly normal situations though” Kyoko argues.

“True, but if Tsuna hadn’t _known_ Bianchi was immune to her own poisons, that dying will bullet was going to make him eat all of the poisonous cakes _himself”_ Hana reminds her.  When his back is to the wall, Tsuna goes for the lethal option every, single, time.”

Kyoko looks as if she wants to argue, but shares a glance with an equally worried Ryohei and stays silent.  Reborn takes in the three of them and smiles in satisfaction.

“Good, you’ve noticed” he says.  “Which means once Tsuna’s passed this test, you can help me solve it.”

* * *

The very next day, Tsuna found himself stumbling back into the house soaking wet and dressed in nothing but boxers and Yamamoto’s jacket, while Kyoko and Yamamoto struggled to stop giggling, Gokudera muttered death threats and Hana mumbled into a notebook.  Once the door closed, Nana popped her head out of the kitchen and grinned the visitors.

“Oh, did you go swimming Tsu-kun?” she asked.  “I’ll make you something hot to warm up.  Would you all like some.”

Everyone perks up, but Tsuna winces when Hana just grabs his hair and smiles.

“That would be lovely” she says.  “But first we all need to talk to Tsuna.  Do you mind if we go to his room?”

Nana waves them all in, and Hana all but yanks the teen up the stairs, the others following nervously.  The second they’ve made it to Tsuna’s bedroom, she releases him and drops to the floor, rubbing her temples.

“I really hate that baby” she mutters.  “How is this my life?”

“Why are you complaining?” Tsuna mutters.  “It’s not like she has a crush on you.

Kyoko’s giggles begin again at the pain on his face, and his groans as he thinks back on the events of that afternoon.

They had all been walking home, minding their own business, when Haru had ambushed him on the bridge, dressed in full makeshift samurai gear (why?  How?) before falling into the waters.  Before any of the other boys could make a move, Reborn had shot him with a dying will bullet.  Inexplicably, Tsuna remained in his own body for the rescue, resulting in an apologetic Haru…and a declaration that she would fight Kyoko for Tsuna’s love.  Loudly, and repetitively.

“It’s kind of sweet if you think about it” Kyoko snickers.  “I’ve never been in a battle of love before.”

“Kyoko!”

The girl just grins, and Yamamoto hides a laugh behind a cough.  Gokudera looks as if he wants to yell at them both, only to pause when Hana slams her book shut.

“Okay, that’s enough taunting” she warns.  “What are we going to do about Moronica?”

Tsuna frowns. 

“…Do?”

Hana scowls.

“If the last few days are anything to go by, Miura is frustratingly persistent.  Even if she’s not at our school, I’m willing to bet she’s going to show up regularly.  Which means she’s going to notice if things are off.”

“It’s Namimori though” Yamamoto offers.  “Things are always off.”

Everyone pauses at the (not inaccurate) statement, before shaking it off.

“What we need to be is careful” Hana warns.  “We have to be smart or find a way to warn her off before she finds out Tsuna’s secret.  Which she **will** if she decides to be impulsive and just kiss you with no warning.  As oblivious as she appears, Midori doesn’t let in idiots.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t go that far” Kyoko insists, and Tsuna nods in agreement.

“Yeah, and besides, it wouldn’t be that bad” he argues.  “It’s not like I’m not used to people finding out by now.”

“Uh, Tenth?” Gokudera pipes up.  “Hana does have a point.  That girl’s a civilian.”

Yamamoto frowns.  “What’s that got to do with anything?”

Hana scowls.

“Moron!  I know you treat it like a game, but the mafia is now involved.  This isn’t just stupid, harmless fun anymore.  Anyone you bring into your circle is automatically at risk.  Plus, we’re not little kids – you can’t just kiss a random girl, or let her kiss you, without consequences.”

“You make it sound like I make a habit of it” Tsuna mutters, and Hana raises both eyebrows.

“Sawada, of the people in this room, only **one** was unintentional.  Maybe, technically 1.5 if you count being under some kind of influence with Yamamoto, but let’s be honest, you were itching to kiss him for _weeks_ before that.”

Yamamoto bursts into laughter, and Tsuna flushes red.

“Hey, I didn’t have much choice with you, Hibari and Gokudera!” he insists, but Hana just waves his argument away.

“Details, details” she dismisses.  “Either way, this group is already almost too big.  Bringing in more people is going to get dangerous.  Especially with the baby breathing down your neck.”

“But it’s not like we can just be jerks and tell her to go away” Kyoko insists.

“Why not?” Hana and Gokudera ask at the same time, and scowl at each other for the echo.

“Because!” Kyoko argues.  “She wants to be friends, and I don’t see why she shouldn’t.  It would be nice to have more girls around.”

“The Tenth doesn’t need any hanger ons like that!” Gokudera snaps.  Hana frowns, but mulls the point over.  Yamamoto holds up his hand.

“So why not just be friends and not tell her?” he offers.  “It’s not like I tell my friends about this.  And I’m sure we can all keep her from finding out.  It’s like kissing keep-away.”

Tsuna bites his lip, thinking over the prospects.

“I think if we try to push her away, Reborn might disagree” he warns.  “He didn’t do much to dissuade her, so he might want her around.”

“We’re forgetting the most important thing though” Kyoko warns, frowning at everyone.  “Tsuna, do you want to be friends with Haru?”

Tsuna blinks in surprise, but gives the question some thought.

“I…don’t **not** want to be friends” he says.  He’s not exactly sure why Haru’s suddenly become interested in him, but he hardly has enough friends to be picky about anyone who wants the title.

Hana sighs in frustration.

“Fine.  Haru might become a friend, but we can we all agree to keep her in the dark about your gift?”

“I agree” Gokudera says, arms crossed and nodding his head.  “We don’t know if we can trust her.”

Yamamoto’s also nodding, and although Kyoko looks torn, there’s a lot of acceptance in her eyes.

“I don’t think she’d react badly” she says.  “But Hana does have a point.  Besides, she goes to another school, so it’s not like she’s likely to notice anything’s odd unless we do something stupid.”

Tsuna smiles.  “And it could be nice to have _one_ friend I don’t have to study intensively to imitate for once.”

His eyes are down when he speaks, so he doesn’t spot the dark looks of contemplation that flash through his friends eyes at that admittance.  It’s gone by the time he looks up, and Hana steps forward.

“Okay, all those in favour of not telling Haru, say aye” Hana says.

The answer is unanimous.

* * *

If you’d asked Tsuna 6 months ago if he’d know enough people that hiding his power would be necessary, he would have laughed in your face.  Yes, inexplicably, this is a conversation they start needing to have more than once.

 Not three days after the ‘Haru incident,’ Lambo somehow runs afoul of a young Chinese assassin, who then mistakes Tsuna for her target and nearly blows up half the school.  Tsuna is still exceedingly grateful that Hibari was otherwise occupied for that entire sequence, because he’s relatively certain the prefect would have killed every single one of them if he’d known.

Of course, this doesn’t explain why Ipin is suddenly living in his house, or why – when she gets hit with the ten year bazooka – she clearly has no idea what Tsuna can do, but since they already have protocol in place, Ipin remains oblivious.  It helps that she mostly hangs around Lambo who, if **he** knows at this point in time, doesn’t seem to care.

So yeah, not only was he having to keep secrets, but now he was keeping them from people living in his house.  That was fun.  At least he and Kyoko had already stopped spending nights at each other at the warnings of Reborn.

All things considered, it had been a hectic month, and Tsuna was starting to dread the quiet times, because that just meant Reborn was planning something.

That something was clearly coming up – Hana and Kyoko were introducing Haru to the joys of communal cake devouring (Kyoko had suggested it as an attempt to get Haru _off_ the idea of love rival and more friend), Yamamoto had baseball practice, Brother was at Boxing, and Gokudera had been flat out warned not to follow him.  Tsuna dreaded heading home.

When he turned the corner, and found the veritable army surrounding his house, that feeling seemed fairly justified.  When he identifies himself and the men clear a path, he stares in despair at the closest one.

“Do I even want to know what’s waiting for me?”

The man doesn’t answer, choosing the smile and usher Tsuna to his door.

“Welcome home Tsu-kun!” Nana chimes from the kitchen.  “We have a guest.”

Tsuna gives a helpless smile as he removes his shoes. 

“Let me guess, from Italy?”

Nana chuckles.  “How did you guess.  Ah, who knew Reborn knew such a handsome man.”

Handsome man from Italy arriving with a contingent of dangerous looking men in suits.  So probably some kind of boss that Reborn has decided to bring in to test him.

Given that the hitman is waiting by his door, it seems he’s right on the money. 

“I’ve invited my previous student to Japan to meet with you” Reborn explains.

“You really didn’t have to” Tsuna mutters.  Reborn just smirks.

“Consider this your next test in channelling personalities” he says.  “Let’s see if you can do a better job when introducing yourself to someone who has no opinion of you.”

Tsuna’s eyes widen. 

Be someone else from the get go?  Don’t let the person see what little there is of Tsuna in the first place?

Reborn truly is the tutor from hell.

The hitman is already kicking the door open, so Tsuna fights back the shudder and wonders what he should do.  If he refuses, Reborn will punish him, and that way lies painful retribution.  Tsuna’s not going to be mafia, so it’s not like this person is going to interact with Tsuna regularly, he can pretend a little.  Just…who does he pick?

He mentally ran through his friends.  Gokudera is an immediate write off, but maybe Reborn expects him to try and perfect Kyoko.  However, Yamamoto lets any intimidation wash right over him which could be useful.  Brother…No.  No that would be too easy to backfire, but Hana could easily handle anyone Reborn threw at her…

He’s still mulling over his choices when he walks in and is faced with two ridiculously terrifying men.  He can’t even try to stop the ‘Hiei!’ their presence projects.

“Yo, Head of the Vongola” says a voice.  “I’ve come all the way from Italy to visit.”

There’s a leather seat he doesn’t recognise in the centre of the room, and when he finally registers its existence, it swings round, revealing a young blond man in a heavy coat with a furry hood.

“I’m the Tenth-Generation Boss of the Cavallone Family.  My name’s Dino.”

Tsuna freezes, and Reborn’s eyes narrow.  Dino’s mimic the action, before bursting into laughter.

“This is no good.”

He stands up, and walks over, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“You have no aura, you don’t look daring, you have no drive, and there’s no anticipation about you.”

Tsuna’s spine straightens.

The man might not be wrong, but it’s a little impolite to just come out and _say it._ Especially in his own house.

You know what?  Reborn wants him to channel a personality?  Tsuna’s gonna channel the **perfect** personality for dealing with mafia bosses who think they can _crowd_ in his territory.

(Reborn wants him to start using his acting abilities for more ‘mafia’ purposes?  Fine.  Nobody said he couldn’t have a little ‘fun’ doing it).

His eyes narrow, and he pulls up the foreign need for control that so encompasses Hibari’s life.  He stands taller, his hands flex, letting his presence announce and fill the room in a way nobody else can.

It’s immediately effective – Dino is jerking back, shock all over his features while his two bodyguards start reaching for weapons due to the killing intent that appeared from nowhere.  A scowl graces Tsuna’s face as he processes the blatant breaking of Namimori laws, and he could almost hear piano music in the background as stalked his way in.

“Herbivores, you’re crowding.”

His eyes don’t leave Dino’s, but he strides past, choosing to sit in Dino’s chair, legs crossed and one elbow on the armrest, supporting his head.

“Leave the premises, or I’ll bite you to death.”

Dino is, well, gawking.  There’s no other word for it.

 “…Wow.  Reborn you did good work.”

The hitman doesn’t answer, but Tsuna can spot the smile he’s trying to hide – deep down Reborn loves a good prank and Tsuna is an _excellent_ opponent.

Dino chooses to sit on the other end of the table – clearly where he’d meant for Tsuna to sit.  His men don’t seem happy, but their boss is just staring in fascination.

“That’s incredible.  How can you lock that level of killing intent away?  I know senior mafioso who can’t do it half as well as you, and they’ve had decades.”

Tsuna ponders the question, and the Hibari of his mind (that isn’t screaming to fight this _strong, strong_ interloper) decides a visual would be better than explaining. 

The glare melts away as he becomes Tsuna again, and gives his normal smile, completely throwing his guest off yet again.

“It’s kind of a gift” Tsuna answers, pretty sure that if Reborn wanted Dino to know about swapping, he’d be telling the boss himself.  Reborn is already nodding in approval.

“Much better this time Tsuna” Reborn critiques.  “I expected Hana, but I admit that was an admirable attempt.”

Dino is staring at the two of them in confusion.

“Reborn?”

“I’m a very good actor” Tsuna explains.  “I was channelling a friend of mine who can be pretty intimidating.”

Reborn chokes back a snicker.

“I’m sorry.  You’re right about all those things you said about me, but people…you don’t just come out and _say_ that sort of thing.  It made me angry.”

“I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you have an emotion that wasn’t panic” Reborn notes.  “I should try it more often.”

“Hiei?”

Dino just bursts into laughter again.

* * *

 

If it wasn’t for the fact that Dino is a mafia boss, Tsuna thinks he would really like his new self-proclaimed big brother.  The way he tells the story, young Dino would have fit right in with Tsuna’s group of misfits – carrying a burden too big for his shoulders and messing up everything without knowing what he himself wanted.  Tsuna isn’t going to be a mafia boss, but when he sees Dino jump out the window to save his men, he kind of likes the idea that Reborn can give him strength and confidence where there once was none.

Then as the night goes on, he realises Dino never wanted to be a Mafia boss, and now he is one, perfectly happy with the situation and loved by his men, and he remembers that Reborn’s lessons come with heavy price tags.  The destruction of anything his students might want in exchange for what Reborn’s clients _need_.

Nothing hones that in more than when Dino is released from his men, and Tsuna sees the man behind the boss.  The dorky klutz with a pet turtle-gamera hybrid, a far cry from the cool and suave man he’d been challenged by in his room.  Is that what Reborn wants for him?  A fake persona for the Vongola that can hide the real Tsuna?

He dearly hopes he never has to pretend to be Dino.  How the hell do you pretend to be someone who is pretending most of the time anyway?

* * *

Dino is thankfully leaving in the morning.  He just needs to make sure Enzo is fully dehydrated and then enjoy some more of Nana’s cooking – although he’s mentioned some of his men will no doubt show up because they’re overprotective ninnies.

As someone with Gokudera as a friend, Tsuna completely understands.  He also understands that after Haru, Gokudera is very big on escorting him to school, and the bomber doesn’t strike him as the type to react to heavily armed mafioso quietly.  As such Tsuna, when he hears the doorbell, is rushing out his bedroom, desperate to stop the war that could possibly occur.  When he reaches the top step, his mother is already at the door, and calling up for him.

“Tsu-kun!  You have a friend here to see you!”

Unfortunately, when he reaches the bottom step, he realises it’s a completely different war he has to avoid.  Because Hibari is standing in the doorway, looking as happy as he ever is.

“I require use of your body Sawada Tsunayoshi” he states.  “The Momokyokai are misbehaving.”

Tsuna immediately feels his shoulders sag.

“Hibari, this isn’t a good time” he insists.  “Reborn has his old student here, and he doesn’t know about…that.”

At his first refusal, Hibari had started to loom forwards, only for his eyes to brighten at the words ‘Reborn’ and ‘student.’

“The baby had another student?”

“Oh, is that one of your family little brother?”

“Hiei!”

Tsuna’s head snapped back to see Dino getting ready to head down the stairs.  He immediately lunged for the first step, hoping to cut him off in the middle.

“Nononononono!” he squawks.  “Nothing to see here!  Just head back upstairs Dino!”

He barely makes it up two steps before Dino tripped on the stairs, falling straight towards Tsuna, eyes wide in panic.  The teen stood frozen, the man crashing into him, and Tsuna felt lips touch his right before the blinding pain of getting headbutted split through his skull.

* * *

The two crashed to the ground, and Hibari frowned, sighing at the heap.

“Herbivores…”

Tsuna was out cold, but the blonde was trying to sit up, rubbing his head and wincing when he felt the hair.  He pulled the strands in front of his eyes and groaned.

“Dammit.  This one was **not** my fault!”

Hibari’s eyes narrowed.

“Sawada?”

The blond herbivore looked up, and the prefect gave the body another scan, noting the muscle hidden under the jacket and the whip on his belt before smirking.

Blond Tsuna looked a little confused, right up until Hibari started heading towards him, and paled dramatically.

“Hiei!  Hibari!  Wait a minute!”

He shuffled back as fast as he could, but the prefect stormed forward, grabbing Tsuna-Dino’s shirt and yanking him up into a kiss.  Tsuna-Hibari found himself flung to the ground as Hibari-Dino used him to push himself up, grabbing his tonfas and heading for the door.

“I’ll return the herbivore’s body during lunch,” he said, and before Tsuna could protest, slammed the door behind him.  Tsuna-Hibari gulped, and stared at Dino-Tsuna, still out cold on the floor, then up at the top step, where Reborn is staring in disbelief.

“Oops…”

* * *

To his credit, Dino-Tsuna handles body swapping with surprising grace.

“Honestly, after eight years of Reborn tutoring, this doesn’t even hit the top five craziest things that ever happened to me,” he happily explains over tea (which causes Tsuna to despair of his immediate future).  “But wow, that explains that whole thing yesterday, what an amazing power.”

He leans over in excitement.

“Could you um, do it again?” he asks.  “So I could feel what it’s like?”

Well…technically Hibari _was_ using his body without permission.  It only made sense that Dino should be allowed to use Hibari’s.

“Okay, but don’t do anything crazy or hurt his body” Tsuna-Hibari warns.  “Hibari makes us pay in blood for any damage we receive as him.”

Dino-Tsuna looks ridiculously eager, and happily leans into the kiss, being far more enthusiastic than Tsuna-Hibari expects.  When the switch occurs, Tsuna finds himself flying back on reflex, chair falling backwards and slamming him to the ground.  Dino-Hibari stumbles for a moment, before gaining his footing and blinking in shock.

“…Wow” he says, staring at his hands.  “This guy really is a monster.”

He does some minor stretches with his arms, then kicks the leg up, marvelling at the limberness. 

“What I wouldn’t give for some of this flexibility.  I haven’t been able to get my legs this high since my teens.”

Then, no doubt because Tsuna desperately warned him not to, Dino-Hibari’s balance wobbled, and the man slipped, clipping his head on the table as he did. 

“That’s because you were too lazy to keep up your stretching regime” Reborn warns, jumping onto Tsuna’s head.  “And be more careful with another Familia’s members Loser Dino.”

Dino-Hibari staggered back to his feet and gave a sheepish smile.  “Sorry, sorry.  Anyway, let’s get going.”

Now it was Tsuna’s turn to be confused. 

“Go?”

“Of course!” Dino-Hibari confirmed.  “We might be allies, but I’m not about to let a member of your family just steal my body for his own amusement.  My pride as a Cavallone is at stake.”

“He’s not a member of my-“ Tsuna begins, but trails off when he realises Dino-Hibari is heading for the door, no longer paying any attention.

When the man trips on the outside steps, Tsuna decides it’ll be better for his own health if he goes with the Don.  At this rate Hibari’s going to lose a limb.

* * *

Finding the Momokyokai ended up being relatively easy, as Dino-Hibari discovered the address in his pocket after his fifth stumble and near concussion.  By the time they reach the Momokyokai hideout, Tsuna’s not entirely sure Dino-Hibari should be anywhere near a fight.  The man’s natural inability to function without reminders of his boss status combined with Hibari’s much shorter limbs makes him a walking death trap to himself.

That said, when the walk in the door, it doesn’t seem like there’s much fight left to have.  Hibari-Dino’s having the time of his life pounding the last few members of the gang into submission.  He’s even traded one of his tonfas for the whip, and is grinning like a madman.

Clearly, the prefect has a new favourite body.  It’s probably a very good thing for Dino that he’s going back to Italy.

Suddenly they hear a commotion outside, and Tsuna blanches when he realises several cars with reinforcements have arrived.  Hibari-Dino is still distracted – they’re going to hit Tsuna and Dino-Hibari first – especially Dino considering just _who_ he’s possessing.

(Not that Tsuna, considering all the times Hibari’s borrowed _him,_ is any less a target).

“Hiei!  Dino!  You need to get out of here!” Tsuna yelps.

Dino-Hibari ignores him, lunging forward fist raised – and crashes to the ground just a few feet from the first gang member.  Tsuna’s eyes widen in horror…and falls to the ground at the sound of a gunshot.

“REBORN!”

* * *

In the end, Dino-Hibari inexplicably takes out 3 men, while Tsuna took out the remaining 12.  Sometime during Tsuna’s dying will episode, Hibari-Dino finished his Discipline run and was scowling at Tsuna from the side-lines.

“Sawada Tsunayoshi, you had no business interfering” he growls.  “And you are now in violation of Namimori Middle’s uniform code.”

Tsuna just sighs.

“Hibari, you can’t just **take** someone’s body” he argues.  “Dino didn’t agree to it, he didn’t even know it was possible, and now he does.”

“Good” is Hibari’s reply, a hint of a smile staring to peek through the glower.  “Now he can give permission.  This is an excellent substitute.”

He’s not listening.  Why is Tsuna surprised by this?  Of course he’s not listening.

This is where Dino-Hibari decides he needs to step in.  He’s currently by one of the walls that’s still standing, and bleeding rather profusely from his head, but that doesn’t stop him trying to march up and punch the body snatcher.

“You should listen to your boss” Dino-Hibari warns.  “You need to stop-wha!”

Tsuna and Hibari-Dino stared in shock as Dino-Hibari’s body slipped on dead air, crashing back into a wall and slumping to the ground.

“I’m okay…” Dino-Hibari groaned, stumbling back to his feet and trying to grab the wall for balance, only to miss it my almost a metre and go flying to the ground again.

“Less okay…”

Tsuna bit his lip, only to freeze as he felt a sheer wave of revulsion crash over him.  By his side, Hibari-Dino was glowering at him with murderous frenzy.

“Sawada, remove him from my body _immediately.”_

Tsuna gulps, but as he stares between the two body snatchers, whatever is left of his dying will slips through his brain and reaches his mouth before he can stop it.

“Well that’s what happens when you take bodies without permission Kyoya.  Don’t expect me to handle it for-”

Hibari-Dino’s eyes flash, and the confidence vanishes as quick as it came.

“I, uh, only meant that, it might be prudent to-Hibari no!  Hiei!!!!!!!!!!!”

* * *

That night, all three of them found themselves in the hospital.

The next morning, all of them were released.

All agree never to speak of the incident again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reminder:  
> Dino-Hibari: Dino in Hibari's body  
> Hibari-Dino: Hibari in Dino's body.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After several dying will bullets, Tsuna comes down with an unusual illness. His only hope? A doctor with 'interesting' views on patient care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should probably place warnings for, well, Shamal and his canon actions towards women.
> 
> Also, I'm considering getting a beta for this and my other fics since I clearly have no capability to proof read my own work. Looking through the fanfiction.net beta lists, but if anyone's interested let me know.

**Chapter 15**

When Dino leaves, Tsuna gets approximately 3 days to relax before he finds himself inundated with yet another new arrival.  Fuuta, an adorable nine-year-old who comes attached with a ranking book and a desperate need to rank anything and everything under the sun.  The second ‘most interesting powers’ crops up, the mafia’s going to have a record of Tsuna’s ability in Fuuta’s big book of very annoying rankings.  Much like Haru, he’s joining the ‘do not tell at all costs’ list.

Although they might have found the one child on the planet that Hana actually likes.  The second Fuuta ranked the cheapest bookstores in Namimori after ranking ‘Namimori woman most likely to rule the world,’ she let him share her cake.

Reborn seems to like Fuuta too, if for no other reason that his arrival brought with him chaos and disaster that could only be solved through a Dying Will bullet, and didn’t result in swapping occurring.  He’s started a tally on Tsuna’s wall of how many bullets he can shoot into his student without him kissing someone under the influence.  Tsuna finds it a little macabre, but at least he managed to convince Bianchi and Gokudera not to decorate it with skulls.  Counting swaps, he’s got to be close to double digits, but he tries not to think about it too much.

At this point however, he’s mostly just grateful Reborn doesn’t see the point in using the bullet on him to solve everyday tasks.  Getting through PE’s football game was hard enough without explaining the screaming and lack of clothing – they were losing to a fairly humiliating 3-1, and Tsuna could all but _feel_ the Hitman watching him in the distance and angling a weapon.

It’s really too bad that Kyoko wasn’t possessing him today.  The girl has always been more driven than him in sports.

The match ends with Tsuna’s team utterly trounced, and the boy sighs as he slips away from any of the teens who might complain that he hadn’t been putting in ‘Kyoko’ levels of effort.  As he moves, two teens from the opposite team move to flank him.

“Don’t worry about it Tsuna, your team was a little overwhelmed” Yamamoto offers, slinging an arm around his shoulders. 

“I can’t believe that stupid teacher refused to let me be on the Tenth’s team” Gokudera mutters, glaring at the act, and Tsuna gives a nervous chuckle as the three of them head towards the changing rooms.  The self-proclaimed right hand was relatively tolerant of most of Tsuna’s friends, but Yamamoto was as new to Tsuna’s life as he was.  The whole ‘mafia initiation game’ that Reborn had set up not long after Dino left had only made the situation worse…which was probably the toddlers intent all along.  The fact that Yamamoto swapped regularly with Tsuna was just the icing on Gokudera’s very angry cake.  The boy _hated_ having to show Yamamoto Tsuna-levels of respect on swap days.

But so long as Reborn doesn’t poke the teens again, the two of them should be able to get through the afternoon without one trying to kill the other.  All intents and purposes reveal it’ll be a normal afternoon…right up until the voice screeches across the field.

**“YOU CAN’T GET MORE THAN A 45 ON A TEST UNLESS YOU STUDY AS SOMEONE ELSE?  WHAT A USELESS PERSON!”**

“Hiei!” Tsuna shrieks, jumping half a foot in the air at the accusing (and accurate) insult.  Both Yamamoto and Gokudera freeze, glancing around.

“Who is that?”

“Did someone dare insult the Tenth?”

Tsuna just remains pale.  The voice was unfamiliar, so how could it possibly know that.

Then it calls out again.

**“WHAT KIND OF IDIOT IS AFRAID OF DOGS?”**

He shrieks.  That voice had come from _him._

He looks down at his arm. 

“HIEI!!!”

Yamamoto and Gokudera snap their heads down, checking out the brand-new skull motifs that have appeared out of thin air.

“Wow Tenth, I didn’t know you had tattoos” Gokudera gasps in awe.

“W-where did these come from?” Tsuna stutters.

“It’s a sign of the fatal skull disease you have.”

The teen shrieks as Reborn suddenly appears on Yamamoto’s head, dressed as the grim reaper.

“Reborn!”

“You’re going to die Tsuna.”

He paled in horror.

“What!  Y-you’re kidding, right?”

Reborn shook his head.

“When a person is shot with ten dying will bullets, something horrible happens to their body.  In this case, skull disease.  It’s too bad, you have the worst luck.”

“Why didn’t you think to mention this before!”

Reborn shrugs.  “Skull disease causes skulls to appear on your body and tell embarrassing secrets until you die.  It’s also called the ‘dying of shame’ disease.”

By his side, Gokudera had gone bone white.

“This can’t be!  There has to be a way to save the tenth!”

Yamamoto chuckled.

“That sounds kind of fun.  Like ultimate truth or dare.”

“Don’t disrespect the Tenth’s life so casually baseball idiot!  Reborn, there must be something we can do.”

“There is one way to save his life” Reborn admits, dropping to the ground as all three lean down.  “I have an acquaintance who specialises in fatal illnesses.  I asked him to come to Namimori when you reached eight bullets, so he should be here by now.”

“Fatal…ack!” Gokudera squawks.  “Is that stupid doctor coming here?”

“Eh, Gokudera?” Tsuna asks, and the teen blushes.

“Doctor Shamal.  He’s a doctor and a hitman” Gokudera explains.  “He’s the one who taught me how to use explosives.”

Reborn nods.  “He should be at your house after you finish school.  Which is a good thing considering you only have hours left to live.”

“…HOURS?”

* * *

Reborn sadly, didn’t see any reason to rush his medical friend’s arrival, and Tsuna was left to wait.  Unfortunately, waiting involved staying at school for the rest of the afternoon.  And his new ‘affliction’ didn’t want to stay quiet indoors.

Within ten minutes the skulls had screamed embarrassing secrets twice, and eventually students were going to realise they were coming from Tsuna.  As such, once changed, the teen was hesitant to enter class.  Once the situation was explained to Hana and Kyoko, they had a simple solution.

“Skip” Hana mutters, face in her hands.  “Just.  Just skip, before my brain tries to add logic to this recent insanity and makes it drip out of my ears.”

“Skull Disease is a perfectly ordinary mafia illness!” Gokudera argues.

“Might be a good idea though” Yamamoto offers.  “It’s kind of a bad idea to stay if you’re feeling sick.”

“But Hibari will bite him to death if he skips the afternoon!” Kyoko reminds them.

Hana doesn’t reply, too busy muttering about ‘immune based responses’ and ‘symptom reactions’ while Gokudera talks over her, but everyone pauses when the booming voice echoes through the corridor.

**“YOU LIKE WEARING DRESSES MORE THAN TROUSERS?  SUCH A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN!”**

Everyone blinks, while Tsuna goes on the defence.

“They’re comfortable” he insists, face red.  “It makes sense in context!”

Meanwhile, their classmates in the hall start looking around in confusion.

“Who said that?”

“I think it came from Tsuna.”

“Wow, you think he’s really a crossdresser?”

“That’s got to be embarrassing for Kyoko.”

Kyoko and Hana turned to each other, then glanced at Tsuna.

“Skip” they said in unison.

“But-“

“Don’t worry Tsuna, I’ll come up with a good excuse if the teacher asks” Yamamoto interrupts, and Tsuna feels his shoulders sag, and heads towards the exit.

He really shouldn’t skip…but this isn’t exactly normal circumstances.  He’ll run the risk of Hibari.

“I’ll come with you Tenth!” Gokudera insists, trailing after him.

“We’ll come straight to your house after school!” Kyoko calls down the hall.  “I promise.”

**“YOU WET THE BED UNTIL YOU WERE SEVEN?  HOW PATHETIC”**

Tsuna winces and decides running might be a good idea.

* * *

A few hours later, Kyoko and Hana grabbed their bags and headed into town, making a beeline for Tsuna’s house.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Kyoko asks, and Hana can’t resist rolling her eyes.

“Please, that baby has done everything in his power to keep Tsuna alive.  There’s no way he’ll let him die to something as stupid as a disease _he_ inflicted on him.  Bet we’ll get there and the doctor will have cured him already.”

Kyoko nod in relief.  “You’re right.  I wonder what a mafia doctor is like though?  Gokudera said he was a hitman too.”

“Can’t be that great if he’s a killer as well as a doctor” Hana mutters.  “Trust that baby to bring another weirdo.”

Someone suddenly slips in front of the two, blocking their way.

“Excuse me young lady, but would you mind going on a date with me?”

Hana blanches, staring up at the man in front of her, a foreigner in a suit and day-old stubble whose probably old enough to be her father.

“Ugh, no thanks” she scoffs, pushing past with Kyoko giggling beside her.

“I thought you liked older guys?” Kyoko whispers, and Hana rolls her eyes.

“How about your lovely friend then?” the man continues.

“I have a boyfriend, sorry!” Kyoko calls, continuing to walk away.  However, not ten seconds later, they stop and turn, paling when they realise the man is still following them.

“He doesn’t have to know!” Shamal singsongs.  “I promise to make it worth your while!”

The two meet eyes, and bolt down the street, ignoring the man’s frantic calls.

* * *

**“THAT’S SO EMBARRASSING.  WHEN YOU WERE TALKING IN YOUR SLEEP, YOU BIT YOUR TONGUE!”**

Tsuna groans as Gokudera dutifully slaps another bandage onto his skull-covered chest.  They didn’t do much to top the voices, but the bomber had been a complete wreck and it made him feel good to do something, so Tsuna let him continue.

“When is that stupid doctor going to get here” Gokudera growls, looking into the box and frowning at the last two band-aids.

“What’s he like anyway?” Tsuna asks, desperate to change the conversation to anything but his imminent death.  Gokudera scowls.

“He’s a lying pervert with no self-respect” he replies, only to pale when he sees Tsuna’s nervous face.

“B-but he’s a great doctor!  Seriously, all the mafia families want to hire him but he likes being independent.  If anyone can save you Tenth, it’ll definitely be Shamal” he encourages.  “I’m sure of it.”

Tsuna sighs, scratching a skull on his palm.

“I just hope he gets here soon.”

As if waiting for those words, the two of them hear the door open, and they glance at each other before rushing to the door.  Just as it opens, they spot Bianchi at the top of the stairs, aiming poison cooking at an unknown target.

“Just die you stupid doctor!” she screams, purple batter flying.

“Bianchi!  No!” Tsuna yells, lunging down the hall as Gokudera hesitates in the wake of his personal medusa.  The woman doesn’t appear to hear him, continuing to walk down the steps to stare at her handiwork.  There’s a man in a white coat at the bottom of the stairs, face covered in poison cooking.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve done something for the good of this world” Bianchi says with pride.

“Dammit Bianchi!” Gokudera screams, though the sound is muffled due to the teen hiding his face into the hallway wall to avoid staring at his sister’s face.  “We need him alive!”

Tsuna stumbles down the steps, pushing past the woman and trying to pull the doctor up.

“If he dies then I’ll die with him!” Tsuna moans.  “Sir?  Sir are you okay?”

“Feisty as usual…”

Tsuna jerks back as the man reveals he’d shielded his face from the poison cooking with some kind of cloth, and stands up to leer in Bianchi’s direction. 

“But woman should be that way.  I like you even more now!”

He lunges for Bianchi, lips puckered, only for Bianchi to slip aside and plant a roundhouse kick into the back of his face, smashing him into the stairs.  Seconds later, he’s back up.

“My, you’re so shy!”

“Get away!”

Tsuna stares in disbelief, while Reborn grins at the antics.

“As you can see, he loves women” Reborn explains.

“This guy is really a doctor?” Tsuna asks.  The man was pathetic enough to put Tsuna to shame…

“Of course,” Reborn tells him.  “I’ve been under his care before.”

“Eh, really?” Tsuna asks.  “Was it a fatal disease?”

“Nothing like that” Reborn replies, giving a slight smirk.  “Shamal delivered me from my mother.”

“Hiei?”

Before his brain can process that thought, there’s a knock at the door, and it opens to reveal Kyoko and Hana.

“Sorry we’re late!” Kyoko says.  “We got held up.”

“There was this creepy old guy accosting woman in town” Hana snaps.  “Took forever to shake…and why the hell is he in your living room!”

At the sound of more female voices, Shamal looks back, and grins at the sight of two familiar girls.

“Oh, did you beauties change your minds?”

Bianchi uses the distraction to whack the man with several slabs of poison cooking, and the teens wince as the doctor slams against the wall.  He’s avoided the toxins with yet more cloth protection, and as he pulls them off, Reborn steps forward.

“Shamal, this is Tsuna” he introduces.  “He’s the one suffering from skull disease.”

The doctor shakes off the poison cooking.

“Ah, right.  That’s why you called me out here.”

He walks over, eyes glancing at Hana and Kyoko (who both flinch and step back) before setting eyes on Tsuna, focusing on the hairclips and the androgynous form, before stepping forward and placing a hand on Tsuna’s chest, face falling when he failed to find what he was looking for.

“Oh no…this is no good.”

“Hiei?” Tsuna squeaks.  “What’s wrong?”

Shamal pulls back, clearly disinterested.

“You’re a man” he explains.  “I only treat women.”

“Hiei?”

“What kind of a doctor are you!” Hana yells in frustration, and Shamal smirks in her direction, eyebrows wagging.

“There’s nothing wrong with a female only doctor” he says.  “Consider it my _specialisation_.”

“Wait!  Didn’t you treat Reborn?” Tsuna splutters, and Shamal glares back.

“That was a special case!”

“Shamal!  Stop being an ass and save the tenth!” Gokudera howls from the second floor.  Shamal looks up in surprise, before grinning and giving the boy a wave.

“Oh, didn’t see you up there Hayato” he greets.  “Glad to see you’re still alive.”

“You won’t be for much longer if you don’t start doing your job!” Gokudera snaps back, pushing off the wall and storming down the stairs, grabbing a stick of dynamite.  But before he can light it, Bianchi walks back into the hall, and the teen gasps, face going green and crashing down the last of the stairs.

“Dammit…sis.”

Shamal doesn’t even appear to notice, eyes focused on Bianchi, who scowls and makes for the door.

“Bianchi darling!”

“You’re too persistent!”

She yanks open the door, only to find Yamamoto standing in the frame, hand up to ring the doorbell, and slips past him.  Shamal, not quite as quick, crashes into the teen, sending the two of them off the porch and slamming into the ground.  The doctor tries to shake it off and take off in pursuit, but is stopped when he feels an arm wrap around his.

He turns to scowl at Tsuna – surely, it’s the boy begging for his life – only to falter and relax at the sight of Kyoko smiling at him, taking him arm in arm back to the house.

“There’s no need to chase after Miss Bianchi Dr Shamal” she insists, tone as pleasant as can be.  “She lives here, and I’m sure Hana and I can keep you entertained until she returns.  Have you tried Nana’s cooking yet?  It’s to die for.”

Shamal glances at the street, and then happily prances back into the house.

“Well, when you put it like that, I guess I could stay a little while longer…”

* * *

While Yamamoto dragged Gokudera into the garden for fresh air, Hana and Kyoko coaxed Shamal onto a couch and had Nana bring him tea.  Tsuna spent a few minutes filling her in with a ‘Reborn-approved’ explanation (Tsuna was sick, Shamal was here to consult, no more).  Apparently Shamal’s flirting was limited to non-married women, because he was the perfect gentleman to Nana’s good-natured questions, giving the girls time to slip outside and help prepare a course of action.

“What about swapping?” Yamamoto offers, when Tsuna returns to them.  “If it’s connected to flames, maybe it’ll follow you into Kyoko’s body, and then you can get cured as a female?”

“That’s a terrible idea!” Gokudera warns, standing but still unnaturally pale and clutching his stomach.  “Flame diseases are notoriously tricky.  Most likely it would just infect both of them and have two dying victims.”

Yamamoto pouts, but nods in understanding.  Hana sighs and crosses her arms.

“Well, Kyoko has a plan that I hate” Hana admits.  “So, we’re keeping it in the plan B pile and going with Gokudera’s plan.”

The bomber is glowing with pride despite his pallor, and Tsuna winces.

“Do I want to know what it is?”

“We’re gonna play dirty” Hana warns.  “I’ll pretend to fall, and when he tries to help me up, we’ll get Gokudera to kick him from behind and as he falls, Tsuna will do his classic Tsuna thing and kiss him when he’s on the ground.  Once Shamal is swapped, he’ll either be suffering the disease himself, or he’s in the body of the next Vongola heir and not eligible so Reborn will **demand** he fix the problem.”

Tsuna shook his head.  “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

A skull pops up on his neck.

**“YOU’VE TRIPPED ON YOUR STAIRS MORE THAN 67 TIMES IN THE LAST YEAR?  WHAT A LOSER!”**

The boy drops to the ground and moans.

“It’s hopeless!”

Hana rolls her eyes and yanks him back up.

“Sawada, your temporary tattoos are being negative enough without you adding additional commentary.  Gokudera, you recovered enough to take him out?”

The bomber grins.  “I won’t let the Tenth down!”

“Great.  Yamamoto, you stay outside in case the man tries to bolt.  Kyoko, you’re on deck as the secondary distraction if we fail on the first attempt?”

The boy and girl do a mock salute.

“Excellent.  Now let’s do this thing before we have to fit Tsuna for a coffin and a tux.”

* * *

The plan starts off without a hitch.  Gokudera shambles into the room, overplaying his illness and slumping into a seat, looking as if he couldn’t stand without phenomenal effort.  Hana stands to the side playing with her phone, while Kyoko starts collecting plates and cups on the table, giving Shamal her most charming smile.

“Doctor, could you help me take these to the kitchen?”

Shamal is on his feet immediately.

“I’m always happy to help a charming little lovely like yourself” he coos, fingers twitching towards her, only to find them full of a mug while Kyoko skips out of grab range and heads towards the kitchen.  The man quickly follows, and Tsuna slips into the room quietly.

Right up until a skull decides to utter something terrifying.

**“WHAT A WASTE.  NOBODY LIKES YOU UNLESS YOU CAN DO SOMETHING FOR THEM!  HOW SAD!”**

Kyoko pauses, staring at Tsuna in shock.  He in turn has gone pale, unable to see how anyone else is reacting as he’s refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

To everyone’s credit, they shake it off, and Hana starts moving, bumping straight into Shamal as he makes for the hall, dropping to the ground with awkwardness betraying the fall’s falseness.

“Oof!  Oh dear, Shamal, could you help me up?” she asks with a charmed smile.  Shamal is on her in an instant, hand out and grinning like a loon.

Gokudera immediately leaps up, foot out and ready to send the doctor crashing to the ground.  Considering how easily Bianchi had done it, the teen was aiming with a smile, and Tsuna darts forward, ready to act.

Except Gokudera wasn’t a pretty girl.  And Shamal, for all his insanity, was in fact very skilled at what it did.

The man immediately spins to the side, pulling Hana up in a very awkward grasp, and Gokudera slips, momentum sending him to the floor with a squawk.  Tsuna tries to stop, but finds his feet slipping on the floor and crashes straight into the bomber, collapsing on top with a high pitched ‘Hiei!”

Shamal sighs, letting Hana go – but not before the girl feels a hand somewhere hands shouldn’t be and slaps the man hard across the face.

“Get off you pervert!”

The doctor snickers despite the red mark.  “Really sweetheart, if you want to distract me, be prepared to go all the way.”

He glances over at Gokudera, trying to scrabble to his feet, and then frowns at Tsuna, still recovering on the floor.

“Not really sure what you were trying there, but it was kind of pathetic.  Really Hayato, I taught you better than that.”

“Go to hell you perverted old man” the teen snarls.

Shamal sighs.

“No respect for your elders these days.  No matter, I can tell when I’m not wanted.  Guess it’s time to go find a more honest date in town.”

He heads for the door, and Tsuna lunges up.

“Hiei!  You can’t!  You have to cure me!”

“Young Vongola, I only treat men under very special circumstances” Shamal warns.  “So, unless you’ve got something to bargain with, I’m off to go chase the bewitching vixen in pink.”

He doesn’t make it five steps before Kyoko runs forward, throwing herself into the doorway.

“Tsuna can swap bodies with a kiss!”

“Kyoko!” Tsuna squawks.

“Oh, it’s Plan B then?” Yamamoto pipes up, head popping through the sliding door.

Shamal just looks confused, but the skull disease decides to choose that moment to pipe up, emerging on his neck.

**“SO EMBARRASSING.  YOU JUDGE PEOPLE ON HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO SWAP WITH THEM!”**

 He claps a hand over it.

“Hiei!  Please ignore that!”

He must be getting close to the deadline, because the skulls are definitely showing up quicker.

**“HOW PATHETIC, YOU ERASED YOUR IDENTITY SO YOU COULD PRETEND TO BE OTHER PEOPLE!”**

 Tsuna pales, hands wrapping round his waist.  Kyoko and the others swing round in shock.

“Tsuna?”

“It’s not what you think!” he squawks.  “That makes it sound worse than it is.”

Shamal is glancing in Tsuna’s direction, curiosity peaked despite himself.

“I admit that’s not something you hear everyday” he says.  “But still not seeing reason not to leave.”

Kyoko smiles back. 

“How about a deal?”

Shamal chuckled.  “Little lady, he has nothing I want.”

“No, but I do” she replies.  “If you heal him, I give you permission to possess my body until midnight tonight.”

“KYOKO!” Tsuna screeches, but its drowned out by Shamal.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS!”

The man’s face is red, and to Tsuna’s disgust, appears to be drooling.

“Deadly serious” Kyoko replies with a butter-wont-melt smile.  “I’m sure a man like you can think of many things you can do with a female body.”

“But nothing illegal!” Hana is quick to add, shoving herself between the two.  “Or permanently damaging physically or mentally!”

The doctor is actively giggling now, and Tsuna takes Kyoko’s hand, dragging her outside before grabbing the girl by the shoulders, shaking her furiously.

“Kyoko, you can’t do this!” he hisses.  “You’re giving your body to a total stranger!  And a rather awful one at that too!”

**“YOU MAKE SOMEONE SWAP WITH YOU WHENEVER YOU HAVE A VACCINATION?  WHAT A CRYBABY!”**

“Will you just shut up!” Tsuna screams at his arms.  The girl looks at him sympathetically, and pulls Tsuna’s hands away.

“I promise there’s a plan” Kyoko insists.  “But he won’t help you unless we make it worth his while, and none of us are willing to let you die.  Not if there’s something we can do about it.”

“But-“

Kyoko gives him a small smile.

“Tsuna, you think you don’t matter” Kyoko warns him, choosing to ignore.  “That you could vanish and nobody would notice.  We’re your friends and at no point did we see how much you were suffering.  Please let us start making up for that.”

Tsuna hesitates, shoulders dropping.  “You’re wrong.  It wasn’t really suffering – I’ve always been this way.  How could you notice?”

Kyoko instantly shakes her head.  “No, you weren’t always like this.  You were always quiet, but you were fun, and sweet, and so determined to protect what was yours.  It wasn’t until Hibari found out that you started to pull away.  I can see it now – we liked swapping so you got drowned out by all of us.  It took Reborn showing up before we could see how _wrong_ it was.  Why did I never realise I hardly had to act when I was you?  It wasn’t just us getting familiar with it, you actively made it easier for me.”

The boy shrugged.  “I don’t regret it though” he admits.  “Swapping kept you around.  Swapping kept everyone around.”

Kyoko’s eyes grow sad.  “We would have stayed even if you didn’t want to kiss again.”

Tsuna looked away.  “Maybe.  But how much of our relationship consists of us being each other?”

Kyoko bites her lip, unable to answer.  Eventually, her fists clench, and her eyes harden.

“Then let us fix that” she insists.  “You spend so much of your life being us, let us save your life by using it.  It’s time for me to pay for how much I take.”

 _‘It’s not like that’_ Tsuna wants to scream.  He did everything willingly, happily.  Being Kyoko was as much his release as it was hers.  He didn’t need to worry about his life so long as he could pull off hers.  It was being able to handle everyone else on top of that which made him buckle.  Kyoko was a better person than him, it’s why he was so willing to let himself get suppressed.

Somehow though, he thinks the girl won’t appreciate that answer, and drops his head in surrender, missing Kyoko’s look of relief as he submits, and pulls them back inside.

Shamal has moved to the couch since they left, grinning in Hana’s direction with his arm splayed across the top.  Hana in turn, has moved to sit on the arm of the chair, scowling in his direction while she texts on her phone.  The doctor looks up and smirks at the determined Kyoko.

“So, are we good?”

Kyoko nods.  “Heal Tsuna, and you can have my body until midnight tonight.  Provided you don’t do anything illegal or permanent, and stay in the city, neither Tsuna nor I will interfere with what you do.”

Shamal grins, and starts digging through his bag, while Hana nods and sits up.

“Okay.  Just for the record I think this is a terrible idea, but admittedly can’t think of anything better.  Be right back.”

She finishes punching in a number into her mobile and walks out the room.

* * *

Shamal insisted on a written contract, so it was a frantic fifteen minutes hashing out the details before he was willing to crack open the necessary mosquito capsule and infect Tsuna with Angel Disease.

Tsuna gritted his teeth as the insect lazily flies over, dancing on his skin before biting down. The skulls start to fade, and Tsuna grins in relief as his skin returns to its normal unblemished self.  Shamal gives him a once over and grins in satisfaction.

“There you go.  All your little fears and psychological nightmares are back in your head where they belong.  Now, there’s just the small matter of payment?”

Kyoko nods, and although Tsuna looks miserable, the two quickly swap with a tentative kiss, before Tsuna-Kyoko braces and walks over to the doctor.  The man grins, leaning down.

“You know, even if this is all a crock, a pretty girl like you being so forward is almost payment en-URK!”

Not wanting to listen to the man any longer, Tsuna-Kyoko pulls at the man’s coat, pulling off the fastest and lightest kiss he can pull off.  The switching sensation clearly disorients Shamal, as he pulls back and stumbles to the ground, while Tsuna shakes off the strange feeling of being taller than he’s ever been.

Shamal feels weird.  There’s a stiffness to the man’s joints that’s completely unfamiliar, and a pulsing in his veins that just feels unnatural.  For all he swaps, it’s never been with someone outside his age bracket, or not in relatively good health – Shamal is almost weirder than being female.  Hana is watching him with both suspicion and worry, and he stumbles to sit next to her, trying to get used to the limbs.

Shamal-Kyoko is clearly just as disoriented.  He stumbles to his feet, hands rubbing together as he takes in the smooth skin.  They don’t take long to reach the body, and the grin is utterly lecherous and scary on Kyoko’s face.

“Holy crap, you weren’t joking.”

“Just remember what you promised” Kyoko-Tsuna warns.  “Don’t leave town, do nothing permanent or scandalous and be back before midnight.”

“And nothing that’ll leave Kyoko with a prison record” Hana adds, voice dark as she held up the contract.

“Or unable to show her face in town again” Tsuna-Shamal finishes.  Shamal-Kyoko merely waves a hand in their direction.

“Yes, yes, yes.  Now, if you excuse me, I’m off to have a very good time” Shamal-Kyoko purrs, all but dancing towards the door.

“Not so fast!”

He squawks and flails as the side doors from the garden suddenly crash open, showing a furiously exuberant Ryohei and rather agitated Hibari.

“Hana texted me of the extreme plan to save Sawada!” Ryohei roars.  “As her brother, it’s my duty to make sure her body is not misused to the extreme!”

“Hn, you are possessing the body of a Namimori Middle Student” Hibari adds.  “You will obey the rules of Namimori or be bitten to death.”

From the couch, Hana chuckles.  Shamal-Kyoko’s head swings toward her, eyes narrowing.

“Hey, we had a deal-“

“-That _Kyoko and Tsuna_ wouldn’t stop you from doing whatever you wanted so long as you didn’t leave the city or break the rules” Hana interrupts.  “We never said anything about Sasagawa or Hibari, this was all their idea.”

Tsuna-Shamal starts to grin, hiding it behind his hand.  There’s no doubt on just how Brother and Hibari got this idea into their head – Hana will rule the world one day, he’d put money on it.

Shamal-Kyoko starts to snarl something, but is jerked back when Ryohei loops her arm through his and pulls him towards the door, Hibari trailing after them.

“I will show you a tour of Namimori to the extreme!”

“Do not crowd herbivores.”

The door slams closed, and Kyoko-Tsuna stares at Hana in disbelief.

“Hana” she says.  “I know we managed to convince Brother to interfere, but how on earth did you talk Hibari into helping?”

The girl stretches out on the couch, grinning like a loon.

“Oh please, all I had to say was that a notorious rule breaker would be possessing a Namimori student in order to keep his ‘small animal’ alive.  I may have also mentioned that he was a friend of the baby’s and a notorious assassin who wouldn’t be happy at being kept in check…”

“…He’s expecting a fight isn’t he?”

“I admit I’m banking on him waiting for Shamal to go back into his own body, but yeah, there should be blood.”

* * *

There is, but it’s mostly on Brother.  It only took Shamal a few hours to realise it would be easier to slip his bodyguards if he got them to turn on each other.  Thankfully, by the time they track Shamal down again the worst he’s done is settle into the woman’s bath and flirt with a rather busty waitress in a café Kyoko doesn’t normally frequent.

He’s more than a little impressed when he strolls back in at midnight though.

“I figured you’d be relying on Reborn keeping me in check, so coming at me with bodyguards was a smart plan” he admits, wiping a lipstick smear off ‘Kyoko’s’ cheek.  “You’re a couple of tricky minxes.  Still, wouldn’t mind a part 2 sometime in the future.”

“Future?” Tsuna-Shamal repeats.  “Aren’t you leaving?”

Shamal-Kyoko grins, looping an arm around his shoulders and giving the host of his real body a ridiculously huge smooch.  When Tsuna-Kyoko is released, he gasps for air while Shamal clamps his arms tight around his chest.

“I was, but Reborn wants me to stick around, and it’s usually safer for my continued health to do what he wants, so you’re looking at Namimori’s newest school nurse.”

Tsuna-Kyoko’s eyes widen.

“Hiei!”

“So, question, how many females are in on this?  Anyone in the Double D range?  And legs?  I have a thing for great legs.  And blondes.  You know any blondes?”

Tsuna-Kyoko squeaks as he struggles to get out of the tight grip.  Kyoko-Tsuna immediately rushes towards them, trying to pry the hands loose.

“Don’t get me wrong, Kyoko is a treat and that Hana girl with have men wrapped around her finger in a few years, but there’s no real replacement for maturity.  How about Bianchi?”

“Kyoko!” Tsuna-Kyoko wails, and the two of them manage to loosen the doctor’s arms enough for Tsuna to slip out.  Shamal lets them loose, smirking as they kiss back.

“You know, I was ready to ring Reborn’s neck when he landed me with that bunk job, but I think I’m really gonna like it here.”

Tsuna winces.

“Just please tell me this is the worst the mafia is going to throw at me” Tsuna moans.

* * *

 

At the very moment he utters those words, a prison high in the mountains of Europe sounds the alert for a prisoner outbreak…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He’s heeeere…
> 
> Also question. After the Varia arc I’m planning to finish this up with an original-ish arc…but I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to write it (having plot issues and it’s far more convoluted than it needs to be). That said, I was going to start putting nuggets alluding to it in early chapters.
> 
> So, would you like the foreshadowing, or with the chance that I might just snap and finish up with the Varia arc (because I’m pretty sure that’ll be a good, solid place to end DK&T), avoid it and just slam you all with new info as it’s written?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is attacking Namimori students. This shouldn't be Tsuna's problem, except, somehow, it is.

**Chapter 16**

Officially, everyone not involved in a club should have left Namimori’s premises once school finished unless they wished to incur the wrath of Hibari.  However, armed with the knowledge that the prefect was making his rounds elsewhere, while Tsuna remained in his office to keep up appearances, the opportunity was too great to pass up.

So, with the biggest threat occupied and the topic of their plans distracted, several teens found themselves huddled in an empty classroom, slouched around desks as Kyoko presided over them, slamming a small hammer into the teacher’s desk.

“Order!  Order!”

Gokudera leans over to the next desk and hisses at Hana.

“Who got her the gavel?”

The girl just smirks.

“Thank you for attending” Kyoko calls out, once it’s clear she has their attention.  “Welcome to the very first meeting of the ‘Help-Tsuna-Feel-Valued’ club!

“Excited to be here to the extreme!” Ryohei offers, while Yamamoto gives a mock salute.

“As you all know, it’s recently come to our attention that we have been less than spectacular friends to Tsuna” Kyoko continues.  “As such, this club was formed to help fix that.  He lets us do whatever we want when he swaps with us, so it’s time for us to pay that back.”

“Well, we could all start by not swapping so much” Hana offers.  “All of the problems stem from the swapping.”

“But he likes swapping” Kyoko defends.  “Maybe we should be making a point of doing things he likes when he’s not.  What are his hobbies?”

“He’s always playing sports, and seems to enjoy PE,” Yamamoto offers.  “Maybe we should play sports?”

Kyoko was already shaking her head.  “Tsuna doesn’t like sports.  I’m the one that’s playing, he’d swap with me every time he has gym class if he could.”

“Wow, you must really like sports Kyoko” Yamamoto laughs, and the girl blushes.

“T-the girls don’t get to play as much.  And people don’t expect me to be as rough as I’d like to be.”

“You should have kept up that ‘Amazonian Princess’ rep you had at elementary” Hana sing songs.

“Oi!  Kyoko is a princess to the extreme!” Ryohei defends.  “She’s not built for extreme sports!”

“Brother!”

“Judging from what I’ve seen from his room, he likes Shonen manga and video games” Hana ploughs through, getting back on topic.  “Why don’t we just grab a new multiplayer and surprise him with it?”

“Does he like multiplayer though?” Yamamoto asks.  “And what type?  Fighting, sports, racing?”

“And he might just like rpg’s or single player games” Kyoko replies, shoulders dropping.  “Anyone else get the feeling this shouldn’t be as hard as it is?”

“Why don’t we just ask him what he likes?” Hana sighs, clearly getting frustrated.  Kyoko looked horrified.

“Hana!  We can’t do that!  We’ve been his friends for years!  We can’t just go up to him and say, ‘we don’t know what you like to do so can you tell us?’”

Ryohei nods.  “That doesn’t seem like a very extreme thing do.”

Gokudera shoots to his feet.

“Then I can do it!” he yells with glee.  “I need to learn more about the Tenth!"

Kyoko stares at him with a look of astonishment.

“That’s…that’s actually perfect!” she says.  “You’re new, and you’ve got an obsessive need to know everything about Tsuna!”

“I wouldn’t say ‘obsessive’…” Gokudera mutters.

Kyoko slams the gavel down.

“You’re the only one!  The motion stands!”

Gokudera scowls, but when it’s ineffective against the girl in front, directs it back towards Hana, who just shrugs.

“Let it be.  Look how happy she is.”

* * *

 

When they first started switching in Middle School, Tsuna had mostly bluffed his way through the paperwork Hibari’s self-imposed duties required.  However, by this point Tsuna-Hibari could fill out the forms as well as the original.  The only thing missing was the signature, and only because Hibari point blank refused to let him. 

Which is why he found himself staring at the schedule for next week’s patrols, and finding a distinct lack of names.  There were at least six names missing, some of the more competent members of Hibari’s trusted, with no reason or explanation.

He wants to ask, but there’s no way Hibari doesn’t know, and the prefect never questions something he’s been told.  Tsuna-Hibari trying to query will lead to broken bones if original-Hibari ever finds out.

As such, he ignores the burning question on his tongue and continues, only to raise his eyes at the request for increased budget for medical supplies.  It gave him a sinking feeling, and it wasn’t getting much better.

The sun had nearly set, and he was finishing off the last piece of paperwork, when Hibari-Tsuna walks in, dirty, and sporting a bloody lip, but otherwise, surprisingly unharmed.  Before Tsuna-Hibari can even think about greeting him, Hibari opens his mouth.

“Tell the boxing and bomb herbivores to be alert.”

Tsuna-Hibari blinks, only to have missing prefects and requests for bandages flash through his head.  Hibari’s brain is no slouch, and the pieces fit together quite nicely.

“Someone is targeting fighters from Namimori Middle.”

Hibari-Tsuna’s lips twitch.

“Hn, it’s fascinating how quickly you think like this.  Someone has been hunting down Namimori students with a proficiency in defending themselves.  At first, they were only targeting the prefects, so I thought it was someone with a grudge against us.  But none of the groups I questioned were involved, and now members of the martial art clubs are being hospitalised.”

Tsuna-Hibari nods, standing and making his way over.

“You believe Brother-“

“Do not refer to him as such while in my body” Hibari-Tsuna snaps, and Tsuna-Hibari winces.

“Sorry.  You believe Sasagawa and Gokudera will be targeted next.”

Hibari-Tsuna nods, lifting his head as Tsuna-Hibari approaches and kisses him.  Once switched, Hibari moves away and takes the seat Tsuna had vacated.

"You may also wish to alert Yamamoto Takeshi.  He may not be an official fighter, but his skills and instincts make him one of the most promising should he ever take an art up.”

Tsuna nods.  “I’ll let him know.”

He turns to leave.

“Sawada Tsunayoshi.”

He pauses at the door.

“You should consider taking precautions as well.”

The laugh that follows is completely involuntary, and Tsuna slaps his hands over his mouth to silence it instantly.  Hibari is already glaring at him, so it’s best to start grovelling.

“Sorry!  Sorry!” he squeaks, hands waving in front of him.  “It’s just, I’m not a fighter.  I’m no good unless I’m in someone else’s body.”

“Hn.  Get out of my office Sawada.”

“Going!  Going!”

* * *

It’s absolutely ridiculous that Tsuna would need to worry.  And since a certain hitman feeds on the R word, Reborn jumps on his head the second he leaves the room.

“I’ve heard the news.  Seems a dangerous enemy has entered Namimori.”

“It’s not that big a deal” Tsuna replies.  “Every six months or so somebody tries to take out Hibari.  It’ll all blow over in a week.”

“Really?  Even though they’re not just targeting the Disciplinary Committee.”

Tsuna winced.  “Sure that’s…odd, but it’s not the first time.  I’m not worried, I just need to warn Brother and Gokudera, that’s all.  I’ll speak to them before school starts tomorrow.”

Reborn makes a sound – the kind that means he’s smiling. 

“Why wait?  They’re all outside.”

Tsuna frowns, but when he reaches the exit, he spots everyone heading out the grounds.

“Kyoko?  Everyone?”

The group pauses, and Gokudera swings round to leap at him with delighted cheer.

“Good evening Tenth!  How was your duty as head of the Disciplinary Committee?”

It was still rather unnerving to have someone so delighted to be in his presence, so Tsuna just chuckled nervously.

“It, it was fine” Tsuna replies.  “What are you all still doing here?”

Eyes widen and are immediately averted.

“Uh, cleaning!”

“Baseball practice”

“Tutoring monkeys”

“Waiting for you Tenth!”

The excuses fall on top of each other in a hapless jumble of noise, and Tsuna just shrugs and smiles, letting Yamamoto pull him into the middle of the group while they head out of the school.  Reborn decides to shift positions and hop onto Yamamoto’s shoulder, wearing a smirk that suggested he knew far more than Tsuna did – although that’s hardly new.

“Thought you would have headed out by now” Yamamoto tells him.  “Hibari kept you pretty late.”

“He’s got a lot to deal with right now” Tsuna admits.  “There’s someone attacking Namimori Middle students.”

“Oh?  I hadn’t heard that.”

“Yes” Reborn says.  “Seems several of the Disciplinary committee have been attacked this weekend.”

“Again?” Hana moans.  “Great, that means the Disciplinary Committee will be on high alert for any infraction while they deal with it.”

Gokudera’s head is spinning between the two.  “People attack Namimori often?”

“Gangs and delinquents from other schools have a tendency to go for Hibari” Kyoko tells him.  “He always crushes them pretty quickly – as strange as Hibari seems, he really does protect his people when they’re at risk.

Tsuna nods.  “But this time they’re going for anyone who can fight.  Hibari says a lot of the martial art team members have been attacked.  You and Brother should probably be alert for the next few days.  Don’t go anywhere alone.”

“You don’t need to worry about me Tenth!” Gokudera immediately protests.  “There’s no way a civilian gang member could threaten me!”

“If they’re strong, maybe I can get them in my boxing club to the extreme!” Ryohei roars, delight on his face.  “I will extremely make them see the error of their ways!”

He immediately regrets it when Kyoko swings round, horror on her face.

“Brother, you can’t fight them!” She insists.  “You haven’t gotten into a street fight in years!  You can’t start picking fights now!”

“I wouldn’t be picking fights to the extreme!” Ryohei protests, but Kyoko runs right over it.

“It doesn’t matter, you can’t just fight someone in the street” she says.  “Promise me that you won’t go looking for them, and if they find you, you’ll run away.  That you’ll only fight if you have no other option.”

“Kyoko!”

“Promise me!”

There is a literal novel of emotions passing over the boxer’s face, before all life seems to sag from him and his head drops.

“…I promise I won’t attack if they find me.”

Reborn lets out a dark chuckle, but before Tsuna can do more than frown, Kyoko smiles and swings round to start skipping ahead.  Gokudera immediately starts coughing into a hand to hide his snickering, and Tsuna chooses not to question it.  Kyoko has long since resigned herself to patching her brother up, but getting him into a sport had kept him out of the streets, and neither she or Tsuna want to see that change anytime soon.  He turns his head towards Yamamoto, who still has an arm slung around his shoulder.

“Hibari said you should probably be careful too Yamamoto.”

“Eh, really?” Yamamoto replies, surprise on his face before grinning.  “But I’m not in any of the martial art clubs.”

“You’re fighting prowess is still quite significant” Reborn replies, but his eyes narrow as he says it, clearly remembering something.

“Yamamoto is an extreme guy!” Ryohei argues back, and Yamamoto laughs.

“In that case, Tsuna should probably be careful too, don’t you think?”

Kyoko nods, while Hana sighs and Ryohei agrees enthusiastically.  Gokudera however, straightens instantly.

“I will not leave your side Tenth!” he vows.  “These assholes won’t get within six feet of you.  I’ll stand guard outside your house all night if I have to!”

“Hiei!  That’s really not necessary Gokudera!”

* * *

Eventually, Yamamoto releases his grip and wanders towards his home with Gokudera in tow.  The bomber wasn’t elated with the idea, but after Tsuna’s revelation, it didn’t seem right to let anyone head off alone.  Hana struck gold by telling him Tsuna needed someone he trusted to protect the baseball player, and Tsuna had played right along, sending the teen into full right-hand mode, marching Yamamoto down the street.  Reborn jumps to the top of a wall to keep walking along, only to pause as Hana, Kyoko and Ryohei reach their turnoff.

“Be careful heading home Tsuna” Kyoko insists, and turns to Reborn.

“You have to watch out for him Reborn” she warns.  “If somebody finds him, we’re close enough to help.”

Reborn smiles.

“I’m sure he’ll be just fine.”

The girl nods, and breaks off.  Hana glances in their direction, and smirks.

“Try not to get attacked in the next five minutes Sawada.  If you do, Kyoko will cry, and then I’ll have to make you cry.”

Tsuna sighs.

“Yes Hana.”

The girl nods, and follows her friend into the evening.  Ryohei however, hesitates, waiting until the girls are several feet away before turning to face Tsuna.

“Sawada.  I have a request.”

The boxer had one of the most serious expressions Tsuna had ever seen on his face.

“What is it brother?”

“Sawada, I consider you family to the extreme, and I know Kyoko does too.  So, I hope you’ll listen when I ask this.  Please don’t swap with Kyoko until the culprits are caught to the extreme.”

Tsuna’s eyes widened.

“Brother, I wouldn’t be-“

“Please” Ryohei continues.  “Until it’s safe, I don’t want Kyoko in any body but her own to the extreme.  If she’s in your body and they come to attack Octopus Head or Yamamoto, she’ll extremely try to help, and I don’t want her to get hurt.  So please, keep her safe to the extreme.”

Slowly, Tsuna nods.  All things considered, it’s not an unreasonable request.  Still…

“What about you brother?  Are you really going to keep your promise?”

“Of course,” Ryohei says.  “I never attack anyone.  That’s not what a man does.”

Reborn smirks.

“I notice you never said anything about defending.  Or even attacking.”

Tsuna’s eyes widen, and he stares at the sheepish teen.

“Brother!  You lied to her!”

“It wasn’t lying to the extreme!” Ryohei insists.  “Kyoko doesn’t understand that sometimes a man has to fight.”

Tsuna shakes his head.  “That’s not right Brother.  You know what she meant.  How will she feel if you get hurt?”

Ryohei looks away, although his expression suggests he’s anything but sorry.  Tsuna takes a deep breath, and clenches his fists.

“Brother, I’ll promise not to swap with Kyoko, if you keep your promise to Kyoko.  The promise she thought you made.  It’s a promise between men.”

Ryohei’s face twists in yet another ridiculous array, but Tsuna just crosses his arms and waits it out.

“…Okay” he says with more than a little bitterness.  “I promise I won’t fight unless I have no choice.”

Tsuna smiles in relief.  “Thank you, Brother.”

The teen sighs, before throwing on a grin and giving a half-hearted wave as he chases after Kyoko.

“Stay safe Sawada.”

* * *

By the next morning, the news that Namimori Middle is under attack has even hit the ears of parents, because Nana has brought out self-defence pamphlets while Lambo and I-pin run around promising to attack any villains that attack.

“Maybe you should consider it Tsuna” Nana says, holding up the leaflets with a smile.  “You have a lot of strong friends, and you’ve been training so much.  Wouldn’t you like to learn more?”

“I’m fine with what I have mom” Tsuna insists, pulling the leaflets away.  “I know enough to dodge and run away.  Who needs more than that?”

Nana pouts, and taps a finger the split lip left from Hibari’s exploits.  “I just want my baby boy to be safe.  Don’t go anywhere alone okay?  Mama will worry if you do.”

Tsuna sighs, but puts on a smile anyway.  “I promise.  But nobody is going to attack me.”

He grabs his bag and heads for the door before she can try to slip the flyers into his bag.  Only to open and find Kyoko with her hand up, ready to knock.

“Kyoko?”

“Good morning Tsuna” she greets.  “Did you get a good night’s sleep?”

Tsuna nods, but before he can reply, the girl barrels through.

“So, since Gokudera is sticking with Yamamoto, and Hana’s promised to watch Brother, I’m guarding you” she says with glee.  “Nobody is allowed to be on their own.  And don’t worry, I know you promised Brother you wouldn’t swap with me this week, so don’t worry about breaking that to me this week.”

The boy’s shoulders sag in minute relief, and calls out a goodbye as they head down the path.

“Remember to think about the classes!” his mother calls right as they leave, and Kyoko glances his way.

“My mom heard about all the attacks” Tsuna admits.  “She wants me to try taking up some kind of self-defence.”

“That could be fun” Kyoko says, and her eyes light up.  “You could try karate, or judo!  Or maybe capoeira!  My brother watched a documentary on that one and it looks like it could be a lot of fun.”

Tsuna can already tell she’s picturing what it would be like to try those herself, and he smiles.

“I guess if there’s one you want to try, I could sign up for you to check it out.”

Almost instantly, her smile vanishes, and she’s waving her head in shock.

“Oh, nononono!  If you don’t want to do it, you shouldn’t do it just because I want to.  You shouldn’t do that Tsuna, it’s not fair” she insists.  “Not unless there’s something you want to do and have to use me to do it.”

She looks so horrified that Tsuna immediately feels guilty for bringing it up, and desperately scrambles for another topic.

“It’s too bad Fuuta hasn’t been around lately” Reborn offers, for the first time being useful and steering the conversation onwards.  “He could rate which of the styles would suit you best.”

Or maybe not.

“I don’t need to learn how to fight Reborn!”

Kyoko frowns.  “Fuuta is missing?”

Tsuna pauses, and runs through the last few mornings.  Come to think of it, when was the last time he saw the oldest of Nana’s wards?  He remembers seeing him Tuesday…Nana made waffles and Fuuta grabbed the last helping, but since then?

It sounds bad, but with Lambo and I-pin running around, Fuuta just isn’t loud enough for anyone to notice he’s missing.  Someone should probably figure out where he is, but – Fuuta’s the only one of the kids Reborn actively _likes_ , surely he would have noticed if he’d been abducted?  The boy is probably just off exploring and gotten distracted.  He seems like the kind of kid who would do that.

Tsuna slumps.  “I didn’t even realise.  Between swapping and Hibari and that stupid disease and…Reborn, I’ve been all over the place.  Just tell me we don’t have a test today.”

Kyoko chuckles.  “Well, we don’t, but Brother’s in some trouble.  Hana found out he’s been hiding a history test, so he’s been forced to miss his usual training in exchange for cramming this morning.”

The boy perks up at that.  It’s always a good thing when Hana’s ire is directly at someone who isn’t him.

* * *

Ryohei yelped as the text book whacked against his head.

“Concentrate Sasagawa” Hana snaps.  “I did not spend several hours in a library with you last month for you to forget the entire Meiji period!”

“I haven’t forgotten the Meiji period to the extreme!” Ryohei argues.  “It was very extreme!”

“Uh huh, and after the Meiji period came?”

Ryohei paled.  “Uh…the not extreme one?”

Hana growled and hefted up the history book.

“Sasagawa, I _will_ keep hitting you…”

“I know the answer to the extreme!” Ryohei defended, hands up to try and pry the book away.  “It’s just…extremely hard to keep them in order.”

Hana rolls her eyes.  “Sometimes I don’t even know why I bother.”

A chuckle floats through the street.

“Can’t argue there.  Guy looks like he’s all brawn and no brain-byon.”

They jerk to a stop, and frown as they take in the blond boy in the Kokuyo Middle School uniform.  He smirks and steps forward.

“Are you Sasagawa Ryohei?”

Hana pales when she spots the scar all but slicing the teens face in half – that combined with an out of town uniform meant nothing good.  Ryohei on the other hand-

“You’ve heard of me?  Are you an extreme boxer too?  You should join my club – I don’t care if you’re from another school!”

“Sasagawa!” Hana snaps, while the blond grins.

“Tell you what, if you beat me, I’ll join.”

Ryohei’s face lights up, and he steps forward, only for Hana to lunge in front of him.

“You stupid monkey, this is one of the guys attacking Namimori students!”

The smile vanishes from his face, and he looks over in shock.  The blonde just laughs.

“Wow, so you’re the brain.  Guess you’re really the perfect couple-byon.”

“We’re not a couple!”

“W-WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING TO THE EXTREME?”

He just laughs and steps forward.  Ryohei moves to meet him, only to feel Hana at his back.

“Sasagawa, we need to go” Hana said, hand on his shoulder.  “Remember what Tsuna said.”

“He extremely wants to fight Hana” Ryohei protests.  “And he’s been attacking my classmates.  I can’t walk away to the extreme.”

The boxer moves forward, only to pause when Hana clamps her hands around his arm.

“Ryohei.  You promised Kyoko.  Don’t do this.”

The teen winces, head twisting between her and the blond in front of him, face as pale as his hair.

“Hana…I can’t…it’s not…”

“Ugh, I can’t stand girls getting in the way.  I’ll deal with you first-byon.”

The Kokuyo teen lunges forward, and Ryohei’s eyes widen when he realises the punch isn’t aimed at _him._

“Hana!  Move!”

Before she can react, Ryohei throws his arms around her and throws them both to the side.  The teen shoots past them, and the air from the missed punch sets every instinct in the boxer’s body on high.  He barely hears Hana yelling, moving upwards and lunging for his opponent.

“You will not do that again to the extreme!”

“Sasagawa!  Don’t you dare!”

It’s no good, the boxer is in full match mode.  Not that it matters – his first punch misses, the blond’s second punch does not, and slams the older teen into the ground.

Hana curses, and scrambles for her phone.  Her fingers hesitate momentarily between numbers, before punching in Tsuna’s and hiding behind a garden gate.

“Hana?  What’s wron-“

“Sawada!  Hibari’s enemy monkeys just found Sasagawa!  You and that damn baby need to get here now!”

* * *

“You promised Brother!  You even promised me!”

From the hospital bed, Ryohei looked away, but Kyoko just stormed around the bed to keep yelling, while Hana and Tsuna stayed in the doorway.

When Tsuna had gotten the call, he and Kyoko had rushed to the scene.  It had only taken them a few minutes, but by the time they’d gotten there, it was already too late.  Ryohei was unconscious on the ground and Hana was frantically muttering to herself about the pros and cons of moving him.  It hadn’t taken long for the ambulance to arrive, or for Ryohei to return to consciousness, but it was clear he wouldn’t be leaving the bed anytime soon.  Which meant there was no escaping the wrath of one very angry sister.

“Kyoko, I’m sorry-“

“Don’t even try it!” Kyoko yells.  “You’re not sorry you lied.  You’re just sorry you got caught!”

She throws up her hands and storms out, shoving Tsuna and Hana out of the way to start pacing in the hall.  Hana and Tsuna glance at each other, and then follow her out.

“I’m angry with him!” Kyoko yells.  “I know he likes to fight.  I don’t like it, but I accept it so long as he stays safe.”

“The guy did go after Hana-“

“Only after he realised Hana was talking Brother out of fighting!  The second that guy showed up, all Brother could see was a fight.  If Hana hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have even hesitated!  Even after he promised he wouldn’t.”

“It was a ridiculous thing to make him promise anyway” Hana replies, eyes still bitter.  “You know what he’s like, there was no way he wasn’t going to find some way to get involved.”

Kyoko swings round.

“Then why not just tell me that!  Why make promises when you have no intention of keeping them?  If I’m going to be angry either way, let it be because you’ve been honest, rather than treating me like…like”

She starts pacing again.

“Like a naïve little toddler who thinks you can pluck a nose off your face!”

“That’s actually possible with a little effort.”

They all glance down to see Reborn walking up, one hand holding some kind of fancy watch. 

“Kurokawa, did the attacker leave one of these with Sasagawa?”

The girl looks at the baby in confusion, before something clicks in her brain and she starts rummaging in her bag.

“Yes…he tossed it on his chest when he left.  I grabbed it without even thinking.”

The gold watch is retrieved, and she tosses it to the baby, who flips it open with far less effort than one would think, and frowns as he takes in the times on both.

“I suspected as much.  There’s no doubting it now.”

“What?  Why are two watches so important.”

Reborn looks up.  “Don’t be stupid Tsuna.  A watch with a very specific time has been left on every victim.”

“Every…”

Kyoko gasps, and they look up, for the first time registering what exists outside Ryohei’s room.  The halls are filled with Namimori student, as are the beds. 

“This must be close to half the school” Kyoko whispers.

“And close to twenty victims” Hana adds.  “In less than what?  Four days?  That’s insane.”

“It’s a message Tsuna” Reborn announces, drawing their attention back down.  “A message aimed at you.”

“…HIEI?”

* * *

While the baby offers up some ridiculous explanation involving mafia’s ‘omerta’ and Fuuta’s ranking lists, Hana finds her attention drawn to some miraculously unharmed Disciplinary Committee members walking down the halls.  Glad for the distraction, she leaves the panicking Tsuna and still upset Kyoko to solve a much easier problem.

“Oi, monkeys!’

She storms up to Kusakabe.  “I recognised the uniform of the monkey who attacked Sasagawa.  They’re from the Kokuyo Middle School.”

“We know” Kusakabe replies, and Hana blinks.

“You do?”

The committee member following him smirked. 

“Our leader received a tip regarding those responsible and is out dealing with them as we speak.”

Her lips quirk.

“Gotta hand it to that psycho.  He’s a nutcase, but at least he’s our nutcase.”

Suddenly, Tsuna and Kyoko are at her sides, looking pale. 

“Hana, do you still have battery on your phone?” Tsuna begs.

* * *

For the tenth time in as many minutes, Gokudera glances over at where Tsuna and Kyoko should be sitting and grits his teeth.

He should go to the hospital.  Before class started Kurokawa had informed him of Turf Top’s failed attempt to fight and not to expect the four of them.  The only thing stopping him was the fact that he’d have to drag Yamamoto with him since he was the teens bodyguard, and after walking home with him and the walk this morning, having the better part of a classroom between them was a genuine relief.  How is he supposed to find out more about the Tenth if he’s stuck babysitting a baseball player? 

His phone starts to ring, and the teacher pauses mid-lecture, glaring at him disapprovingly.  Gokudera reaches for the phone, and answers it, mindless of the gaping man in front of him.

“Gokudera!  Put that phone down this instant!”

The teen just rolls his eyes.

“What is it Kurokawa?  My phones about to die and the teacher’s yelling at me.  Does the Tenth need something?”

He really hopes so.  Anything to get out of his current job.

“You answered your phone during-never mind, I’ll yell at you for that later, listen up.  They got Sasagawa when we were walking to school.  Hibari’s gone to cut off the head but the dumb baby says this is all mafia related.  They’re going after people on one of Fuuta’s lists, and you and Yamamoto are next.”

Gokudera’s eyes widen.

“Stay in class, and don’t take your eyes off Yamamoto.  Until that violent monkey takes care of things, both of you need to stay out of sight.  We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

She doesn’t wait for him to answer, hanging up, and leaving him with just a very irate teacher yelling in his ear.  He drops the phone, and stares at the paper in front of him.

The attacks are mafia related.  They attacked Turf Top, who the Tenth considered a brother.  Kurokawa couldn’t _possibly_ the insult involved there.  As the Tenth’s right-hand man, he can’t just sit back and let that crazy prefect take out the threat to the family!

He glances over the classroom, and smirks when he realises Yamamoto is sleeping.  Perfect – the civilian can stay in school where it’s safe, and Gokudera can do what he needs to do. 

He stands, striding out the door mindless of the teacher’s renewed barking. 

If a mafia family is looking for a Vongola, then that’s exactly what he’ll give them.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Tsuna, Kyoko and Hana are finally at school, having missed most of the morning.

“Thank god so many other students are out” Hana says, already digging out a folder.  “Most of the teachers will be lax to compensate.  You wreak havoc on my attendance Sawada.”

“I’m not happy about it either Hana” Tsuna reminds her.  “But all we have to do is wait for Hibari to get back, and then everything will be back to normal.”

“This isn’t a job you can hand over Tsuna” Reborn warns.  “These students are mafioso.  As good as Hibari is, he’s never faced the Italian underground before.”

“Well, between the Italian underground and Hibari, I’m putting my money on Hibari” Tsuna replies.  “He never loses.  I’m not even sure he’s human.”

“It is scary just how strong he is” Hana muses.  “I never see him train, but he makes it look so easy.”

All three nod at that, and open the door to their classroom, uttering apologies as they do.  Yamamoto, dozing at his desk, immediately looks up and grins at their arrival.

“Afternoon Tsuna, Kyoko, Hana!  Is Sasagawa going to be okay?”

Kyoko smiles and moves closer, telling the baseball player what happened (the teacher seems to be tolerating this more through taste than etiquette).  Tsuna however, doesn’t even make it to his seat before he notices somebody missing.

“…Wait, where’s Gokudera?”

Yamamoto freezes mid laugh, head swinging to spot the empty desk.  All of them glance around, before a heavy, sinking feeling pools into Tsuna’s gut.

“Oh no…”

“Gokudera Hayato decided his education wasn’t important enough to stay” the teacher snipes.  “Considering what has happened to the rest of his classmates, he is clearly not as smart as-“

“Okay thank you bye!”  Tsuna squeaks, turning tail and running out the door.  Yamamoto instantly jumps to his feet and races after him.

“Tsuna!  Wait for me!”

“ALL OF YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!”

Kyoko ignores the vein pulsing in her teacher’s head and instantly follows, while Hana’s head jerks between the door and her desk before growling and tossing the notepad down, heading out the door, and wincing at the teacher’s scream.

* * *

Gokudera isn’t answering his phone.  According to Hana, it was low on battery when she called him, so it’s probably not intentional.  This means they also have no idea where he might have gone, so they’re sticking with the streets he takes to go home.  If Kokuyo are after him, and there’s still somebody out here that Hibari hasn’t gotten to yet, it’s likely they’ll target him on the way home.

As it turns out, they don’t find Gokudera, but they do find an ambush.  One that drops a net on Tsuna in the middle of the street and gives the entire group a partial heart attack.

“Hiei!  Haru!  What are you doing!” Tsuna cries, trying to writhe free as Reborn watches from the side-lines, concentrating more on the lizard that’s starting to act a little weird in his hands.  The baby had jumped from his head a mere second before the Midori school girl attacked.

“I’m proving my defence skills Tsuna!” she says, proud as it’s possible for a girl to be in a clearly homemade police outfit while straddling a boy caught in a net.  “We’re going to make the neighbourhood safe again.”

Kyoko frowns.  “Wait, Haru, why aren’t you in school?”

“Really, that’s the question you want answered first?” Hana asks, and Yamamoto bursts into laughter.

Haru pouts, and ignores the two of them to focus on Kyoko. 

“I heard about these awful villains attacking my Tsuna’s school!” she says.  “I couldn’t just stand by and do nothing!  Lambo and I-pin wanted to help too!”

“Yeah!” Lambo says.  “The Great Lambo is the best at defeating bad guys.”

“See Tsuna, even the civilian girls know when it’s time to step up” Reborn adds.

Tsuna just sighs. 

“Please just be careful” he begs.  “It’s a lot more dangerous than you’d think.”

“Don’t worry Tsuna, I’m the best babysitter” Haru tells him.  “It’s a sign that I’d be a fantastic wife and mother.  We’re even avoiding distractions, like the fireworks coming from the shopping district.”

Hana frowns.  “Fireworks?  In the middle of the week?”

Haru shrugs.  “I know.  I couldn’t even see them when I looked up, but I could hear them all the way from Tsuna’s street.”

Everyone’s eyes meet at one, and they start bolting down the road.

“ThanksHarupleasemakesureLamboandI-pingethomesafely!” Tsuna hollers, and prays Gokudera is still in one piece when he finds him.

* * *

He is.  Sort of.  The teen’s in better shape than his opponent at any rate.  The blue haired teen is bleeding profusely and is currently curled up on the pavement.  Kyoko glances at the body, and then turns to Hana, who shakes her head.

“No way.  Guy I remember was blond.  There must be at least two of them.”

Tsuna however, is less worried about the number of opponents right now, and more worried about a bomber with a significant amount of blood on his shirt.  Gokudera at least, feels confident enough in his victory to come waltzing over and babbling about helping protect the Vongola name.

He’s so distracted, he doesn’t spot his victim stumbling to his feet until there are yo yos (weaponised yo yos, what is Tsuna’s life now?) being flung in Tsuna’s direction.  Gokudera immediately lunges forward to take the hit, only for both of them to get slammed to the ground by Yamamoto, coming in for a last minute save. 

“Hey now, it’s against the rules to throw when the player’s got his back turned” Yamamoto says with a grin that doesn’t even try to reach his eyes.

His opponent steps back, and tries again, only for Yamamoto to reach for his bat bag and swing…a bat that was suddenly not a bat anymore, slicing the yo yo string to pieces.  Tsuna’s eyes bug out of their sockets.

“YAMAMOTO!  WHEN DID YOU GET THAT?”

Yamamoto glances down at the sword, and then scratches his head sheepishly.

“Oh, this?  The baby gave it to me last week.  You were busy with Hibari, so he played a game with me.  It changes into a sword if I swing it past a certain speed.  Pretty cool huh?”

Whether it’s Yamamoto’s flippant answer, his skill, or just the number of opponents, it’s enough to make the Kokuyo teen back off, announcing Yamamoto’s name and how the baseball player is meant for someone else.  He starts limping away as the sound of sirens fill the air, and Tsuna is quite happy to see him go.

The teen only gets a few feet away though, before his spine snaps straight, and he collapses to the ground.  Tsuna’s eyes flicker to the side, where he spots Hana, holding what appears to be a tazer, the wires attached to the prone figure.  She rolls her eyes when she spots Tsuna’s expression.

“What?  The baby said this was mafia related, and you have questions.  Besides, I wanted to give this baby a test drive.”

She kisses the black control in amusement, while Tsuna’s face paled, and he glanced down at Reborn.

“Please tell me you’re not arming all my friends when my back is turned?”

The baby just smirks, and Tsuna despairs for what will make its way into the rest of his friend’s hands.

* * *

For lack of alternatives, they find themselves calling an ambulance to take the Kokuyo student to the hospital, while Gokudera insists he doesn’t need care as punishment for disobeying orders.  Reborn replies by calling Dr. Shamal to the hospital, and although the man grumbles throughout, he bandages up the teen while they gather in Ryohei’s room.

“You could have at least taken him to the school so I didn’t have to travel” Shamal mutters.  “All the victims are guys, so the school is first with scared girls.  I was getting to offer myself as an escort to their homes.”

“How chivalrous of you” Hana muttered.  “Now how about you wake up sleeping beauty in the next room?”

This just got a sigh.  “Ah, my lovely Hana.  As much as I would love to help you out, it wouldn’t do you much good.  If the kid’s mafia like you say, then he won’t say a word to you.”

“Oh, come on” Hana argues.  “You’re supposed to be this world-famous virus-doctor-slash-assassin.  There’s got to be some kind of truth-telling serum you can whip out for special occasions?”

The doctor grins and gets ready to reply, only to pause and grin as Kyoko came running up.

“Ah, my favourite Sasagawa!  Are there any booboos I can clear up for-“

“Did you hear?” she says, running right over the Shamal’s greeting.  “Kusakabe just got admitted!  He was attacked outside the hospital!”

“What!” Tsuna shrieks.  “But…if we have one here, shouldn’t Hibari have gotten the rest by now.  He’s been gone nearly all day.”

Shamal looks up.

“Hibari?  The cockblocker with the tonfa?”

Shamal looks a little nervous.  Everyone’s eyes narrow.

“What do you know?” Hana asks, looming as far as she dares while staying out of grabbing distance.  The doctor shrugs.

“Well, we did have a little run in this morning.  I was out protecting Namimori’s adorable girls when he attacked me out of nowhere.  In my panic, I may have released a trident mosquito.”

“What!” Tsuna shrieks.  “Don’t those kill people?”

To his horror, Shamal just waved it off.  “Relax, Sakurakura isn’t fatal.  It’s not even that dangerous right now.  It only affects you if you come in contact with sakura blossoms.  Since they’re not in season – I’ve got plenty of time to get him the antidote, he’s fine.”

“Except for the part where’s he’s been gone all day to take out the guys attacking Namimori students and hasn’t come back” Kyoko says, looking worried.  Hana already has her phone out, brow furrowed as the call connects.

“It went to voicemail.  That monkey _never_ lets it go to voicemail.  He says it’s crowding his phone.”

The bad feeling in Tsuna’s stomach increased.  “Something went wrong.  He’s in trouble.”

“I’m not surprised” Reborn says, walking back towards the group.  “I finally had my sources send me the intel on the targets.  They’re led by a man called Rokudo Mukuro – he’s a brutal and intelligent opponent.  Even Hibari would have trouble on his own.”

Tsuna started to pale, but Reborn ignored it.

“There’s another problem.”

Reborn holds up Leon.  Who looks like a fire hydrant before shifting into a basil plant.

"Leon lost his tail an hour ago.  Which means he can’t control his shifting, and can’t create any more dying will bullets.”

He holds up a single bullet between his fingers.

“Which means I only have one bullet.  After that, Tsuna will have to fight without it.”

“I don’t want to fight at all!”

“Sawada!” Ryohei yells.  “Swap with me!  I’ll fight in your stead to the extreme.”

Reborn jumps onto the teens bed, and the boxer pales at the sheer amount of killing intent emanating from the baby on his chest.

“You. Will. Not” Reborn warns.  “Vongola Ninth asked Tsuna to do this job.  It is an agreement between men.  A true agreement.  Do you understand.”

The teen sags.

“I understand.  I will just support Tsuna from here to the extreme.”

“But…Brother would be a much better choice” Tsuna protests.  “I can’t fight.  I don’t _know_ how to fight like this.”

“Don’t worry Tenth!  You won’t have to” Gokudera insists, metaphysical ears and tail wagging.  “I know I failed you before, but it won’t happen again.  I’ll take out this family on my own.”

“Gokudera, that seems-“

Yamamoto laughs, and leans over Tsuna’s shoulder.

“I’ll come too.  The more the merrier right?”

He only starts laughing harder when Gokudera’s face goes a certain shade of puce.

“Guys, we’re talking about someone who could take on Hibari” Tsuna stresses.  “We don’t have a chance.”

Hana frowns, hand on her chin as she mulls something over.

“Maybe you would, if you fought _with_ Hibari.”

Tsuna frowns.

“But he’s missing.”

“True” Hana says.  “Yet all the other victims were in easy to find places.  Which suggests they either couldn’t incapacitate him entirely, or they don’t want him being found.  I could be wrong, but I think they’re probably keeping him locked up wherever they’re hiding.”

“That doesn’t really help though Hana” Kyoko says.  “We’d still have to find him, and avoid the Kokuyo delinquents in the process.”

“Well…”

Hana glances across the hall, into the Kokuyo students room.  “We **do** have a hostage we can trade for him?”

Everyone glances into the room with a collective ‘ohhh…’

“Hey, if he’s not going to talk, might as well make him useful…”

Tsuna starts to smile, hope finally appearing on the horizon.

“That could work!  Then, even if Hibari’s injured, I could just switch with him and let him fight his way out.”

A shadow loomed over them.

“I will come as well.”

Tsuna squawks, leaping back as he takes in the woman clad in a squirrel outfit, while Gokudera lunged behind the doorframe, both shrieking the same name.

“Bianchi?”

Only the lower half of her face was visible, but it was clear she was smirking.

“I heard Gokudera was at the hospital and got worried” she said.  “I want to keep him in sight until I’m sure this is all over.”

Under normal circumstances, Tsuna is certain he’d shriek and say no.  But this is no time to be refusing professional help.  Between Gokudera, Bianchi, Yamamoto and Hibari, surely, they’d have enough to squeeze out a win, right?

Kyoko steps forward, arms akimbo.

“I’m coming too.”

Tsuna’s eyes widen.

“Hiei!”

From the bed, Ryohei gets even paler.

“Kyoko! You can’t-“

“Shut up Brother!” Kyoko snaps, and the teen’s mouth shuts with an audible clack.  “You don’t get a say in this.  I’m going to help Tsuna, and you are going to sit here and worry, like I do every time you choose to take on a fight that isn’t sanctioned!  Maybe then you’ll understand what it feels like to be me!”

She turns up her nose and storms out the room.  Tsuna watches in an awful mix of pride and horror, only to feel desperate eyes on his back.  When he turns, Ryohei is a mess.

“Sawada,” Ryohei gasps.  “You can’t let her get hurt.  I know I messed up, but if she gets hurt I will destroy you.”

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt” Tsuna promises.  “I’ll try to talk her out of it.”

He flees the room, closely followed by Yamamoto, leaving only Reborn and Hana with the bedridden teen.  Reborn just stares at him, and lowers the brow of his hat.

“You realise Kyoko will not step back until she learns the danger of what she’s doing, right.”

Ryohei frowns.  “She’s my sister” he insists.  “My job is to protect her to the extreme.”

“Then let her go” Reborn offers.  “Your sister wants to support Tsuna.  Better she learns what that means early rather than when it’s too late to back out.”

Ryohei looks at him with dismay, but stays silent as the baby walks out, following his student down the hall.  Hana frowns at the sight, and then turns to Ryohei.

“As much as I dislike the baby, he’s got a point.  Whether Tsuna likes it or not, we’re heading into mafia territory.  It’s no longer fun and games – you’ve had most of your limbs broken just to make a point.  We’re going to have to make a choice sooner, rather than later, because if this keeps up, it’ll be made for us.”

The boxer stares at her in confusion, but Hana recognises a glint of understanding in his eyes, and heads out.

“Think about it Sasagawa.  You’ve got quite a bit of time to do it now…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hibari-Tsuna - Hibari in Tsuna's body  
> Tsuna-Hibari - Tsuna in Hibari's body
> 
> So I've decided to skip the original arc and finish this fic after the Varia arc. Mostly because I have a lot of ideas and honestly, its a really good place to stop. Thanks to those who offered their opinions.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always found it hard to keep track of whose who with written body swaps, so to keep track I'm putting mind-body. If this is more confusing than helpful let me know.
> 
> Also, for anyone whose interested, I also started a tumblr account for my fanfiction. Still not entirely sure what I'll use it for - probably ramblings of future fic ideas or snippets of things I don't think qualify as actual fanfiction if I'm lucky. If you're interested in following, you can find it at luki-fanfic.tumblr.com


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